ArticleSatire

House of Reps to probe ‘export of over 7,000 ‘refrigerated penises’ to China’ | The #YNaijaCover

If you say “sad,” you’ll be trivialising the phenomenon. Like…“wetin concern House of Reps and penis?”

Maybe we could use problematic, remembering that the Femi Gbajabiamila-led House of Representatives threw out the Pantami motion as soon as it was raised.

House Minority Leader, Ndudi Elumelu, had Wednesday, raised a point of order calling for the sack of Communications Minister, Dr. Isa Pantami, over his past views supporting terror groups such as Al-Qaeda and Taliban – and was shut out before he finished his second sentence.

The House only had a rethink in a later sitting, saying it will consider the motion demanding the sack of the Minister of when it is properly presented according to Reps spokesman, Benjamin Kalu.

Kalu in a statement on Friday, said: “For the avoidance of doubt, the House is guided by the Standing Orders of the House of Representatives (House Rules) in its operations and administration.

“In this case, the Minority Leader has been asked to bring his views via a House motion to enable others to contribute to it in a truly democratic fashion, after which the House would be able to take a position on the issue.”

Read Also: Presidency’s response to #PantamiMustGo: And democracy went into coma | The #YNaijaCover

Interestingly, Kalu asks for democratic processes in the case of Pantami, but may now need to address how the House – a lawmaking arm of the government – failed to realise that the report on penis harvesting was purely fake (or satire, if you will).

Satirical medium, World News Daily Report on 31st March, reported that “Chinese customs officers have made the world’s biggest seizure of human organs in history this morning, a total of 7221 penises of African origin hidden in a refrigerated freight container.

“Acting on information from an anonymous informer, Chinese officers found the organs in 36 boxes labelled as plantains (cooking bananas) inside a refrigerated container on a ship harboured in the Shanghai Port.”

The ‘report’ continues, “Chinese General Administration of Customs spokesman, Li Wu, says the organs were shipped from Lagos in Nigeria but may have only transited through that country and could possibly originate from elsewhere in Africa.”

The House of Representatives, acting reactionary, resolved to investigate alleged illicit trade on human organs between Nigeria and China.

The resolution was a sequel to a unanimous adoption of a motion by Rimamnde Kwewum (PDP-Taraba) and co-sponsored by Olajide Olatubosun (APC-Oyo), at plenary on Thursday.

In moving the motion, Kwewum said that about two weeks ago, Chinese authorities seized a cargo ship that sailed from Nigeria with 7,200 refrigerated penis.’

“The media was awash a few years ago with horrifying stories of the harvest of organs of Nigerians and other Africans stranded in Libya for sale in Europe, the Middle East, America and China.

“Aware that the increasing cases of missing persons, ritual killings and trafficking of persons out of the country may be linked to the Red Market which can be attributed to the trafficking of young men and women who end up being victims of organ harvesting;

“Also aware that the increased banditry, kidnappings and spiralling violence in several parts of the country today make those parts of the country vulnerable and provide safe havens and ready supply channels for the illicit activities,” he said.

Say ‘energy’!

Perhaps, having fewer functions to perform, and more money to be pocketed, the House of Reps is now interested in the harvest of penis out of the country, but have no time for a Minister who is said to be a religious extremist – repentant or not. It is no surprise though.

Accountability is almost non-existent, so the Reps can reserve their energies for fake stories and ignore warnings from visual evidence and the DSS.

Right there before the eyes of readers, the website says its stories are fictional, and any coincidence with real-life people or things is surely a miracle. But, if you wanted to hide details from members of the House of Reps, put it at the bottom of a website.

World News Daily Report assumes all responsibility for the satirical nature of its articles and for the fictional nature of their content. All characters appearing in the articles in this website – even those based on real people – are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any person, living, dead or undead, is purely a miracle.”

Fact-checking the story, Reuters says the story is “False. A story about 7,200 Nigerian organs found in a cargo ship in China is fabricated and intended as satire.” Snopes reiterates this.

The House must be excited at the mention of the word, ‘penis’, but they need to do better. Like, ask President Muhammadu Buhari why he gets a hard-on for insecurity?

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