This year has been about patience for me… Patience, and letting go.
I felt the need to pause, and for a perfectionist workaholic like me that usually feels like hell on a lollipop stick. Lol! In life we measure a lot; goals, accomplishments, degrees, awards, social media stats and likes, etc, and so this sometimes inaccurately places values on us as individuals. We make the mistake of comparing ourselves forgetting we each have our individual journeys.
I’ve always said I’d rather be relevant than popular; I don’t want people to know me without it adding value to them or me. And so in many ways I feel like I am traveling an unbeaten path, but this year has taught me that it’s ok; and more so each step and each day are just pieces of a puzzle; it’s all coming together.
I have been recording in the UK and Lagos taking my time. I wasn’t motivated or inspired by the direction of music where I was and I refused to release material just because of societal pressure. I put what I had worked on since #intuition on iTunes for fans who asked and titled it #theLoveEP but I refused to share new material YET.
What I was/am hearing and what I was/am surrounded by seemed like night and day. So I paused, and I learnt a lot about myself, and the world I live in.
This year, I learnt about time & chance. In stepping back I realized how fickle we have become as human beings, how we don’t really carry each other along, how everyone seems so focused on their own issues that as we rise we don’t bless or add value to those around us.
God allowed people to let me down, not because they are bad but to show me that He alone holds the key to my purpose and destiny. He then in the same vein lifted me up so many times and blessed me in ways that could only have been from Him.
I learnt that only a handful are sincerely authentic. Some people sometimes just celebrate what seems “cool” without forming a true opinion about it. Or they associate themselves with things/concepts/people that will validate their insecurities.
I jokingly said to a few people the other day: “I am not a cool kid, I don’t know how to be fake; I’m under no pressure to fit in. Never have I been. My parents and siblings celebrate individuality so peer pressure was never an issue for me. I’m living free!” I learnt and accepted that I’m different.
I wasn’t born with the desire to pretend or tone down my authenticity for fear that it may intimidate or push some away. After saying no to several stage productions and scripts I accepted the role of Derry Black in the hit musical SARO and a leading role in LONDON LIFE LAGOS LIVING.
I appreciate Keke Hammond for making me accept Saro and Lala Akindoju for inviting me to be part of the L4 experience. My mother had always said I was an effortless actress yet I was pleasantly surprised by the rave reviews of the audience.
You could say that I rediscovered myself this year. I am now unafraid, welcoming every experience, every song and every stage I am led to with open arms and a focused determination to always be authentic.
I also make it a point now to always support the ladies in my industry. Women have been made to see each other as competition; I refuse to be a part of that mess! God bless all of us from Tiwa to Waje to Omawumi, from Rita to Omoni to every single one of us working hard to be the best we can; I promise to always support.
We stand stronger when we stand together. I’m not streetwise so I don’t even know how to put someone else down. I have the Brady Bunch happy mentality – no gimmicks; just love.
So I pray for the strength to be myself; to show more love and compassion; to use my life as a tool to encourage others; to celebrate and exploit my individuality single-mindedly.
Like I said, we are always measuring and comparing; never quite appreciating that we each have our own journey and things aren’t always as they seem. I’m at peace; excited about the new #PiecesOfLove album; 90% of which is recorded live. It’s written In truth; no airs, no pressure, just pure music; and I am proud of it!
Mostly, this year more than anything I thank God for my family! My most awesome husband Labo and my daughter – my #bestie! My three sisters Temi, Tomi & Tosin and my protective brother Toye! My father who is undeniably the most faithful and diligent dad & my mother who is my number 1 fan! My mum-in-law who loves me beyond what I could ever imagine and my 3 inherited brothers Leye, Lanre & Layi who shower me with love! Family over everything! Here’s to a very successful 2016. I pray we remain in Gods grace and love!
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30 Days of Gratitude is a month-long series curated by Leading Ladies Africa. It chronicles the unique experiences of different African women, and presents them the opportunity to share their, life-learned lessons, dreams& aspirations, and their hopes for the future.
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