Ogungbesan Adedoyinsola: My mum was forced to marry my father after he raped her [Nigerian Voices]

My name is Ogungbesan Adedoyinsola. I am 20 years old. I was born in Lagos state, Nigeria. And I have lived in Lagos, since I was born.

Sometime many years ago, I was diagnosed with cerebral malaria and had serious episodes of convulsions. After undergoing several blood transfusion. My condition became critical, I was in a coma for nearly a week. Hours to when the doctors concluded that it best I was let to rest. The life that everyone thought had ended, opened my eyes.

It took me time to fully recover, but after a few years I was fully functional, even though I had lost some vital memories of my childhood. I got along just fine with friends in school. But my home was not in order. My dad, was always smoking and drinking had a hot temper, while my mom claims she did not marry my father out of love. She was raped by father when she was 18 years or so, got pregnant and was forced to marry the father of the baby in her womb. Due to family heritage and respect, she became his bride.

The baby in her womb was my older sister, the first of four children. The rest are boys, and I happen to be the last of them all.

My mom left my father when I was a baby, to raise us by herself and with the help of her father, who later died that very year. She struggled to put us in school, with little help from friends and family, to manage through hard times.My sister graduated from college years after, only to start my mother’s life cycle, in a more fetish way. She’s with two daughters now and no job. Her husband also does not have a constant job. Seriously I don’t know what he does. You can  tell from the look of her first daughter that they’re malnourished.

My older brother, the first boy is currently serving in Kano state as an interim Economics teacher, which ends sometime in September. He has no actual plan for his life, and he his gradually walking in the footsteps of my father. Not caring for his well being  psychologically, chain of girl friends, etc.

The second boy, did well for himself, but failed to achieve the goal he had set for himself, due to peer pressure. He works in a bank, but his consciousness to the things of the world, is gradually taking him on a downward heel.

I, the most stubborn of all, have looked into the steps of my predecessor and noticed that, if I continue in this environment, I would likely end up like them. So I stopped going to class. Because I must rewrite my family history. I sit in the library all day thinking of things I can do, not to end up like them. I sleep at the staircase towards the library. My life is totally isolated from everyone. I had to stop going to class because the state of my country is dire, the future is bleak. The same thing happens again and again.

I don’t want to end up as poor as my family is. Sometimes I beg, so that I have to live to survive another day. I believe I can change the world.

As at seven years ago I began writing poems and short plays. The interest at those time to express my view of life was bleak, mainly because I was busy solidifying my interest in science. I wrote for fun and soon stopped writing when my literature began to fade with time. My incessant failure to get admission into university twice was dashed away.  With fire in my veins I took the next JAMB with fervent prayers and read harder than I ever did. I finally got an admission to the university of first choice, “UNILAG”. After a stressful admission process and failure to get accommodation in the school hostel. My story was at a new phase.

Not only did I not have to fight for a seat in the distance learning institute main auditorium, I also had to struggle to go from home everyday and endure an hour traffic to and fro. In due time figured out that the University had little to offer in what I will eventually become in life. Though the degree is of great importance, my destiny is worth much more than anything. As a Christian, I sought the help of God. At this point he made me understand why I needed to become a man. He revealed to me in a night vision to forsake my admission and go back to my first love, ” poetry”. I sit for hours thinking and writing. I felt the words I wrote move through my whole being. It resurrected fulfillment and for the first time in many years I felt the gravity of peace. Now faced with the challenge to make an income with my reborn love for poetry. I have faith that my passion to write astronomical poetic verses will one day take me to my promise land.


This entry was submitted as part of the Nigerian Voices competition organized by YNaija.com.

We publish, un-edited, Nigerians telling the stories of their everyday lives. Read all the narratives daily on the Nigerian Voices vertical. You can also contribute your own story titled ‘Nigerian Voices’ to [email protected]

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