by Onomarie Uriri

What her fans don’t realize is that in the 2 minutes it took her to start wailing, Dame Patience took something as deathly serious as nearly 300 girls missing (for nearly 3 weeks) and turned it into a comic skit, a modern day Icheoku, filled with incomprehensive sentences and incoherent words.

In the 80’s, I remember watching a series produced by the Nigerian Television Authority; called ‘Icheoku.’ It featured a court clerk who served as an interpreter between his fellow Igbo people, and the white District Judge who was British. The clerk would often misunderstand or misinterpret sentences from the judge and would end up causing a ruckus in court. I didn’t really understand the nuances of the show because I was young, but it was very funny to watch. It seemed to be a kangaroo court of some sort and was always noisy, rowdy and filled with big incomprehensible words like “modigad” “bagotee’ and “imbedi.” As a viewer though, it was clear to see the huge divide between the district judge and the indigenous people. The clerk who was supposed to act as an intermediary between both parties was completely inept at his job.
Two days ago, I watched in stunned disbelief as the First Lady of Nigeria, Dame Patience Jonathan interrogated some officials of the secondary school in Chibok, and then, mid-way into shouting “Diariz God,” suddenly collapsed into a quivering heap of tears. I replayed the video twice; just to be sure I wasn’t watching a Nigerian version of Punk’d (apologies Ashton Kucther), but it was still the same thing. And then, I immediately thought about Icheoku from yonder days, because I hadn’t watched anything as absurd or as baffling since then, and this wasn’t comedy. It was (is) real life.
Expectedly, that video has gone viral; generating conversation on social media, creating inspiration for some very funny illustrations, videos and memes, but the pressing, pertinent issue still remains: nearly 300 school girls are STILL missing and it is NOT a joke. A few people have commended Dame, saying her prickly and unpolished interrogation of the officials should be overlooked, that her crying jig was probably as a result of her motherly instincts kicking in. Well, that’s discussion for another day.
Contrary to what some would think, I don’t expect Dame to speak with a British, American or even Chinese accent (it would help a great deal if she were a bit more eloquent). But even that in itself, is not a crime, nobody ever went to jail for not knowing how to communicate effectively in flawless English.
What her fans don’t realize is that in the 2 minutes it took her to start wailing, Dame Patience took something as deathly serious as nearly 300 girls missing (for nearly 3 weeks) and turned it into a comic skit, a modern day Icheoku, filled with incomprehensive sentences and incoherent words. Clearly, the First Lady does not have a full grasp of the grave implications of the missing girls. She does not understand that this is not a kitchen affair where one can just order people around with no clear consequences or repercussions. She does not realize that decisive action from her husband and his ilk is what the Nigerian people desperately need; what the international community has now offered to give. She doesn’t seem to be aware that this very serious issue of abduction, of abuse, and very possibly sexual slavery is what has placed Nigeria on the world stage… for very wrong reasons.
Her ill-timed and absolutely dishonest outburst is symptomatic of the present-day Nigerian leader, the one who thinks wringing hands helplessly in public is somehow attractive or acceptable. The one like loud clanging cymbals, who makes a lot of noise but adds absolutely no value. Nigerians have obviously become weary and disillusioned with this kind.
The First Lady’s actions, (past and present), not her poor grammar or atrocious diction, show that she does NOT possess the ability to grasp the seriousness and importance of issues – that to me is the real problem. That the world would look at her crying (almost 3 weeks after) and wonder what else she has done to help the situation, they would wonder if she has physically met with the parents of the abducted girls, if she has participated in any of the numerous walks or protests, demanding the immediate release of these girls. They would wonder if she is a good (or bad) reflection of the sort of person her husband is. And I’m sure they will ask why, Nigerians who are largely intelligent and educated people have chosen to be led by these sort of leaders, people who not only seem disconnected from reality, but who have also chosen to resort to unnecessary theatrics and excessive drama.
As the Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka said: “This is a government that is in denial mentally.” We must continue to shake them out of that mental lethargy and demand that they bring back our girls, all of them, alive.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.