Purposeful parenting: Stop yelling and start parenting

by Towanna B. Freeman

Constant screaming and shouting at home makes a child feel that yelling is a normal and acceptable behaviour. Since childhood is a very impressionable phase, a child develops his behavior based on what he sees around.

Yelling is quite a common thing for many parents who lose their patience too soon and end up screaming at their kids. Such parents, however, do not realize the impact of their unreasonable behavior on kids. Research shows that yelling at children can lead to detrimental and long lasting consequences. As a parent, you need to understand how your behavior affects your child and why you should stop yelling and start parenting.

Reasons Why You Must Stop Yelling and Start Parenting

First of all, yelling at your kid does not serve any purpose whatsoever. If you are frustrated because your child is not listening to you, you need to know that screaming at him/her will not change anything. Further, it might lead to a negative reaction and soon turn into a conflict.

Constant screaming and shouting at home makes a child feel that yelling is a normal and acceptable behavior. Since childhood is a very impressionable phase, a child develops his behaviour based on what he sees around. As he grows up, he might not understand why yelling is not an acceptable response and why dealing with a problem calmly is the best option.

How You Can Address This Problem

If you are finding it difficult to stay calm while disciplining your child, you should step away until you are calm. Your impulsive rage will have severe consequences without resolving the problem. Once you are calm, you should talk to your child and make him/her understand why his/her behavior is not right.

In certain cases, professional help and assistance from friends and family can prevent the problem from spiraling out of control. You can talk to friends with kids to learn how they parent their children without losing self-control.

Dr. Christine Edmondson, respected psychologist and contributor to BlackLifeCoaches.net says, ”Being calm and clear in our parenting does not mean we are pushovers. It shows just the opposite! A resolute and steady temperament demonstrates loudly that we are to be both respected and trusted. At some point kids can become resistant and hardened to an over the top tone. There is nothing sadder than watching a teen boy zone out while his mother “goes off on him.” The truth is the volume or aggressiveness of our communication does nothing to ensure its long-term effectiveness. We can also unintentionally condition our kids to only take us or others seriously if yelling is involved.”

As a parent, it is essential for you to have patience, self-control and compassion to raise your kids properly. By yelling and losing your calm, you will end up distancing yourself from them.

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Towanna B. Freeman is the creator of BlackLifeCoaches.net.  She is also a mother of two, community mentor, inspirational speaker, and author of Purposeful Action, 7 Steps to Fulfillment.

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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