#RIP Joan Rivers: The 10 funniest quotes she ever uttered

by Kolapo Olapoju

American comic, Joan Rivers gave up the ghost on Thursday, 4 September, after suffering a cardiac arrest during throat surgery on her vocal cords at an outpatient clinic in New York on 28 August.

Over the course of her life and career, the legendary comedian was hilarious, blunt, brash and brutally expressive with her quotes,comments and utterances.

Here are ten of Joan Rivers’ funniest quotes.

  1. “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”
  2. “Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?”
  3. “I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer’s. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.”
  4. “I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”
  5. “I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.”
  6. “I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
  7. “On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.”
  8. “Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children’s books. First up: ‘Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'”
  9. “I now consider it a good day when I don’t step on my boobs.”
  10. “I hate thin people; ‘Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?'”

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