by Saatah  Nubari

Read: @Ayourb: Pastor Oritsejafor should resign and face the music [ HERE]

Read: @Saatah to @Ayourb on #OritsejaforGate : No one is entitled to be ignorant (A Rejoinder) [HERE]

Read: @Ayourb to @Saatah : This is not a rejoinder, it is an education on how not to write [HERE]

It will be inhumane of me to reply you without first apologising, and inhumane I’m not. Uncle, I sincerely apologise for “The hocus-pocus jumble” I titled a rejoinder “To your recently well publicized essay” — I laughed while writing that part though, but I know you’re merciful and will as such pardon my youthful exuberance—that shouldn’t take away the seriousness with which I convey my apology though.

You impressed me with your reply. When I mean impressed, I’m speaking in relation to your “well publicised essay”, which if it was a programme, a computer scientist would classify it as one which was syntactically, logically and semantically filled with errors or if the computer scientist were like me, he’ll substitute the word error in this sentence with the word incorrect.

I tried my possible best to cognize what you put down as a reply to my “hocus-pocus” rejoinder, but my efforts were rendered useless by your inane, dim, hollow and outright gormless piece. I might have come up disrespectful in this reply, but I have been brought up to understand that respect is not assumed, it is earned, and you sir, haven’t earned it.

Well, my reply in earnest begins here:  you said “Aside your deliberate attempt to turn logic on its head and pouring invectives on me, whom you don’t know, you quickly exposed yourself as a half-baked hack in a hurry to satisfy your paymasters and earn the acquiescence of whomsoever is it you’re working for”. Uncle Ayobami, let me commence by introducing myself in the most unswerving way possible; I am Saatah Nubari, and I think for myself. The reason you do not know me is because I’m not like you, I’m not one who can be paid to stifle my ability to reason, rationalize and comprehend just so I can intermittently misuse my access to the internet to misinform and delude people by distorting and misrepresenting issues both sensitive and insensitive in nature.

I’ll answer your first question where you likened what happened in South Africa to what happened to the son of the Governor of Jigawa state. Was the $50.000 found in the possession of the Governor’s son declared? If no, then both cases are the same, with one difference being that one was caught in his country and the other in another country while trying to carry out a legitimate government transaction. “Legitimate” here means “conforming to an accepted standard”—being the sixth definition of the word “legitimate”, in the 21^st Century Chambers Dictionary. Well, I know you’re finding it gruelling understanding what I mean when I say it is an accepted standard, and since you come across to me as part of an “elite” group of individuals who feel too racially inferior that they think anything done by a white man is true/good/correct—permit me to ask that you find the CRS (Congressional Research Service) Report For the US Congress submitted on the 11^th of April 2014, it’s a 34 page document, but the summary would be just fine for this.

After stating how “parlous” my education was, you went on to say “I am still amazed that you are not aware that currency brought into or taken from South Africa is monitored by law, and that anyone bringing into that country more than R25,000 in South African currency or U$10,000 or the equivalent thereof in foreign currency must declared such? I am sure your parlous education won’t let you realise that when you wilfully contravene such laid down laws, you are immediately suspected to be a criminal” well, Uncle Ayobami, you are very correct as a matter of fact, but I’ll ask that you find a copy of the VIENNA CONVENTION ON DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS done at Vienna on 18^th April 1961. I’ll also advice that you delve right into Article 27—let me just divulge No 3 of Article 27 for you; “The diplomatic bag shall not be opened or detained”. Let’s assume you’re not “thick”, like you used most often in your piece, don’t you think this is the best way to “launder” money to another country? Taking into consideration that those involved in the “laundering” are at the highest level of government? Maybe you would, but even an uneducated armed robber like Lawrence Anini won’t walk right into the arms of a security personnel, with suitcases loaded with $9.3 million in cash if he doesn’t think it is legitimate

NOTE TO READERS: I’m not by any means trying to justify anything unjustifiable.

“Let me educate you a bit here. The crime was committed on 5^th September, 2014 and the Nigerian government made their first public statement on the 11^th September, 2014. But the impolitic you are, you wrote that I was dishing out facts that I alone possessed. How smart?” those were your words. Uncle Ayobami, your “well publicised essay” was published on the 17^th of September, 2014, and in it you said “One amazing fact is that the Nigerian government has maintained a curious silence since the scandal broke….” But right here, in this your new “well publicised essay” you said the first public statement was made on the 11^th of September — Uncle Ayobami that’s six whole days before your “well publicised essay” was published and you deliberately failed to make mention of it. Now, my question: where you suffering from amnesia when you were putting down your “well publicised essay”? You asked “How smart”? Trust me, I am VERY smart.

You went on to say “Why would a government that is at the peak of promoting the cashless policy in our economy be the chief breaker of that policy by moving such large amount of cash?” I’m appalled by the lack of depth with which you have tried to enfold your various misrepresentations, but I’ll be generous and still EDUCATE you. I took your advice and indulged Google and this came right from the Central Bank’s website www.cenbank.org/cashless/ “The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) has introduced a new policy on cash-based transactions which stipulates ‘cash handling charge’ on daily cash withdrawals that exceed N500,000 for individuals and N3,000,000 for Corporate bodies. The new policy on cash-based transactions (withdrawals) in banks, aims at reducing (NOT ELIMINATING) the amount of physical cash (coins and notes) circulating in the economy, and encouraging more electronic-based transactions (payments for goods, services, transfers, etc.)” Uncle Ayobami, from what I just showed you, can you find any correlation between your gab on cashless policy, the real CBN cashless policy and $9.3 million seized in South Africa? If your answer is no, it means you’re catching up faster than I expected.

You claim to be an activist—at least that’s the reason you think I shouldn’t see you as partisan. Well, I know Ken Saro-Wiwa and Gani Fawhiemi and both of them at a point in time were actively involved in politics—isn’t that as partisan as anyone can get? Uncle Ayobami, you are not an activist and you will never be an activist.

You asked “If, indeed, it was a legitimate transaction of the Federal Government, why where the officials of our embassy in South Africa not on hand to make the entry easier and smoother?” I am not the Consul-General, Hon. Okey Emuchey, neither do I work for the government, so I am not the right person to be asked such a question.

Your questions continued: “Why would the Nigerian government seek to smuggle cash into a country without disclosure if it was, indeed, for a legitimate transaction?”, “are you aware that each arm of the Nigerian security has an account with the CBN for the purpose of arms purchase and such transactions are properly documented, so why was it not documented in this instance? I’m completely adrift with your use of the word “documentation” here, but according to the 21^st Century Chambers Dictionary, “documentation” means “document or documentary evidence”. Uncle Ayobami I’ll take it that you have access to bank statements of all arms of our security apparatus. Well, if you don’t, ask for it, or better still, conjure one just like you’ve conjured a lot of misinformation—but did you notice that you’re now asking questions? That’s what you should have done before coming out with your “well publicized essay”.

“Do countries buy arms and ferry the arms using planes instead of shipping them?” you’re based in Lagos, probably close to Apapa ports maybe that’s what you base your premise on, that goods must come in a container, loaded on a ship. Cargo planes, have you heard of it before? Well, it is mostly used to carry large cargo. Now that you have taken note of the fact that shipping is not the only mode of transporting goods, I’ll move on. Firstly, that they arrived in South Africa on a private jet doesn’t mean whatsoever they had gone to procure would’ve been brought back with that same jet. I’ll give you a very easy to assimilate scenario. You go to Oshodi market on a bike, to buy some goods; does that imply that you’ll be returning on a bike with the goods you just acquired? Won’t your mode of return be based on the quantity of goods acquired? You’re definitely not going to ride on a bike if you buy five bags of rice, but you can choose to ride on a bike if the quantity of goods bought is small right?

“Is logging huge cash around the world, rather than simple wire transfer, a much more acceptable way of conducting international trade between countries?” there is no generally acceptable way of conducting international trade between countries. There is probably no law that regulates arms transactions, but that is currently in motion. The UN Arms Trade Treaty which is yet to be put in force has just 45 ratifications out of a needed 50—Nigeria signed and ratified that document on the 12^th of August, 2013 while South Africa signed on the 25^th of September and is yet to ratify it. I’ve gone through the stress of explaining this to you, so you’ll know that when it comes to arms trade, Nigeria goes about it legitimately. If you still need clarification on international trade, I’ll suggest you read UNITED NATIONS COMMISSION ON INTERNATIONAL TRADE LAW (UNCITRAL), it’s a 101 page document or you can also read the 185 page “International and Regional Trade Law: The Law of the World Trade Organization” written by Professor J.H.H. Weiler, Associate Professor Sunngjoon Cho and Junior Professor Isabel Feichtner.

“Why should a legitimate business of the Nigerian government (if it was indeed legitimate) be conducted with private jets, when we have 10 jets in the presidential fleet?” I laughed seriously when I read this. Please I would love you to mention countries where planes in their presidential fleet are used to conduct business—like the CIA using Air force one to conduct business right? You should win a Nobel Prize for your thinking.

After teaching me how to make use of the search engine Google, you went on to list the “Ministry Arms” of Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor. I actually don’t understand why you did that, but well I won’t delve into that because I’m not a spokesman for the pastor and neither am I here to defend him. You went on to say “Readers judge for yourselves. While the facts on the ground is that the transaction was between Eagle Air and a certain Green Coast Produce Limited as recently as August 2^nd, Saatah forgot himself and echoed his sponsors by saying “we don’t want it” well, Mr. Uncle Ayobami, I’ll use the same explanation I used the first time. According to the spokesperson of Pastor Ayo, he has “interests” in Eagle Air right? Eagle Air then leases out their jet to Green Coast Produce Limited right? The jet leased to Green Coast Produce Limited and the jet Pastor Ayo claims his congregation bought for him are different right? Then why are you trying so hard to rope Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor into something he might not have a clue about? Why? Why? You talked about the FAAN policy on the use of private planes for commercial purposes, well here “For private aircraft owned or leased by companies or corporate entities, only the employees and members of the board of directors of the company will be permitted on board as passengers.”

After some long talk, you said “…then how is my asking the president to act in good faith and ensure a genuine closure an act of sabotage?”  Remember you said this? “how will the Federal Government of PDP led by Goodluck Jonathan handle this case? Will they prove their detractors right that the government of Jonathan have always known, collaborated with and have been covering up sponsors of terror in Nigeria, or will President Jonathan rise to the challenge this time?” this isn’t sabotage Uncle Ayobami, this is you stealthily accusing the President of collaborating with and covering up sponsors of terror.

You claim to be an activist—at least that’s the reason you think I shouldn’t see you as partisan. Well, I know Ken Saro-Wiwa and Gani Fawhiemi and both of them at a point in time were actively involved in politics—isn’t that as partisan as anyone can get? Uncle Ayobami, you are not an activist and you will never be an activist. That you led a protest while in the university to protest the coup that brought in Abacha doesn’t make you an activist, you were doing what was necessary, your survival depended on it—and so did the Aba women who revolted in 1929 and every Ogoni man. You made mention of you attending the University of Illorin right? You shouldn’t say that out loud next time, it might negatively affect their ranking.

Uncle Ayobami, I am not one who gets spooked at the sight of words like “gobbledegook”, Cockamamie” or “hocus-pocus”. I wish you had made some reasonable points with those words, but you disappointed me, again—or rather you didn’t disappoint me, you lived up to my expectation. Please sir, do not reply this. My IQ has been adversely affected by your “well publicized essay”, and I’ll need a trailer load of books to regain what I’ve lost by going through them.

Uncle Ayobami you made me miss the deadline for a short story submission, but it’s nothing. I hope we’ll put this discuss behind us. By the way, it was nothing personal.

Saatah Nubari is on Twitter @Saatah

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija