by Shola Okubote
Money plays an important role in marriage, and an overwhelming financial stress can create strains that affect the expression of our love, not always because we want to be materialistic or selfish, but because we innately desire an all round stability in our relationships. The extent we can go to meet this need and the maturity at handling associated issues however differs.
The question to ask is, “There may not be the desired financial buoyancy now, but is there love, teamwork, focus, determination and hard work towards success?” If you think your relationship is worth rescuing from the claws of financial tension, here are five recommended ways you can work it out;
Be On The Same Page: Communicate clearly to each other about your fears and concerns for your finances and together analyze your financial situation and agree on the financial future you want for yourselves. It is important that you both understand each other’s financial expectations.
Have a Plan: Strategize on how you want to achieve your financial dreams, don’t just wish and desire, you need to map out a practical and realistic way for you to make enough money for the kind of life you desire and to stay out of debt. Devise ways that can work best for you. For example, you can decide to do a professional course that will give you a better chance at getting a better job, or you may decide to relocate to another state where you can have better job prospects, or even start a business.
Make No Room For The Lazy One: It could be really frustrating to have a laid back partner who isn’t giving 100% commitment to your financial future. You both have to get out of your comfort zones and take actions to make your dreams become reality, discuss and agree on what each person’s contribution to your financial success would be and be committed to it.
Don’t Bite More Than You Can Chew: You will need to curb unnecessary spending, and together set financial priorities, make periodic budgets and stick to it. Don’t accumulate debts and put your financial future in jeopardy because you want to keep up with The Jones’. What is more important at every point in time? Ask yourselves important questions, be realistic and stay on course.
Let The Owl Do The Night Watch: While both of you should be actively involved in your financial decisions, it is important to let the person who is more competent at handling it take charge. Don’t take it up if you are not disciplined with spending or if you find it difficult to keep account and balance the sheets.
When Lost Ask For Directions: Don’t hesitate to seek professional help and counsel when you think you need to. Remember you are not alone in this situation, there are couples who have been in and out of the financial mess you are. No matter what you are experiencing you can find help somewhere.
Stick Together: Through the tension that financial stress can bring on marriage it is important that you stick together and work things out as a team. Believing in each other and in your future together will give you the strength you need to make things work.
Writer: Shola Okubote blogs at www.femmelounge.org and tweets as @femmelounge