And the award for blabber of the year goes to… Beyoncé’s father

Matthew Knowles with the biggest spoiler alert of the year so far

Everyone knows a Matthew. He’s the guy you don’t let follow you on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat because he can’t keep his mouth shut. She’s the girl who’ll call your parents and tell them you’ve eloped, or that there was a weekend in Monaco when you did coke off a stripper’s back. Yeah, Matthew is the guy you don’t see unless you have to, because he isn’t worth the trouble. You love him, but you know it’s best loving him from a distance. Everyone has a Matthew, including Beyonce.

On Monday, he ruined what would have been a brilliant roll out plan by announcing that the twins had arrived, pissing just about everyone off in the process. Some of you will probably read this and think, “Heck! He’s her dad cut him some slack.” But, the truth is it’s probably just as difficult for him to get one on one time with Beyonce as it is for anyone to get one on one time with Beyonce, and if there was a brilliant now ruined Instagram surprise moment waiting for us it’s never going to hit us quite the same way – and it was never going to start with him.

Anyway, people have gone from using nameless sources to using Matthew as the primary source, and the Beyhive isn’t having it. As Sesali Bowen of Refinery29 puts it, “For the Beyhive, our excitement about the actual birth of the twins is overshadowed by the anticipation of exactly how Beyoncé is going to tell us about it. We may as well be waiting for a new video to drop. Frankly, Matthew’s textgram with a cheesy balloon background and hashtags was not the announcement we were looking forward to. This is part of the reason he’s currently being dragged on social media, but it certainly isn’t the only reason.”

And then there’s the Telegraph with this absolutely savage headline: BEYONCE’S EMBARRASSING FATHER: WHO IS MATTHEW KNOWLES?

The lesson? Don’t tell the world anyone’s given birth if the mother hasn’t said a word about it.

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cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail