Nigerians enjoy needling our dual passport holders, who reside in diaspora on many things Nigerian culture, whenever they intend to come back home. Because culture shock can kill, and we love you.

It’s December, which means Christmas season, which means our people from around the world (Igbo kwenu!) will start to show face. Good thing, one of you (@iKillCuriosity) is already here to help you out with the latest tips on how to conduct yourself while here.

So I was an IJGB for a few days in Abuja and I thought I'd update you December returnees on the latest pro-tips.

— Lawrence (@iKillCuriosity) November 27, 2016

Quick disclaimer. This is self-shade, just a few idiosyncrasies I found myself displaying.

— Lawrence (@iKillCuriosity) November 27, 2016

(Not so) comprehensive thread on IJGBing: The 2016 guide.

— Lawrence (@iKillCuriosity) November 27, 2016

GALA – Say you've been craving it. See cravings (sole exception). Remember to complain about their size.

— Lawrence (@iKillCuriosity) November 27, 2016

DECENT RESTAURANTS (Myth) – Say they're overpriced. Wait for them to talk about your pounds and dollars.

— Lawrence (@iKillCuriosity) November 27, 2016

LAGOS – Declare preference for Abuja.

— Lawrence (@iKillCuriosity) November 27, 2016

The air kisses. Don't forget the air kisses and the "we should totally do lunch sometime" when you run into an acquaintance

— Tobi (@tobicomm) November 27, 2016

So, come on now, work it like a legitimate returnee.