Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here are the ones we saw today:
Do you guys realise how problematic it is for the pastor/priest to say “you may now kiss the bride”?
I mean did the woman give you the consent to kiss her?
The society will never let us rest…. and we will keep DISRUPTING the patriarchy
— ISIMBI (@SamiraIsimbi) March 29, 2019
A Christian wedding is already patriarchy but go off Queen.
Lmaooo Nigerian parents kill me, my baby cousin is dressed as an Egyptian prince for cultural day, yet his mom sent moin moin. Do they eat moin moin in Egypt? 😂😂
— Ada (@Fikkles__) March 29, 2019
If you shape the moin moin like a pyramid, it becomes Egyptian!
Build Pedestrian Bridges, we will not use it
Install Traffic Lights, we’ll beat it
Position Refuse Bins, we’ll rather dump on roads & in drains
Build road with 4 lanes, we’ll turn it into 1
– 1 lane for danfo, okada & keke
– 1 lane for traders
– 1 lane for car shop#WeNeedToFixUs
— Yinka Ogunnubi (@yinkanubi) March 29, 2019
We are all mad in this country.
The funniest scene in a Yoruba film to me was when Pasuma was toasting one chick in 3/4 trousers and he goes “o n shako, instead ko fe mi ki gbogbo shokoto e ba’le”. I almost died!
— T. Rankïn’ ∆ (@AfroVII) March 29, 2019
Aunty Rankin, translation?
Nigerian clubs and enabling debtors.
Businesses should prefer rich people but they prefer famous people.
If a rich person isn’t famous enough they might not even let you into the club.
— Written By (@DamiElebe) March 29, 2019
Blame it on capitalism and patriarchy.
Every Nigerian be like
“AH! GTBANK, I hope my money is safe Sha”
— DADDY THE BOY (@DaddyTheBoy) March 29, 2019
Even the ones who don’t put money in banks!
GTBank has 231 branches, 17 Cash Centres, 18 e-branches, 41 GTExpress, more than 1165 ATMs in Nigeria. Operates in Cote d’Ivoire, Gambia, Ghana, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Uganda, Kenya & Rwanda. It has also expanded to the United Kingdom. Can’t they pay Innoson N8.8billion?
— Youngichu 💯IFB (@youngichu) March 29, 2019
MANY will try but won’t be able to serve looks like these pic.twitter.com/Q0B2J2hj6T
— efé. (@omohsefe) March 29, 2019
He’s a legend, we stan so hard.
2.4B don reach 8.7B in 5years.
Make GTbank sef test wetin Interest dey do their customers for body
— Bam Bam (@wastedtwits) March 29, 2019
A Writ of FiFa only means Innoson Motors can sell property of GTB equivalent to the judgement debt (N8.8bn).
It doesn’t translate to Innoson Motors having a share of GTB or GTB customers losing their money.
— Samuel Korie (@korie_tweets) March 29, 2019
When Bernard Dayo isn’t writing about pop culture, he’s watching horror movies, anime and trying to pretend his addiction to Netflix isn’t a serious condition.