Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

The US Visa application process is the clumsiest I’ve encountered. Website contain so many links to verbose pages with even more links. Sigh

— Vive Le Roi (@0lukayode) March 13, 2019

Be patient, the Canada that you are rushing to isn’t going anywhere.

Dear Nigerians,

I have resigned my membership of Our Mumu Don. I no longer have confidence in the leader of the movement, Charly Boy. He betrayed the cause while I was away in prison and compromised with the oppressors. Thank you.

— Comrade Deji Adeyanju?? (@adeyanjudeji) March 13, 2019

Where’s your evidence? Is it just mouth you have?

I am planning something. I will unleash the word “apropos” on the next person I meet – just casually. I have always felt weird saying it, like it would make me sound pretentious. But yeah, next person I meet will be the guinea pig. And I’ll use the word apropos of nothing.

— The Writer Formerly Known As Elnathan (@elnathan_john) March 13, 2019

This is what happens when you read too much.

What is the best method/tool to persuade Nigerians to change their minds on something/anything?

— tyro (@DoubleEph) March 13, 2019

People who love calling out social media outrage/ activism as perfomative/ cheap, cry for attention etc spend their time trolling & indulging in their own performace of “overly blunt anti-popular op” while reveling in the attention in their comments w/ “LOL they will beat me oh!”

— Ozzy Etomi (@ozzyetomi) March 13, 2019

DEEP!

What Amber did was cruel & unforgivable, but the fact remains that men are more likely to be the abusers of women (& men) than women are to be the abusers of men.

Amber’s actions do not put the abusive tendencies of women on equal grounds with the abusive tendencies of men.

— Zi (@Ziziian) March 13, 2019

FACTS!

So this man at the site of this building collapse in Lagos island is threatening to kill himself as he lost 3 of his kids who sat at home all through last week because of school fees only for him to take them to school today, pay their fees and they all die

I’m deeply hurt ??

— Emeka Uduma (@IAmMrMeks) March 13, 2019