Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

 

1 Trump

President Trump finally came out of his no tweet zone yesterday to post this:

Despite so many false statements and lies, total and complete vindication…and WOW, Comey is a leaker!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 9, 2017

He was also grateful to the media…don’t get ahead of yourself. He was specific:

Congratulations to Jeb Hensarling & Republicans on successful House vote to repeal major parts of the 2010 Dodd-Frank financial law. GROWTH!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 9, 2017

Oh, and he’d like to tell y’all consumed with ‘obstruction of justice’ to listen to the Law professor, Alan Dershowitz:

We should stop talking about obstruction of justice. No plausible case. We must distinguish crimes from pol sins https://t.co/Us4QKJB55M

— Alan Dershowitz (@AlanDersh) June 9, 2017

But I bet the fake media are not paying attention. All they care is this:

https://twitter.com/KaivanShroff/status/872986731292893185

OMG, what shade.

 

2. Kechi Okwuchi

It’s not all “disaster” in Trump’s land. This lady here has given us reason to smile and hope. In 2005, when the Sosoliso air crash happened, she survived and Lordy, what a testimony.

Hear her sing:

She's been through so much to get this far. #AGT continues Tuesday on @nbc. pic.twitter.com/RL5T5yuXqI

— America's Got Talent (@AGT) June 9, 2017

Reactions:

She was a Loyola Jesuit Student (1 of only 2) who survived the 2005 Sosoliso plane crash. Her name is Kechi Okwuchi pic.twitter.com/zhrWEzQMG9

— Yinka Ogunnubi (@yinkanubi) June 9, 2017

Biko when do we start voting for her??? Nigerians RISE for your girl!!!! https://t.co/1mdXasIDXf

— Ada Akunne (@SheisBoki) June 9, 2017

Let’s bring this home!

 

3. Reuben Abati

It’s always such a joy to hear of the strides Nigerians are making herever they find themselves. Former Special Adviser, Media and Publicity tweeted this:

“Seven candidates of Nigerian heritage have been elected into the United Kingdom parliament in the election held on Thursday.
The winners are: Chuka Umunna representing Streatham; Bim Afolami, Hitchin and Harpenden; Fiona Onasanya, Peterborough; Chi Onwurah, Newcastle; Kate Osamor, Edmonton ; Kemi Badenoch, Saffron Walden and Helen Grant, Maidstone and The Weald.
Congratulations.”

Seven Nigerians win U.K parliamentary election https://t.co/pn4hyMyOI1 pic.twitter.com/BbB1sLngim

— Reuben Abati (@abati1990) June 9, 2017

In our report, we explain who each of these young Nigerians are and what political contributions they’ve made to the UK.

[ See also]: “These 7 Nigerians are changing the face of Britain’s politics”

Nice.

4. Stanley Nwabia joins his comrade, @Akaebube, to advice Igbos residing in the North to “do the needful”.

[There’s more]: “The Thread: This is who the Northerners are coming for on Oct 1st.”

In all honesty I'll advise Igbos & all Southerners in the core-North to vacate the area ASAP.

— Mr Stanley Nwabia (@MrStanleyNwabia) June 9, 2017

Even Yorubas residing in the core-North should not think Hausa/Fulani have forgiven them over recent Ife crisis. They had better leave too

— Mr Stanley Nwabia (@MrStanleyNwabia) June 9, 2017

@Kadmaye, presumably a Northerner tweeted his disagreement.

The North will never ve any problem wif da yorubas,yorubas ar not Agitators but peaceful race that knw hw to live wif everyone. https://t.co/9GzPuzhWo3

— G E M I N I (@kadmaye) June 9, 2017

And Mr Nwabia unleashed his sarcastic tongue.

I'm guessing the Mile 12 & Ife crisis months ago right inside SW was between Cameroonians & Congolese residing in Nigeria. https://t.co/FPXeKFEmXx

— Mr Stanley Nwabia (@MrStanleyNwabia) June 9, 2017

Damn.

 

5. Gombe state Governor

Executive Governor of Gombe State, Alhaji Hassan Ibrahim Dankwambo has made it very clear he’s not with the Northern youth or the elderson that’ Kaduna Declaration’. He’s gone on to assure Igbos that Gombe will be a haven for them.

See below:

How can anyone ask Igbos to leave northern Nigeria? No one is more Nigerian than the other. Igbos in Gombe have nothing to fear.

— Governor Dankwambo (@HEDankwambo) June 9, 2017

Gombe is home to all Nigerians.

— Governor Dankwambo (@HEDankwambo) June 9, 2017

In Gombe, we are walking the talk. I have just had a meeting with security heads and stakeholders. Nothing to fear.

— Governor Dankwambo (@HEDankwambo) June 9, 2017

No one should have to live in fear because of his tribe, race, colour or religion.

— Governor Dankwambo (@HEDankwambo) June 9, 2017

6. Ben Murray-Bruce

Common Sense Senator made a video just for you.

WATCH:

The call asking the people from the south east to return home is disgusting, shameful and must be condemned in the strongest of terms. pic.twitter.com/rprc6f1h9m

— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) June 9, 2017

7. Kayode Ogundamisi

Mr Ogundamisi wants you to see for yourself what sort of man Nnamdi Kanu really is. WATCH:

BIAFRA DOES NOT PREACH HATE RIGHT? VIDEO: Any Igbo Person who attends any Church Pastored by a Yoruba Man is an Imbecile – Nnamdi Kanu pic.twitter.com/W8eCM3qGyv

— Kayode Ogundamisi (@ogundamisi) June 9, 2017

8. Chukwudebelu

Special Assistant on Digital/New Media to Buhari, Tolu Ogunlesi was staying in his TL when he got an urge to satisfy his curiosity:

If Boko Haram had voted in the 2015 elections, who d'yu think they'd have voted for? (Answer with the fear of God o)

— tolu ogunlesi (@toluogunlesi) June 9, 2017

Light hearted reactions began rolling in:

They won't have cared. As far as BH is concerned, we are all dead meat.

— HENRY Okelue (@4eyedmonk) June 9, 2017

Why not someone they knew they will be able to cut a deal with by getting their men released + money in exchange for chibok girls?

— Niran Oduola (@adeniranoduola) June 9, 2017

Then that curve ball happened:

You have a serious job, you are not anchoring discussions at the local newspaper stand or at a beer parlor.

What about the 2017 budget? https://t.co/VSaGLT3T2z

— Onye Nkuzi (@cchukudebelu) June 9, 2017

Ouch.

 

9. Oke

Speaking of the 2017 budget, Oke ponders on all that is not right with Nigeria:

Last year, we were looking for the budget to sign.

This year, the budget is looking for who to sign it.

What a country ??

— Oke Umurhohwo (@stalyf) June 9, 2017

And this is why we love Twitter NG:

@tonypox everybody is always looking for something in this country bro,if dey ain't lookin 4 job or moni,dey ar lookin 4 whr 2 faint pic.twitter.com/c80jkjGq1u

— ONYE MPA❕ (@Mrucofficial) June 9, 2017

Let dem b looking for everything.. soon they will b looking for where Nigeria is on the map?

— Thatthickbae? (@Mz__smart) June 9, 2017

Things that are normal in Nigeria will be like film trick in other nations.
Don't know what can surprise Nigerians again. We've seen it all

— Francis (@FrancisIyke_) June 9, 2017

Next year, we might be looking for who to write it! @Tutsy22 @shekariben

— Mshel™ (@iimshel) June 9, 2017

Very soon the budget will be confused which year it belongs to pic.twitter.com/97n2gtBX8I

— MelvinViannyPadre (@melvinvianny5) June 9, 2017

Wawu.

This is how Prison Break started ❤❤? pic.twitter.com/4oBVI95s0j

— Charlie Champagne ? (@_kvngmichael) June 9, 2017