Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

Time to burn all that Eba off! ??‍♀️?? #FitFam pic.twitter.com/Z9vXdZxuLj

— Cuppy (@cuppymusic) January 22, 2019

plantain is really not that great for y’all to be making puff puff and pancakes out of it. let’s be guided.

— god just be making anybody (@heisdope_) January 22, 2019

One of my first projects was to build a chapel in front of the Government House and relocating the then, library. Today, we have built chapels in the 27 LGAs of Imo State.

— Governor Rochas Okorocha (@realRochas) January 22, 2019

My own ojewa ke eng this morning is that my husband who decided to go on this diet with me for the heck of it has lost 5kg in less than 2 weeks. I’m about to start mixing garri in his cauliflower and putting butter in his smoothies.

— Black Water (@shemmaye) January 22, 2019

Seeing Christians who are homophobic, hate sex workers, or hate any kind of people tbh, is beyond me. If you say you’re in Jesus and you have the capacity to hate, just know there is something wrong. Because if God can love EVERYONE, who do you think you are?

— Lex Ash (@TheLexash) January 22, 2019

The best time to see a movie is between 10am-1pm and 10pm till whenever ??

— Osahon A (@sahon_A) January 22, 2019

No girl is boring, she doesn’t just like you.

— Bayray (@CurvyRed_) January 22, 2019

You can’t force anyone to like you, you can only try to better yourself and make yourself valuable. No one will be forced when you have what they need.

— Olufunmi peperempe (@modelina) January 22, 2019

If you are a “younger” person that wants to run for President in 2023 outside the two big parties, you need to start mobilizing and crowd-sourcing funds from 2019 onwards. You can’t just wake up in 2022 and announce you are running for President and actually expect to win.

— Dr. Joe Abah (@DrJoeAbah) January 22, 2019