Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1 Luvvie Ajayi
The company responsible for releasing our favourite TV Show every Sunday evening made a “mistake” by dishing out the goods to us 5 days early. Twitter went totally apeshit on us.
We’d be remiss in doing our job if we don’t point out the cons of going with the dark web. Listen to Luvvie Ajayi:
2. Chukwuemeka
If you’re not going to listen to Ms Ajayi, you’ll do well to listen to Chukwuemeka. Recall all those times you went to exotic places and when you tried to use the bathroom, this happened?
WATCH:
If you have ever had a problem grasping the importance of diversity in tech and its impact on society, watch this video pic.twitter.com/ZJ1Je1C4NW
— Chukwuemeka Afigbo (@nke_ise) August 16, 2017
Aha! I knew it.
3. Benjamin
Entirely different subject altogether, but still a complaint like the other before it, Benjamin is griping about missing editors in the Nigerian media space.
It's hard to believe that we have editor's in this country.
RT when you see it.
Hint: it's a URL. pic.twitter.com/eYzmWIdThY
— Benjamindada.com (@DadaBen_) August 16, 2017
Then he realised something:
I myself even made a blunder. Exactly why we need EDITORS! No Editor's.
Lol.
— Benjamindada.com (@DadaBen_) August 16, 2017
They say before you remove the speck in another’s eye…
4. Demola
Which brings us to this friendly banter:
At the bottom of my PHCN bill, it says "Thank you for choosing Ikeja Electric".
The thing is I didn't choose them, I'm forced to have them.
— Demola Olarewaju (@DemolaRewaju) August 16, 2017
???? Demola just go and pay your bill my friend.
— Wale Ozolua (@WaleOzolua) August 16, 2017
SMH, I pay steady. I'll call you that name we used to call you back in secondary school if you don't go away.
(Yes, I still remember it.)
— Demola Olarewaju (@DemolaRewaju) August 16, 2017
Blood of Jesus! Bros please… I'm gone… ????? https://t.co/JnFpGXiVMr
— Wale Ozolua (@WaleOzolua) August 16, 2017
Better… https://t.co/JZ15FIhURk
— Demola Olarewaju (@DemolaRewaju) August 16, 2017
Haha.
5. @XLNB
@XLNB is taking no prisoners with these series of tweets levelled at racists and Americans in general:
"TRUMP IS DESTROYING OUR NATION!!"
"Kinda like your founding fathers destroyed the Native American nations?" pic.twitter.com/RQPonQB7s9
— X (@XLNB) August 16, 2017
GW: "Hey."
Native American: "Hey…"
GW: "I'm going to take your land, kill you all, & my ppl will build a monument thanking me."
NA: pic.twitter.com/cOuDOtMm7V— X (@XLNB) August 16, 2017
Racists: "George Washington was a slave owner! Should we stop praising him too??"
Black People: "Yes."
Racists: "…"
Black Ppl: pic.twitter.com/tBohn6TKlO
— X (@XLNB) August 15, 2017
Shots!
6. Kelechi Okafor
Kelechi is firing off in all directions into the heart of Twitter NG for insulting her because of one of her tweets about rice and spoon.
People who eat rice with a spoon, are really childish.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) June 29, 2017
You know how we are about rice.
See below:
I absolutely hate my tweets making it to Nigerian Twitter.
Every piece of nuance will be detracted and the asinine comments will reign.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 16, 2017
I can be very very petty. Don't let this empowerment higi haga fool you. pic.twitter.com/DBixR50OIn
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 16, 2017
I need your president to take a break from healthcare tourism and come collect you lot from my mentions to be perfectly honest.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 16, 2017
Me looking at Nigerian Twitter right now… pic.twitter.com/dTt49xlXSo
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 16, 2017
Reaction:
I love this, Twitter NG could be draining. You want to ignore, but sometimes u want to show not being petty doesn't mean u don't know how to https://t.co/43URiSyJFy
— ???? ??? (@Olufemiloye) August 16, 2017
7. Donald Trump
One other person who doesn’t have patience for nonsense is President Trump. He’s decided not to wait around for more business moguls to embarrass him further by resigning from the forums Trump created (there’s been a barrage of resignations in recent times), so he has scrapped them altogether.
Rather than putting pressure on the businesspeople of the Manufacturing Council & Strategy & Policy Forum, I am ending both. Thank you all!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 16, 2017
Reactions:
Wise decision @POTUS … https://t.co/SpKHx2KUjh
— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) August 16, 2017
Chicken ? https://t.co/uqv9lV8cho
— idiareno (@id49ja) August 16, 2017
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 16, 2017
If you say so.
8. Feyi Fawehinmi
Back to all that’s good and wonderful. We absolutely love this tweet by Feyi. It’s about the power of paying it forward.
The aphorism goes – Talent is universal, opportunity is not. And sometimes that opportunity is the littlest things. Cost me nothing. And yet pic.twitter.com/ydS9Hl2xEq
— tyro (@DoubleEph) August 16, 2017
God bless you, Mr Fawehinmi.
9. Mallam Battycash
From doing good to love rhymes:
Sometimes I still wonder how a girl like you slid into my DMs and found a lowly guy like me worthy of your everything. @BisiOlabode pic.twitter.com/RXJ2V2bIa7
— Mallam Battycash (@Batarhe) August 16, 2017
Reaction:
Awww…So sweet! ❤? in the air. #Naija guys go and learn from this brother appreciating God's gift to him. https://t.co/KsMqHAVOnG
— HeyLagos! (@heylagos) August 16, 2017
10. Olamide
Finally, Olamide has released the video for his latest single, Wo!
Olamide' wo was shot in Bariga, whoever chose that location deserve a raise
— Ayodeji Ajayi (@AyoJaguda) August 16, 2017
Clearance shot it ??????
— Mr Chardan™ (@iamchardan) August 16, 2017
1000%. The joint is outta here. https://t.co/6YdflANiF2
— T. Rankïn' ∆ (@AfroVII) August 16, 2017
Bonus
We’ll just leave this here:
https://twitter.com/jag_bros/status/897885329033752579
To laugh or to cry, that is the question.
Reformed social media monitoring spirit
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