Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
1 Molara Wood
Child labour remains one of the contentious subjects in Nigeria today. Molara Wood narrates her experience today:
Couple in the restaurant this afternoon, an under-aged girl with a low haircut – obviously the maid, no older than 13 – carried their baby.
— Molara Wood (@molarawood) August 29, 2017
The child-maid carried and humoured and cooed to the baby while the woman and her husband devoured a feast, offering the young maid nothing.
— Molara Wood (@molarawood) August 29, 2017
I left the restaurant with sadness and a sense of frustration, a sick feeling. Some middle class Nigerians are sick.
— Molara Wood (@molarawood) August 29, 2017
Reactions:
Sigh. I think Nigerian Middle and Upper Middle Classes invented this kind of slavery. https://t.co/ddbiUhGgQr
— tolu ogunlesi (@toluogunlesi) August 29, 2017
I see this every time I go to Terra Kulture. Such a shame how the educated elite are so willing to 'other' others.
— tobi amoo (@tobiamoo) August 29, 2017
Ive gone out with friends and their maids to resturants ieHard Rock and the maids always say no to food because they dont want medemede,
— fueksy megs (@fueksy) August 29, 2017
If you saw us you would probably think the same of us but it may not be the case,some wont even drink coke maybe only water
— fueksy megs (@fueksy) August 29, 2017
Is water 'medemede' too? In addition, there are other issues here, chief among them: a child of around13 shouldn't be anybody's maid
— Molara Wood (@molarawood) August 29, 2017
It is not a unique Nigerian malaise. Saw a tweet of a middle eastern couple doing exactly the same thing. There was a picture as well
— RoLa (@rotilaw) August 29, 2017
I never bloody said it was uniquely Nigerian. Please.
— Molara Wood (@molarawood) August 29, 2017
2. Kelechi Okafor
Kelechi Okafor also has much to vent about:
Today's insta story is about how I just had to act up at the gym because I complained about a man's unsolicited comments.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
It's easier to tell me as the woman, to suck it up and not let it ruin my day because not all men are like that.
Fuck you.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
The first time the guy got abusive towards me I didn't name the gym because I want the co-founder, a woman, to prosper.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
I walk her outside and sigh deeply as I walk back to the gym because I know it's time for me to show them Kelechi Olufunmilayo Okafor. pic.twitter.com/tV0E7E8vTS
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
You're talking about all the other women you've hit when they've chatted bad to you but I'm here like… pic.twitter.com/Ey7JBBWq2K
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
I don't care how big you are or how bad you think you are, a jugular vein will always be a jugular vein homie.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
He comes outside because he's aggravated that I'm making my insta videos by his car. LOL. So I make more.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
Then I call the police to report his violent comments. They say they can't do anything because he hasn't touched me. pic.twitter.com/mK7COx57yv
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
So since I've figured the police aren't coming, I decide to be my best self and really misbehave. pic.twitter.com/HX1syNABer
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
I pretend to leave and then wen I saw them open the door of the gym to peek I ran back screaming I'M STILL HERE BITCCCHH!! pic.twitter.com/ffJSYYTZBm
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
Now I'm home. I've tagged the gym on insta because the female co-founder needs to get her gym and get people in check.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
Today's lesson is:
I am not now nor have I ever been the one to play with.
The end.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 29, 2017
Reactions:
The guy said "shout me on your insta!"?!?!?? What kind of disjointed brain activity?!?! The cognitive dissonance is astounding smh
— ???????? (@NatThePhoenix) August 29, 2017
The thing is a lot of those guys are what I call 'selective badmen' you'll hit a girl but can't run your mouth to any of the mandem…
— ???????? (@NatThePhoenix) August 29, 2017
That man making those rude comments to you Kelechi is pure HEARTLESS.
People… they never change.?
— Michael (@mike28771) August 29, 2017
"Not all men are like this" – Seriously?
You can see a man being rude and racist to Kelechi and you decide to care only about yourself.
— Michael (@mike28771) August 29, 2017
This thread is so great – terrible that Kelechi had to go through this, but the response from her is incredible as fuck. https://t.co/ZH9uJrRhhQ
— Spider-Fran ?? (@FranPan) August 29, 2017
Better than Game of Thrones & Power this ??
— Smooth Fuego (@smoothfuego1) August 29, 2017
3. Emily Miller
Houston Texas is caught in the throes of “one of the greatest disasters of America” and Emily shares about the dangers rescuers face and the spirit of community Americans have:
From a friend in Houston: People don’t realize is how dangerous these rescues are because the manhole and drain covers have floated away 1/
— Emily Miller (@EmilyMiller) August 29, 2017
"My husband’s shins were sore & bruised because walking in water, you run into pipes, stumps, step off curbs you don’t know are there" 2/
— Emily Miller (@EmilyMiller) August 29, 2017
"My husband’s shins were sore & bruised because walking in water, you run into pipes, stumps, step off curbs you don’t know are there" 2/
— Emily Miller (@EmilyMiller) August 29, 2017
"Most of these people (including me) don’t have flood insurance because you aren’t required if you live in 100-year flood plain." 3/
— Emily Miller (@EmilyMiller) August 29, 2017
"This flood is an 800 year flood! So, through no fault of anyones, it’s so much worse than what we can handle." 5/
— Emily Miller (@EmilyMiller) August 29, 2017
"The Brazos River is supposed to crest tomorrow or Thursday and cause more flooding. It's at Flood Stage at 45’, expected to rise to 59." 6/
— Emily Miller (@EmilyMiller) August 29, 2017
"Once a new shelter is announced, people rush to get to give. Within 2 hours, they have to turn donations away bc have too much." 7/ Houston
— Emily Miller (@EmilyMiller) August 29, 2017
"My husband took a boat out for more rescues but turned away bc there’s just too many out there. Moving to another neighborhood." 8/ Houston
— Emily Miller (@EmilyMiller) August 29, 2017
4. Joel Osteen
The Pastor of Lakewood Church, one of the mega churches in Houston, Texas where Hurricane Harvey did a number on has kind words for victims of the flood:
Victoria and I care deeply about our fellow Houstonians. Lakewood’s doors are open and we are receiving anyone who needs shelter.
— Joel Osteen (@JoelOsteen) August 29, 2017
God gives us grace for every challenge. Stay strong and know that God has you in the palm of His hand!
— Joel Osteen (@JoelOsteen) August 29, 2017
But this was after Twitter gave him a good thrashing for closing his doors to flood victims.
5. Folakemi
News flash: Bobrisky is now an actress:
Bobrisky is now an actress ?? pic.twitter.com/6UfUi4ixpa
— Sister Folake (@m_folakemi) August 29, 2017
6. Lauretta Onochie
Aunty Lauretta is mad again- so our Presidential bloggers said. If you have to see it to believe it, here’s what’s irking the presidential media aide today. Anybody got panadol?
1. It appears that some of us especially those who are not good or are selective at remembering d past, are also not willing to use Google
— Lauretta Onochie (@Laurestar) August 29, 2017
2. The United Kingdom does not charge foreigners for crimes committed in other countries. They charge them for crimes committed against UK pic.twitter.com/Zvyq7tX24j
— Lauretta Onochie (@Laurestar) August 29, 2017
3.In Ibori's case in d UK, I was in court for d Judgement and the Judge made it clear that his sentence was for crimes committed in d UK
— Lauretta Onochie (@Laurestar) August 29, 2017
4. The Judge added, "It's my hope that when you return to Nigeria, you'll be charged for d crimes you committed against d people of Delta"
— Lauretta Onochie (@Laurestar) August 29, 2017
5. UK will have its pound of Diezani's flesh in form of jail sentence. Thereafter, they may hand her over to the US, Italy and then Nigeria
— Lauretta Onochie (@Laurestar) August 29, 2017
6. Those asking for the extradition of Diezani are very ignorant and did not do their homework at all. That's "mumu-ness" in itself.
— Lauretta Onochie (@Laurestar) August 29, 2017
Reaction
When you wallow in ignorance as a leader despite thinking you’re the smartest person around, your aides tend to be like this one here: pic.twitter.com/no7LCJosyF
— Mr. Aye Dee (@MrAyeDee) August 29, 2017
7. Chuba Ezekwesili
Because everything cannot rotate around Diezani and there are worse things befalling individuals in Nigeria, Chuba Ezekwesili gives an example:
Do not EVER. trust Google Maps in mainland Lagos. Their algorithm cannot comprehend Lagos traffic.
— Chuba Ezekwesili (@ChubaEzeks) August 29, 2017
Reformed social media monitoring spirit
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