Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
Just look at what this one is clapping for?
Why did you cross me ?do you want my children to resemble you ?oya cross me back..
I don't have a problem with this but i want to know who invented this shit? pic.twitter.com/TmyhFFVHgz
— Gold (@vanessahbrooks) November 17, 2018
Can we really trace where all those games came from?
Looking at traffic in Lagos makes you think maybe Thanos had a point.. maybe
— O N O M E?? (@NomzyTwits) November 16, 2018
Brother Onome, so because of traffic you are ‘considering’ what Thanos did?
Please mind yourself biko. Go alone, at least there won’t be traffic wherever it is you are going.
3. Peter Okoye
You might want to read this…
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Part1 Today marks the day I made one of the best decisions of my life, to marry my best friend! A best friend isn’t someone who’s just always there for you. It’s someone who understands you a bit more than you understand yourself and today I’m happy and have no regrets that I married my best friend,the one i laugh with, live for, dream with and love. Most people don’t really know who you are or what you represent. I have seen them insult you, call you all sorts of names.” She’s Yoruba, She’s too Old for you, She’s biracial” Bla bla bla!!! Like I didn’t know all this b4 I married you. They even came up with stories of how our late Mum never liked you but God knows that few weeks before she died you were the one getting up early to go stay with her at St. Nicolas hospital, even keeping her friends and pastors at your place for weeks because we were living on the mainland then. She always called you “My Daughter” RIP Mum?? Your Daughter” and your grand children are doing well Mum???…. Maybe divorcing you to make you a baby mama will make some people happy and me unhappy; sorry that is not our portion.”Tufiakwa” Remember Love sees no color, love has no age limit nor race. But one thing is sure, I am here to protect and defend you from all those insults. I took a vow to defend and protect you and our beautiful children on this day 5 years ago and no matter what happens, you and the kids come first. Maybe thats what makes me different from other guys; you guys are my priority. So let’s cut all that “Blood is thicker than water” BS Obviously you guys are not the water. Let’s not forget that Blood makes u related and Loyalty makes u family. You’ve been through a lot because of me and I know how bad it’s hurts. So please forgive those who insult you, attack you, battle you or take you for granted. More than this…forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you. Continue being the strong woman our daughter Aliona has as a role model and our son Cameron will know and understand what to look for in woman when he’s grown. CONTINUE FROM MY NEXT POST?? Song: ZOMBIE by Mr P ft @symplysimi Song and video: Link on my bio??#ZombieLove
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Part 2 (last) We’ve been together for over 16years and married for 5yrs. You are still the same woman and I will never forget the day I met you. How you used to book shows for us and all due to the fact that you worked in an agency (FKG2). I remember how our former manager Howie-T used to tell us how nice you were to us getting us shows and all. Today the world doesn’t know all that. Instead they call you Gold digger. If anyone should be called Gold digger here, it should be me ? I remembered you gave me your official car few weeks after we moved into lagos and started dating. That was the first time in my life experiencing a car with air conditioning ? and every night i would sleep inside the car.? You made me a better man Lola and i owe you nothing but love and loyalty. Let me stop here because it’s our Wedding Anniversary. No need for too much talk. Happy Wedding Anniversary to us Lola we are so blessed and should be grateful to God for keeping us alive and together; failure is not our portion. Thank you for accepting me as I am flaws & all. Thank you for the greatest gifts, our children. Thank you for helping me (us) through our career; for all the gigs, free consultations etc. Thank you for standing by me regardless of all the untruths spread about you. Thank you for caring for my Mother till her final days, even accommodating her church pastors in your home for weeks. Thank you for being an exceptional role model to our kids and being the best partner for me. I'm thankful for you, you get me, specially made for me till infinity. Oh lest I forget, thank you for my 1st air conditioned experience??…. I love you Madam Kofo (Snr), Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary Babe.? I go be your Zombie for Life? #ZomeLove
4. Alex Ekubo
See personal selling oo!! And of course, something for unpatriotic people.
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Just look at this delicious plate of hot spicy chicken wings, IKUKU the Breeze of Nollywood, cool calm & collected promising young man, Alexx you are talented, you are special, you are gifted, you are loved, you are an amazing human being, you are ridiculously good looking, you are irresistibly attractive, you are God fearing, you are Rich, you are tall, you are a good friend, you are a great lover, you would make a great husband & a fantastic Father, you are destined for greatness, you are funny, you are sweet, you are a whazzup guy, you sabi body, you too gbaski, na Man you be! Alexx continue in the direction you are, soon they would spell your name & surname correctly in Lakotah, Transnistria, Barotseland, Chinland, Abkhazia (i’m sure you didnt know these countries exist in the world, you’re welcome?) Dear Alexx, thank you for being ME. ? . Like this photo? @rukkydidit . Like my shirt? @khali_kulture . Like my Shoes? @313eko . If you don’t patronize #MadeInNigeria products, if when you are out you don’t have at least 2 or more #MadeInNigeria products on you, you are part of the Problem #FixYourself ???
5. Broda Mik
Nigerians and Premature Bangers and Christmas Decorations ? pic.twitter.com/kUEvTYxtgy
— Broda Mik (@skinez8) November 17, 2018
Na you sabi. You can call it ‘pre-season’…
6. Ahmed Musa
To be awarded ?? footballer of the year is a humbling honor. Thanks to my teammates who make me better and everyone who has supported me. This is for you ❤?????? pic.twitter.com/6ZUUiv5KDm
— AhmedMusa718 (@Ahmedmusa718) November 17, 2018
Congrats Musa. Keep it on!
7. Dipo Awojide
2007: We will build roads, provide pipe borne water and electricity.
2011: We will build roads, provide pipe borne water and electricity.
2015: We will build roads, provide pipe borne water and electricity.
2019: We will build roads, provide pipe borne water and electricity.
— Dr. Dípò | The Career? (@OgbeniDipo) November 17, 2018
I was not born then but I think it’s since 1960!
Omoleye Omoruyi… an apprentice web/game developer, novelist, sensitive to happenings in the world. Meet him @Lord_rickie on Twitter/Instagram