Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are even just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Donald Trump

Donald Trump has signed an executive order to keep out radical Islamic terrorists from America. It is titled “Protection Of The Nation From Foreign Terrorist Entry Into The United States.”  That means that for now, America will not be taking in refugees from certain countries around the world.

“The order bars all persons from certain terror-prone countries from entering the United States for 90 days and suspends the US Refugee Admissions Program for 120 days until it is reinstated “only for nationals of countries for whom” members of Trump’s Cabinet deem can be properly vetted.” The countries affected are Iran, Iraq, Syria, Sudan, Libya, Yemen and Somalia.

Here’s the part that will affect Nigerians. Trump’s order cancels the “Visa Interview Waiver Program, which once allowed repeat travellers to the United States to be able to forgo an in-person interview to renew their visa. Under the new order, these travellers will now have to have in-person interviews.”

So no more holiday jaunts to the land of the free.

What can we say, welcome to the era of Trump?

 

2. Iran

Following US President, Donald Trump’s decision to ban immigrants from seven countries, one of those countries has decided to return the favour by banning Americans from its soil. Iran’s foreign ministry has called Trump’s refugee ban “illegal, illogical and contrary to international rules”, and has gone to ban Americans from Iran as well.

 

3. Mark Zuckerberg

Facebook CEO is displeased with Trump’s ban on immigrants from war-torn countries and is reminding the president that America is a country of immigrants, and has issued a statement. “We should also keep our doors open to refugees and those who need help,” Zuckerberg said.

Like Trump is listening to this.

 

4. DSS vs Apostle Suleman

So days ago, the DSS attempted to arrest (some say kidnap) Apostle Suleman, who had warned his congregation to protect themselves from Fulani herdsmen. Apostle was rescued by Fayose. This raised an uproar on Christian Twitter, with people saying stuff like, “touch not my anointed”, and others clamouring for his arrest.

The DSS has now issued a formal invitation to Apostle to show up for interrogation at their office.

We just hope they have also issued an invitation to the members of Miyetti Allah as well. We’d like for both parties to be well represented on Monday. Dasall.

 

5. Missing girls

Veronica Otogo and Bisola Mohammed are missing. According to information available on Twitter, Veronica was celebrating her 24th birthday, so the two of them went to Chloe’s cupcakes in Abuja.   Kindly RT for awareness and keep an eye out, please. These are two human beings. This handle has all the details.  See below too.

Please share, RT, spread the word. Hope they are found safely and well…. ?? pic.twitter.com/RgbCIf6guz

— ? DaddyMo PhD CEng ? (@officialdaddymo) January 28, 2017

https://twitter.com/BellaAlubo/status/825278752485687296

https://twitter.com/preshgaza/status/825329509620645888

We pray for their safe return.

6.  The Kemi Olunloyo instagram drama

It’s difficult to summarise what’s going on here, so see below.

7. Serena Williams

Serena Williams, y’all. This lady is the definition of a machine. She plows through everything in her way until she gets to the top.

Congratulations, Serena, on your 23rd Grand Slam title.

#SerenaWilliams is the greatest athlete to ever live. Fight me.#AusOpen #SerenavsVenus pic.twitter.com/l7jgjrg69l

— Cole Barrett (@nicolasjbarrett) January 28, 2017

These two are amazing. Venus is such a class act. "Your win is always my win," to her little sister. #SerenavsVenus #AustralianOpen

— T.J. Holmes (@tjholmes) January 28, 2017

We will be back on Monday