Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

A young man told me that he removed alcohol and promiscuity from his life but social media rushed in to fill the void and he became a troll. Bigger problem is that he mainly trolls ladies. I’ve just seen his IWD posts. I don’t know if I should tell him to just go back to alcohol.

— Victor Asemota (@asemota) March 8, 2019

Men are what? SCUM.

My sister was scrolling through Instagram this morning and was looking at pictures of fine guys and was like “Guys fine sha, if you dey this house you no go know say person fit fine like this”

I’m in sifia pains???

— Warden of Port Harcourt (@gray_twits) March 8, 2019

“In time you will know what its like to lose. To feel so desperately you are right and yet to fail all the same. Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives.” #NigeriaDecides2019

— dej (@ayodejirotinwa) March 8, 2019

Show off.

Tinubu’s house is like thugville right now. Driving past and all these hood niggas are jeering in my window, catcalling and all sorts and causing major traffic. Ugh. This bloody election season needs to be over. The hell.

— Ozzy Etomi (@ozzyetomi) March 8, 2019

I spent my #InternationalWomenDay2019 with the girls at the correctional center Idi – Araba

Teaching them about sexual consent, unhealthy/ abusive vs healthy relationships and how Social inequality affects relationships.
Day well spent!!! Till next Friday ???

— Lolo Cynthia (@Lolo_cy) March 8, 2019

You are doing the Lord’s work.

If you’re an action movie buff, would you go on a second date with someone who fell asleep thirty minutes into one of the best action flicks ever?

I need to determine whether I’m harsh or not.?

— E k e t i (@eketiette) March 8, 2019

i don’t rate you if you eat eba with fork/spoon.

— suede (@Tyekooon) March 8, 2019

Who cares?