by Ifreke Inyang [@ifreke]
MONDAY: “So it was a long weekend!” was @alexyangs’ first tweet this Monday. Yes, it was. The Nigeria at 50 celebrations started off on Thursday and they were a big deal. According to @writegiftson however, it was time to move on. “Today is a good day to work for your pay,” he tweeted. “You better not be late!” @steve_eko agreed with him. His tweet was: “Divine discontent. That’s d mood for the rest of the year. I know I can achieve more. So help me God.” @sheriphskills had a prayer of his own too. “Dear God, don’t let Air Nigeria show demselves dis morning,” his tweet read. “They shan’t delay my flight in Jesus’ name.” @aiotee’s prayer was already answered. “Thanx everyone! U av all bin helpful. Ur prayers were answered. I found my car!” he announced. @aninoritse was also thankful for good friends. “It is good to av beta padis o.. someone just rang me frm Gidi and asked wat I was doin dis wknd.. he is offering to buy me ticket to Gidi” she tweeted. @medianemesis could definitely do with that kind of friend. She tweeted: “Seriously, dis phone has given me enough headaches,” @medianemesis tweeted. “Who wants to give me another BlackBerry?” On BlackBerry Messenger, folks gisted endlessly about the turn of events in the Big Brother House.
TUESDAY: The talk of friends and friendships still thrived. “I think a large chunk of my pals shud b on twitter. I miss dem all” @freshboiswaggah tweeted. @thepervnerd on his part was getting rid of some friends. “So yesterday I stopped being friends wit one dude,” he said. “He said there’s a lot of money in d fake drugs bizness. For once, I did sumtin right.” Someone who probably didn’t do the right thing was @shakar_el_swaga. He didn’t meet up in time for an appointment. His tweet read: “I overslept and missed a meeting. I think I won’t be able to make it to that meeting. I didn’t sleep last night though.” @kidkonnect was missing something else. “I miss being in a relationship. It is always a good feeling when u can make your partner laugh or smile when they’re having a sad day.” BBM folks were not having a sad day. They indulged themselves in putting up pictures of their feet as their avatar.
WEDNESDAY: “Gosh! You all should stop putting d pic of ur feet on BBM! A lot of u av ugly feet..” @midevodka fired back after having enough of the ‘feet avatars’. Meanwhile, @thepervnerd informed us he would rather put his face than his feet as his new avatar. He was contemplating a new identity change. His tweet was: “Today I’m going to pit up my face as my avatar.. I’m also changing my bio and my handle” @mbachujuliet was on a self-enforced change. “I must drop two sizes down to rock dis true religion n Hudson,” she tweeted. “Abeg, abeg, there is no letting this one go.” @nobsdaslushkid was making suggestions. “There’s nothing morally wrong with sending flowers to yourself at work,” he tweeted. “Just make sure u don’t use ur real names. Self love is priceless.” And what about sending notes to yourself? @sapphirechic can help with the answer to that. “Note to self: This is the last time I’ll ever get involved in d process of buying tickets for any of my father’s trips!” Other tweeps were interested in another sort of rant. The trending topic was #RantsAboutAnts. As usual, they were a lot of witty tweets about it. @damisola08 – “An ant that deals in shipping is called ‘import-ANT’, @atunrase6 – “Where u can find d biggest ant is in d pANT”, @gbengeknosall – “An ant tht u can tell all ur secrets is a confidant”
THURSDAY: @mi_abaga shared some important information with his followers. “So since there will not be an M.I album soon, we are working on releasing all recorded M.I material for M.I 2 album free. Watch out for that.” @_lami also had a declaration of her own. “The trip to Shanghai has been cancelled,” she tweeted. “No shaking. It’s family time this weekend then.” Nollywood actress, Tonto Dikeh, who tweets with the handle @tontolet also had a report of her own.“I’m not on facebook. We just caught two girls who scammed a man wit my name on facebook.” @demiladeR was more interested in twitter and how his statistics were dropping. “Mehn!, dis time last year I use to clock 1,000 tweets per week..” he said.
FRIDAY: The statistic that mattered this week to @rhecks however, was the wedding anniversary of her parents. “Happy wedding anniversary to my parents!” she tweeted. “It’s from your most la-la-land offspring. Love u plenty!” @ivorymalinov who has been down for a while needed tweeps to show her love. “Who would be kind enough to send ice cream to me at home?” she asked. “Not feeling good at all.. I havent been to work all week cos I’m sick.” I hope she got her the ice cream. The trending topic was #FamousLinesInNaijaMovies. @mosallyhits tweeted: “I’ll give u 5million naira… pls leave my son alone”, @iammofame – “Mazi Okoro, u cannot take d land frm a poor widow like me…”, @msjizie – “Nkechi, u knw I love u but I av to go to the city to make plenty money…”, @dotman_dotcom – “The sacrifice must b done within 7 days or else…”
In another seven days, it will be another weekend. And I’ll be doing another roundup. But as we went away for this weekend, @drewbaba has a public serive announcement. It went thus: “A pharmaceutical truck was stolen two days ago. All of the five cartons of viagra is gone. The cops have asked the public to be on the lookout for ‘hardened’ criminals dis wknd.”