by Ifreke Inyang [@ifreke]
[ 17th Jan 2011 – 22nd Jan 2011 ]
MONDAY: “Good morning tweeps. Today, I need all d strength I can muster,” @nzesylva tweeted. @dancecrak didn’t make such prayers. He opted for an easier option. His tweet said that much. “So am suppose 2 wash 2day, I’m feeling so lazy,might jst tk me clothes 2 d drycleaners coz dey r plenty..”. @efizynow wasn’t in the mood to be lazy. “Ok if u dnt see me on twitter b rest assured dat I am out there making money cos dats d only way I can keep my conversations funny..” he told us. @alexanderamosu was also up and about and his efforts were yielding positive results. “Thats how business should be all the time,” he tweeted happily. “Good food, glass of champagne and a signed contract at the end of it!” @ACMilandrew didn’t have such good news yet. He was left frustrated as an agreement hadn’t been reached. “The only thing this loan agreement form is not asking for is my left testicle and the head of my first born.” he tweeted angrily. @PlaybackGenius’s anger was directed towards young people. “I worry for this generation,” he said in his tweet. “Tattooing ur cheeks and arms with Gucci logos. Sagging of skinny jeans. And in ur mind u think ur the sh!t”
TUESDAY: Young people have been driving the #RSVP campaign on twitter however. And they were also practising what they preached. “I just completed my voter’s registration & the entire process took 15 mins 43 seconds excludin waitin time (yes,I timed it).Have U done urs?” @LagosHunter asked. @Ebuka went the extra mile by being generous to the those in charge of registration. His tweet read: “My guy Henry, who’s registering us just asked me for a bottle of Alomo. I granted his request. Don’t judge me…” @aquamarine05 wasn’t on the side of her followers who criticized Wizkid’s new video. “Okay, please what were people expecting in Wizkid’s video?? I actually liked it… the name of the song is ‘Tease Me’ NOT ‘The Lord is Good’!” @Drewbaba didn’t hold back his views about his new school ID though. “The new Unilag identity card is jst dead… Am nt even proud to hold mine.. Damn!!!” he tweeted. @9ja_Whyzkid’s grouse with his school was different. “My school jus sent me an SMS tellin’ me to pay tuition b4 28th…… It’s either they are broke or they r mad!”
WEDNESDAY: For those who endured the stress of the University of Lagos till the end, today was their convocation. “Congratulations to everyone graduating tomorrow…it’s really an achievement to graduate from the University.” @SugarHardCandy tweeted. @TericueNaazz also had some good news for her followers. “My dad’s new car has finally come. Weew! So thats why he flew to Lagos today abi? Hmmmm…” It was all about Lagos today and one of the trending topics was #WelcomeToLagos. @Syrus_blaQue: “#WelcomeToLagos where all ashewo joints get ATM beside em..GOD punish banks for dat strategy”, “@nanrizzle: “#WelcomeToLagos where babes starve to enter red cabs and e-taxis.”, @dedamola: #WelcomeToLagos where u can even buy cow 4 hold up!”, @ThisIsGQ: “#WelcomeToLagos home of the worlds biggest IT Market (Computer Village, Otigba)” Lagos also has some nice beaches and @Prodeegy shared a funny incident that involved his houseboy at one of them. “My houseboi is finally back, after f**king ashewo at kuramo beach 2 days ago. He cldnt pay her,so she seized his fone! We tank God sha!”. His follow up tweet was even more hilarious. “Wen I called his fone, the ashewo picked up, I asked, how much is he owing u? She said 6k. I screamed, na so ur thing sweet reach? O_O”
THURSDAY: @ollylicious’ meal was so good that she split it. “I’m thankful for d 1kg a steakhouseburger meal (regular) added to me,” she tweeted happily. “I split it in half btw..kmt..it reminded me y I hvnt touchd baking in months!” @Iceprincezamani wasn’t happy with people who allegedly leaked an unofficial video of his massively popular song, Oleku. His tweet was:”To that person that leaked the first cut without me and my label or my directors permission, God dey see you…” Leaks and piracy still remains the bane of the Nigerian Music Industry, but the trending topic today was #NigerianChatUpLines. @qafro: “#NigerianChatUpLines There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.”, @MrTeemee: “#NigerianChatUpLines Sista, the Lord revealed to me….”, @alrhemist: “#NigerianChatUpLines Nne, I’m new in this village, can I have directions to your house?”, @lumidizzle: “#NigerianChatUpLines “You too dey form!!! Shooooo!!! No do me like this..”, @DammyDiva: “#NigerianChatUpLines Oh baybe, wats ur binomial nomenclature? U r a rare specie…”
FRIDAY: @iamYugoMcKing achieved a feat that many will argue is not rare. “I hv watched like a 100 different movies and series This week,” he boasted in his tweet “It made me forget Twitter And BBM!” On the contrary, @Shishio_Faizzy who was very much active on her BBM confessed she didn’t get to talk to all of them regularly. “I got over 100 bbm contacts and I only talk regularly to like 12 or so of them, but deleting will be just rude..” @ClassicNerd was rude in his tweet directed at some girl who he tried to woo on facebook. “Dis babe on fb neva returnd any of my msgz now shes sendin me hapi bday??.. make she parkwell jor.. mtshew.. yeye girl!” he tweeted furiously. @_Lami wasn’t interested in parking well but the condition of the roads she took. Her tweet was: “Good Lord…Pls…inspire,equip and harrass LCC to complete this work in Lekki…It’s begining to feel like groundhog day…this frustration!” @SultryDhiolar’s mobile phone was the cause of her frustration. “I want a telephone o.. not dis portable PC called N900 dt can not download anythng meant for mpbile phnes. :(”
SATURDAY: @busy_brain faced a long wait to download. “4shared if u dnt want to share jst say it, WTF is 390seconds?!” @Lagoshunter could not even make use of his PC for anything. “I’m the only person I know who doesn’t carry his laptop powerpack arnd,” he tweeted sadly. “Laptop battery is now flat & my powerpack dey office.*now slapping self*” While these two tried to look for solutions to their systems, other tweeps were glued to their EPL watching the latest instalment of the EPL. The two major clubs that played this afternoon won their respective games. “This was a very good display from Manchester United :)” @blazeotokpa declared. @iamillskillz didn’t agree with that. “ManU just had to ruin what could have been a glorious day with Berbatov’s lousy hat-trick!” he fumed. While fans and ‘bad belles’ tweeted about the games, others indulged in the trending topic, #5WordsAfterSex. @divadollarbaby: “#5WordsAfterSex Ur friend Obinna is better!”, @Bigbizzy001: “#5WordsAfterSex I forgot the condom inside..”, @cutenaija:#5WordsAfterSex”i don’t wanna cuddle LEAVE!!!!!”, @swagglordd: “#5WordsAfterSex 76 more rounds to go..”, @LOVEbein_Taylor: “#5WordsAfterSex This won’t happen ever again!”, @bibi_naa: “#5WordsAfterSex Same time and place tomorrow”
Er, the roundup will be back next week tweeps!
Gbagaun of the Week: Have your pick!
@swag_emperror: I’m so fluented in english
@Papa_neezy: i need to listening to some Beautiful Nubia songs
@dee_syndicate: @KaphoneMcLuving u’ll started again wit ur wahala
@kakaplc: So u saws my bb status and run to twitter to write down?
@David_omomia: Who is this dirty player trying to injury my captain?*sigh*
@duchessmoi I’ve has water in my ear since morning and now my ear aches. *sobbing*
@bukas4luv: Am not drinker, if i drank, u wud have HEAR the odour
@BerdyDanielRadc: I’m sorrow for my friend ’cause him father is death
@IamroteSki: PHCN is didn’t allow me tweet since morning.
@sayooor: I want 2 drunk cofeee!! Where is my mum!
Tweet of the Week: @toluogunlesi – “Atiku should take heart. The PDP may not want him, but apparently the FBI does. Always go where you’re wanted, not tolerated…”
Recommended: If you are one tweep that is in love with nice avatars, look no further than @vivisleek. Follow her and get to see some of the hottest avatars!
Quote my Tweet: @cobhamsasuquo – “I’m still in the hunt for followers. I’m waaaaaaay off 10,000 but once I get there, I’m uploading a song str8 away!!”
Retweet of the week: @bleezers asked in his tweet, “Pls, recommend an antivirus for me abeg! My BB is acting up o!”. @kkdonjay retweeted and said, “Try Alomo for BB!”
Seriously tweeting: @streetlife – “My mum was telling me 2 hurry up in d bathroom as i had been in d shower for over an hour. Apparently “i’m coming” isnt d correct term 2 use..”
Rant of the Week: @Tyvn – “Dis man using d ATM is a complete il·lit·er·ate!!! Insufficient funds and u still dey punch d machine…. U wan spoil am?!”