by Kolapo Olapoju

1. Buhari: ‘I am fine’. PDP: ‘No Sir, you’re sick’.

Muhammadu Buhari insists he is fine and healthy… but PDP is adamant that the man is ill.

Yet again, the Peoples Democratic Party, (PDP), has called on Muhammadu Buhari, the presidential candidate of the All Progressives Congress, (APC), to clear the air on issues surrounding his health.

2. Nothing progressive about APC government.

Jimi Agbaje says he would implement the meager 18,000 minimum wage for civil servants… if elected.

The PDP man also trashed-talk the APC, saying: “For me, I am not saying that the Fashola government or the ruling party has not done well in the last 16 years, but we cannot say that in the last eight years, that what we have is a progressive government in power.”

3. Well fed corp members cannot rig elections.

Fellow Nigerians, if at all election rigging takes place, blame anyone else but corp members… because they are well catered for, and therefore, have no reason to be compromised.

According to the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) Coordinator of the NYSC, Mr Olanipekun Alao, rigging cannot be traced to corps members participating in the election, because they were being properly taken care of.

4. Our key witness is dead.

Unfortunately for the PDP, its main witness in the allegations of impropriety against Muhammadu Buhari, is dead.

The Peoples Democratic Party’s Presidential Campaign Organisation has said the witness who could have nailed the presidential candidate of the All Progressives Congress, Gen. Muhammadu Buhari (retd.), on his activities as the head of the Petroleum Trust Fund is dead.

5. Elections or not, I’ve got a concert.

Basketmouth had invested a lot of money into his show… and then INEC went ahead to fix election on Valentine’s day.

The comedian has stated clearly again that his London show has nothing to do with lack of respect for his civic duties as a Nigerian. Apparently, his UK Valentine’s Day show will still hold despite the Presidential election in Nigeria fixed for the same day.

6. Clerics using religion to divide Nigerians.

The APC, has left the president for a minute, to attack supposed ‘men of God’, who are using religion to create division.

The All Progressives Congress has warned religious leaders across Nigeria against using religion as a tool to divide the masses. “Those who will use religion to divide the citizens for political reasons are not men of God, whether they are Christians or Muslims. They are agents of darkness and posterity will not be kind to them.”

7. 400,000 barrels: Jonathan’s daily loot.
According to Asiwaju Bola Tinubu, the president and his goons steal 400,000 barrels of crude oil… every blessed day.

“Jonathan and his government are stealing 400,000 barrels of crude oil every day in Nigeria. He is telling us that he cannot see that amount of crude oil being stolen in the system, yet he calls himself the President. He is running a government of thieves and we will use our votes to send him away. He is taking away all our wealth.”