We present, the worst of the pile. Only films that scored a cinema release were considered for this list.
In the era of #TimesUp and #MeToo, writing a powerful female anti-heroine is all very welcome but Date Night soon gets muddled up in its sexual politics, leading to plot holes, questionable decisions and godawful clichés. The writing isn’t nearly as smart as it thinks it is and sitting through the film makes for plenty of exasperating moments. The twists are pretty embarrassing, the story is a bore and the actors are never believable in their roles. By the time it arrives at its overdue ending, only shrugs are elicited.
New Money is a jumble of noisy scenes, clanging and screeching loudly with overemoting actors doing their best to frustrate audiences. Then there is the extra-judicious use of pop music. Simisola, the debut album by pop star suffers the most as director Tope Oshin hides under its umbrella to cover a lot of her deficiencies. And they are a lot. The picture is pretty, actors even more so, but all that brightness does not even attempt to cover up the screenplay’s paucity of depth. The result is the film’s underwhelming ending.
The Ghost and the Tout
Ranting about all of the ways that The Ghost and the Tout does not hold up as a proper film would be redundant. It would be all too insincere too, as by this time, those who pay money- this reviewer to see a film produced by and starring Toyin Abraham know exactly what to expect. Hint: Not much. Truth be told, there is hardly anything to write home about The Ghost and the Tout.
The Vendor doesn’t have a credible plot going for it. It instead relies on the physical presence of its star, Odunlade Adekola and the bulk of the film’s running time has Adekola moving from one clumsy set up to the other in a desperate search for laughs. Initially it seems like this isn’t going to work as the first thirty minutes of the overlong film is bound to test even the most excited of fans, what with the sluggishness and unsuccessful attempts at humor.
Mummy Dearest: The Wedding
Mummy Dearest: The Wedding is for the bulk of its running time, a rehash of tropes already explored in the first chapter of the franchise, nothing new to see. The characters haven’t grown significantly, thus their actions are only recycled and played for cheap laughs. The major attraction is the chemistry between Liz Ameye and Daniel K. Daniel but even that is stretched beyond limits. The plot is paper thin, and audiences are expected to reach back to the first film to dig up some residual connection with characters who don’t work for such a reward.
The Blind Spot
The Blind Spot is a difficult sell. The writing credited to Igunwe Alfred Otaniyuwa sucks, so does the acting, especially from the supporting team. The pace is all wrong and the director seems like he is in over his head, juggling multiple genres all at once. Sometimes The Blind Spot tries to be funny- doesn’t always succeed- other times it dials up the drama, adding elements of suspense to sweeten the mix. None of it works at all. This makes one wonder why anyone bothered with the project.
What Just Happened!
We are all for actresses who are facing a paucity of film roles, taking the plunge to produce their own films. But when the products of these enterprises come out looking like What Just Happened!, Ufuoma McDermott’s latest vanity pageant- her directing debut, last year’s Christmas is Coming was just as bad- then maybe it is time to rethink that strategy. Directed by Charles Uwagbai, What Just Happened! Is an unfunny, derivate, uninteresting waste of time.
Memoirs of 4
Memoirs of 4, an exploration of female friendships amongst adult Nigerian women is certainly shot like a television project. The overreliance on dialogue, reluctance to get to the point and the multiple points of view stretch the film way beyond its welcome. It runs for a little over two hours but still feels like a lifetime. There is nothing new to see here.
The Bridal Shower
There is almost nothing good to report on this egregious piece of non-cinema. From the ugly poster to the non-existent writing and total lack of talent associated with the film both in front of the screen and behind. Billed as a horror film- obviously a sick joke, The Bridal Shower is what happens when people with no expertise convince themselves of the validity of their dreams and get together to make a film project unsupervised. It is still a wonder how this one got any kind of distribution deal. *Shudders*
Disguise is so erratic, it is hard to place what it exactly wants to achieve. It jumps up and down unremarkably like a yo-yo, moving from comedy to drama and then to faux reality tv. None of it works. The film requires superhuman levels of patience to be able to get through, all the way to the convoluted, senseless, not to mention, boring ending. The only thing genuinely decent about the film is Onilogbo Hakeem’s fetching make up work.
The writer tweets from @drwill20
Wilfred Okiche is a medic, reader, writer, journalist, culture critic, and occasional ruffler of feathers. One of the most influential critics working in the Nigerian culture space, his writing has appeared extensively in platforms like YNaija.com and 360nobs.com. Okiche has provided editorial assistance to the UK Guardian and has had his work published in African Arguments, Africa is a Country and South Africa’s City Press. He has received trainings and acquired experience in multimedia and online journalism. He also appears on the culture television show, Africana Literati. He has participated at critic programs in Lagos, Durban and Rotterdam.