by Eresuyi Eguae
Let me say from the start that a lot of people will have an issue with the idea behind this piece because it suggests strict adherence to certain rules and imposes discipline on young people (which is our greatest fear). We have somehow picked up on living life to the fullest; living everyday like it’s your last. People die everyday, some people didn’t live to see 2011, you’re lucky to be alive. Who’s to say you’ll live beyond tomorrow? Plus you’re only young once right? These are some justifications we give for the actions we take these days, particularly when it comes to the all-too-sensitive topic of relationships.
As the title suggests I believe there is and should be only ONE person for you. By this I mean your entire life, you should have had only ONE girlfriend, if you have intentions of getting married/settling down, that is. Before you write me off as crazy, hear me out on the ideas behind this (foolish?) conclusion that I’ve arrived at.
Millions of people have tried before you and failed, so what makes your story any different? Are all of us meant to go through life ‘testing the waters’ and wondering: ‘Is she the one? what if I am wrong? I like both of them; who do I choose?’ I have news for you. Contrary to what you may have heard life is not random, and things don’t just happen. Life is deliberate and apt, brick by brick each piece is laid to bring you to an end. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in the existence of a supreme being or not, look out your window and tell me that’s coincidence.
My entire life I’ve been in just one relationship. I’m in my early twenties so you could say I’m not that old, but I’ve made a deliberate decision not to go around ‘breaking hearts’ or allowing mine to be shattered. The way young people go about doing things these days can be likened to lunacy if you ask me. What is the essence of a relationship? For some it is ‘Licence to Knack’, for others they are trying to fill a void, and for others any other state is simply abnormal.
I repeat, there should be only ONE reason for starting a relationship, and that’s with the intent of marriage. All other reasons (though you may not agree) are selfish – they’re about you, what you want and how you want it. Who’s going to call you 10times daily? Who’s going to pay for your BIS? Who do you run to when you are horny? Who would you hold on cold nights?
Western culture has fed us doodle about the process of finding a partner. The truth is that it takes years to truly know a person. Choosing to be with someone after dating her for two weeks is picking a loaded gun and taking random shots at your head. Our emotions do not help matters and this usually is what blinds us to reality and urges us to ‘follow our heart’. If only you would speak to that heart and say ‘slow down, I don’t know her that well. Let’s stretch the friendship period a tad bit longer’. What if she’s taken by the time I’m ready? Then it wasn’t meant to be.
How about the whole ‘friend zone’ debacle? The truth about that is that you can only truly settle down and be happy with your friend; the one that has seen you without makeup, held you when you cried, knows your dirty secrets, has given and taken your advice and shared years of experiences with.
What I’m saying, in essence, is wait for the ONE. When she comes you will know from within. It wont be a case of ‘what ifs’ or guess work because it would all have been. In the meantime being what should you do with those hormones? You tell me.
Phot credit: myspace.com