by Lillian Nnedinso

I never knew that I will someday tell this as a story. The thought of ending it all was what filled my mind. Felt like strangling myself, like drinking ota pia pia (rat poison) so that I will go and rest. Mama, God will continue to bless you. Men can never be trusted! I cursed the day I met him. I have made a whole lots of mistakes and trusting him was the worst of it all. He made me talk of the town, those am better than mocked me because of him. This is one of the reasons ladies do unthinkable to men. Why me? Why me?? I questioned God… Emmanuel has killed me!

I am Nnedinso Lilian, from Enugu state. This is my true life story:
I came from a poor family and I happened to be the second child.
I got admission into one the university in my state just like every other persons in the school to study pub. Admn. Throughout my first year, I never had time for other things if not my study. It continued until I met a girl friend whom I thought she was an angel but turned out to be a wolf in sheep clothing. This girl practically made me forgot my purpose in the school. There is a saying in my place that says that its what the rat eats that is used in trapping it.

Apart from minding my studies, I loved going to the church to talk to God. And this is what my girlfriend used in trapping me. She started following me to the church to pray with me unknown to me that she was agent from below sent to win souls. I trusted her, confides in her but lured me into what I never thought of. Throughout our friendship, I noticed that there was about three boys that seemed very close to her. I once jokingly asked her “you have gotten a boyfriend and you didn’t deem it worthy to gist me”? But she replied me that she hasn’t gotten any. That she would like to talk to me later. And I obliged.

So she later visited me and told me that those boys I normally see around her had been tormenting her. As curious as I was, I asked her why? If you don’t like any of them, you have every right to say no… But she smiled and told me that it’s not her but me. I know its normal in the university where girls are been chiked by boys. So she told me that those boys had been asking her to hook them up with me. But blatantly refused. She kept preaching to me over the issue until the day I went to the church as usual with her and she succeed in introducing me to one of her male friends who was in his final year. I never know it was a strategy to trap me down. I discovered that this boy seemed devoted to his faith and gradual. My girlfriend kept preaching me to accept the boy. That he was very churchious, that he can’t hurt a fly. She continued until I finally gave in to his request i.e to be his girlfriend.

From there I developed true love towards him. He pretended to love me as well. He promised me Eldorado just to smell the scent of my panties.

I finally succumbed to him. It seemed like a perfect relationship. He graduated when I was in third year. So, he left for his NYSC. We often visited each other. Thought he loved me!
This kept on until the day I missed my period. I had to tell him what I have been going through and seemed so happy to the news. I expected his calls to asked me what next to do but never called. When I called, he gave me some flimsy excuses. I waited for him to come home as promised but didn’t even see his shadow. It continued until his number became unreachable. I thought I was dreaming but it dawned to me when everybody in the school started asking me ridiculous questions; even my supposed best best girlfriend didn’t help the matter.

I went home and I confided in my elder sister who told my parents everything. They almost lynched me. I expected their reaction. I saw myself as a child of disappointment. That was when I knew that utterances made when angry are equivalent to raw acid. I became talk of the town. This is the certificate I brought to my parents! Some friends of mine told me to terminate the pregnancy so that my family and I would not be put to shame.

I was tempted to do that but my mama and my elder sister intervened on time. My mama came to me gave me words of encouragement and warned me to eradicate the thoughts of how to get rid of the pregnancy. My sister also advised me to keep the pregnancy cos I don’t know what the child would be in future. She gave the names of prominent single ladies who are proud of themselves. I remembered that she made mention of people like Genevieve Nnaji among others.

She told me that some had made similar mistake and there are people that would make the same mistake in the future. She told me to pick the necessary lessons from my mistake and carry on with life. I told her that I don’t know  how I am going to overcome it all. She advice me to not to think of what people would say about me. That I should go back to school and never to lock myself up in a room. She told me that those mocking at me had once or twice committed bigger sins ranging from abortion and others. So I later went back to school and did as I was advice. To my greatest surprised, the supposed best friend of mine gave me a wide gap simply because I refused to abort the pregnancy. But I didn’t give a damn. Those advice from my mama and my sister helped me a lot. My mama timed the week that I will go into labour.

Prior to that week, she called me to come home which I did. On the 6/7/2011, the mockery I went through became a thing of joy. I gave birth to a charming baby girl. It always gives me joy seeing her smiling to me. All thanks to God Almighty and my mama. I pray to grow old with my mama. She’s indeed a real mother. After the betrayal, I hated men. But God sent me a consoler, comforter and everything. After the rain, comes the sun. A patience dog eats the fattest bone. I’m happily married with a year old boy. It was so difficult to me during the time of the pregnancy.

Our girls should always look before they leap. And not all that glitter are gold. Men are deceptive as serpent. Ladies make the mistake of trapping  men with pregnancy. It doesn’t work. Men are naturally players.

There was nothing I didn’t think of the time he betrayed me. I even tried to solve it diabolically, tried hiring bad boy to go after him but thank God I didn’t try any. All news you read almost all the time like wives butchering their husbands, pouring their husbands hot water or acid are because of men unresponsive way of life. Some families are facing some challenges and mostly are after effects of reckless live the man or woman lived during their youthful age. Some boys have broke the hearts of some girls and they don’t think that God created the world with words. Had it been cursed the boy that betrayed, won’t take it serious until he get married and begin to face different challenges he will be attributing to witch craft and so on.

Even if I’m to die today, I have achieved a great thing.

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This entry was submitted as part of the Nigerian Voices competition organized by YNaija.com.

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