10 cliches Christians need to stop using

by Christian Piatt

BlackManatChurch

It’s not that we should never invite people to church, but too much of the time, it’s the first thing we do when we encounter someone new.

We Christians have a remarkable talent for sticking our feet in our mouths. When searching the words most commonly associated with “Christian,” the list ain’t pretty. I think part of this can be attributed to a handful of phrases that, if stricken from our vocabulary, might make us a little more tolerable. Yes, these things may mean something to you, but trust me, non-Christians don’t share your love for these tried-and-true cliches.

So in no particular order, here are ten phrases Christians should lose with a quickness:

  1. “Everything happens for a reason.” I’ve heard this said more times than I care to. I’m not sure where it came from either, but it’s definitely not in the Bible. The closest thing I can come up with is “To everything, there is a season,” but that’s not exactly the same. The fact is that faith, by definition, is not reasonable. If it could be empirically verified with facts or by using the scientific method, it wouldn’t be faith. It would be a theory. Also, consider how such a pithy phrase sounds to someone who was raped. Do you really mean to tell them there’s a reason that happened? Better to be quiet, listen and if appropriate, mourn alongside them. But don’t dismiss grief or tragedy with such a meaningless phrase.
  2. “If you died today, do you know where you’d spend the rest of eternity?” No, I don’t, and neither do you. So stop asking such a presumptuous question as this that implies you have some insider knowledge that the rest of us don’t. And seriously, if your faith is entirely founded upon the notion of eternal fire insurance, you’re not sharing testimony; you’re peddling propaganda.
  3. “He/she is in a better place.” This may or may not be true. Again, we have no real way of knowing. We may believe it, but to speak with such authority about something we don’t actually know is arrogant. Plus, focusing on the passing of a loved one minimizes the grief of the people they left behind.
  4. “Can I share a little bit about my faith with you?” Too often, Christians presume we have something everyone else needs, without even knowing them first. Ask someone about their story, but maybe not the second you meet them. Christian evangelism often is the equivalent of a randy young teenager trying to get in good with his new girlfriend. When your personal agenda is more important than the humanity of the person you’re talking to, most people can sense the opportunism from a mile a way.
  5. “You should come to church with me on Sunday.” It’s not that we should never invite people to church, but too much of the time, it’s the first thing we do when we encounter someone new. My wife, Amy, and I started a new church eight years ago, founded on the principle of “earning the right to invite.” Invest in people first. Listen to their stories. Learn their passions, their longings, and share the same about yourself. Then, after you’ve actually invested in each other, try suggesting something not related to church to help you connect on a spiritual level. If the person really gets to know you and wants to know more about why you live your life the way you do, they’ll make a point to find out. Then again, if you come off as just another opinionated, opportunistic Christian, why should they honor your predatory approach with a visit to the church that taught you how to act that way in the first place?
  6. “Have you asked Jesus into your heart?” As many times as I’ve heard this, I still don’t really know what it means. why my heart? Why not my liver or kidneys? This also makes Christianity sound like a purely emotional experience, rather than a lifelong practice that can never entirely be realized. But yeah, asking someone if they’re engaged in a lifelong discipline to orient their lives toward Christlike compassion, love and mercy doesn’t exactly have the same ring to it.
  7. “Do you accept Jesus as your personal lord and savior?” Again, this is not in the Bible. Anywhere. And for me, it goes against the whole Christlike notion of the suffering servant. People tried to elevate Jesus to the status of Lord, but he rejected it. So why do we keep trying? Plus, the whole idea of a lord is so antiquated, it has no real relevance to our lives today. Be more mindful of your words, and really mean what you say.
  8. “This could be the end of days.” This is one of my favorites. We Christians love to look for signs of the end of the world; we practically have an apocalyptic fetish. It’s like we can’t wait until everything comes to a smoldering halt so we can stand tall with that “I told you so” look on our faces, while the nonbelievers beg for mercy. Yeah, that sounds like an awesome religion you’ve got going there. Sign me up!
  9. “Jesus died for your sins.” I know, this is an all-time Christian favorite. But even if you buy into the concept of substitutionary atonement (the idea that God set Jesus up as a sacrifice to make good for all the bad stuff we’ve done), this is a abysmal way to introduce your faith to someone. I didn’t ask Jesus to die for me, and if I’m not a Christian, I really have no concept of how that could possibly be a good thing. he whole idea of being washed clean by an innocent man’s blood is enough to give any person nightmares, let alone lead them into a deeper conversation about what Christianity is about.
  10. “Will all our visitors please stand?” If someone finally is brave enough to walk through the doors of your church, the last thing they want is to be singled out. They probably don’t know the songs you’re singing or the prayers or responsive readings you’re reading. Depending on the translation of the Bible you use, the scripture may not make much sense, and they probably have no idea where the bathroom is. So why add to the discomfort by making them stand so everyone can stare at them? Also, calling someone a visitor already implies they are simply passing through, that they’re not a part of things. Instead of “visitor” or “guest,” try something less loaded like “newcomer.” Better yet, walk up to them, introduce yourself and learn their name.

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Read this article in Patheos

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Comments (19)

  1. I really appreciated what the author has to say here. As someone who works in a church, I have seen these phrases used over and over again without any theological depth as either shibboleths or as a way of avoiding a difficult person or situation.

    Perhaps most tellingly, 95% of these phrases do not appear in the Bible. Sometimes they are combinations or interpretations, but they are not Scripture, so there is no doubt they should be tested and scrutinized every so often. The real problem with most of them is that they are half-truths, which can be the most damaging lies. The Bible is very nuanced and balanced, and one human tendency tends to be contrasted with another to arrive at a divine tension. These phrases leave that out with a theological violence that warps our spirituality, indeed our relationship with God.

    It would be fun to go through my reasons on each of these, but 9 I feel is most important to address. Penal or Substitutionary atonement is relatively new in the theological world, only about 600 years old (1000 if you go back to Anselm, but his theory is actually different than the current one). There are many other ways the Bible uses to describe what Jesus accomplished on the Cross, to give a more full and complete picture of God’s action in the Incarnation. Focusing on just this one description, that is Scriptural but not the only Scriptural description, warps our theology, our churches, and our relationship with God. That is why it is important to name – it is a half truth, all the more powerful for the truth that is in it. Check out http://www.amazon.com/Recovering-Scandal-Cross-Atonement-Contemporary/dp/0830815716 (Recovering the Scandal of the Cross, Green) for a really great breakdown of other, older understandings of the work of Jesus as Savior.

    Bolo, you name-called (“but I say to you, if you call your brother a fool” Mt 5:22) and boasted about being superior. But at least you offered some reasons for your venom, most of the people in this chain just called names and booked. “You will know them by their fruits.”

  2. This is pathetic. Maybe you're a sunday christian Chris Piatt. or a "christian" or CINO – christian in name only. or better yet, lower-case christian.

    You must be one of those Joel Osteen type – christ is love, love and peace, christ wants you to be happy. so be happy and done worry! the sun will always come out and it cant rain every day.

    Seriously. If you ACTUALLY know Christ, know the Word, and have the Holy Ghost, you would not dare speak such things, much less put it in print.

    “Everything happens for a reason.” – yes it does moron. it is written. in the Word. No not those exact words, but it quite established that all things happen and for a reason, and for those who are God's all things happen and word for the good. No "everything happens for a reason" is not explicitly written, but it is the establishment that a Christian understands with both submission to Christ and with maturity.

    If you do not believe this above, then you are not christian. And yes, I WILL call you out on it. You apostate. You double minded. You heathen. You satanic fifth column.

    Jesus DID die for our sins. He's called the lamb of God for a reason. He was the spring lamb, the sacrifice whose blood over us was like the blood of the spring lamb that marked each house to be passed over from the final plague. If you do not understand that, you do not belong to God.

    Repent and ask Jesus to be your lord and savior. Once you understand the above, then you understand why you need to repent.

    OH – Chris, I understand you think you're too smart. You're not. I can guarantee that I am personally smarter than you. Just on a carnal level. And superior to you as a human in every way.

    But there are smarter people than even me – people who've done more than my own life and most certainly yours. And they submit to Christ. You however, have no submission to Him. That's why you do not understand these so called "cliches".

    Here's another "cliche" for you – "wide is the gate…that leads to destruction" – you who do not submit to Christ and lean on your own understanding, you are headed to destruction. And that path is wide and very inviting.

    1. Bolo, while I agree with you on some of your points I totally disagree with your attitude and hostility. The "Everything happens for a reason", does not in fact come from The Bible, but from organized religion. Read The Bible for yourself, don't let someone else tell you what it says(That is in the Bible) your judgment of this person also goes against what is written in The word. remember "Judge not least you be Judged" which in the context of that means to not judge others without expecting to be judged yourself by the same standards that you used. Are you ready for that kind of judgments? As for "Inviting Jesus into your heart and make Him Lord" that actually is different than what He Himself said, HE said that HE walks with us as a friend that is closer than a brother, HE created us as unique individuals, to make up our own minds and to live life with the ability to choose how to live, and as a brother HE will answer our questions and give us the needed answers when we ask Him, He will also carry us occasionally when we absolutely need Him too, very much as a good close friend will do. Earlier I pointed out to you Judging, yes I am ok with you turning what I just stated to you into a judgment, and yes I am willing to be judged by the same standards that I have used here. My question is simply are you willing to put away your self righteousness and hear the truth?

  3. I myself am a Christian and I totally agree with what he has to say. Even I get annoyed with these phrases and think exactly what he is thinking. You have to also look on who you are saying these things to. Atheists and other religions will roll their eyes at you. Sometimes what we think we say might help someone, when in reality just makes them annoyed and bitter towards Christians. Also if you want people to really take an interest in what you have to say against an article, use correct spelling and English.

  4. The writer has lost his mind, He is pointless, so lame!

  5. Simply put, I think this is just a warped view. May be if the writer tried to look at these statements from a Christian's point of view, I believe they would make more sense. Or if the writer has better ideas, I would suggest that he/she puts it up. You have succeeded in pointing out the 'cliches', so where are your better versions?

  6. I really don't think the writer is a christian. If he ever was, then he has lost his faith. He only needs to be pitied and pray that he be restored in faith.

  7. I do not blame the writer of this,because it is simply obvious that he has no grip whatsoever with what true,old-time Christianity stands for and holds. The fact that most of those cliches as he calls them may not have been stated verbatim in the Bible does noy say they are not meant by implication. For example are you saying that Jesus Christ is not Lord? When he is referred to al almighty, and Lord Jesus Christ time and again in the Bible? So the person should take him as his classmate abi? The person who wrote this will claim he attends a church,too! These are the people who by too much sophistication and philosophy take the effect and punch away from the truth of Gods word that it becomes ineffective to save the sinner. Imagine somebody sneering at someone who loves u enuff to remind u that certain occurences are signs of the end. The fact that u accept it or not does not remove an inch from its veracity, and exactness I can go on and on on all these ‘cliches’. I agree that some pipo can be overzealous at times,but come on! Not to this level naaa!

  8. My entire regard to u all, i am using dis great privilage to say a very big thank u to u all. I love U.

  9. I totally disagree too. Everyone has a right to his or her own choice of phrase, word and sentence. Whether it’s right or wrong it is none of the writer’s business…plus is the writer God? Rubbish

  10. This is one of the lamest articles I have read in a long while. Gosh! Disgusting.

  11. Can this person just stop this kind of write-ups and try and acquire good-knowledge before you post. its an advise to mind it.

  12. Totaly disagree! Pls can dis writer stop readingg unnecessary meanings into harmless everyday phrases?

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