by Cheta Nwanze

 In the same year, we managed to generate just 1.2 million jobs, down from 1.6 million the year before, with 54% of these “jobs” created in the informal sector! Informal sector, for the sake of clarity, is that sector that works in Alaba.

Today, in this, err geographical expression, is Children’s Day. A festival that ostensibly celebrates our kids. The question though, is are our kids worth celebrating? Or let’s put it another way, have we given our kids anything to celebrate? As we speak, 200+ of their number have been missing for at least 1056 hours, spirited away by mean men in the dead of night. Yesterday, our Big Khaki announced that he knows where the girls are, an announcement which in normal climes will be taken with elation but for two small factoids: first, our khakis have form in telling us enhanced truths; second, well, this tweet from CNN’s Errol Barnett directly contradicts any tale about locating the Chibok babes. So, once again, what is there to celebrate?

It’s certainly not their prospects after leaving school, if they ever leave school. Let’s forget about the obvious elephant in the room regarding the quality of education that we actually give our kids, what is even worse is the fact that when they come out of school, they on average, have nothing to look forward to. Now consider this: in 2013, most of our higher education students had a nice, long holiday. That holiday meant that a good number of them failed to graduate. Yet, this, err geographical expression, still managed to produce over a million graduates in that year. In the same year, we managed to generate just 1.2 million jobs, down from 1.6 million the year before, with 54% of these “jobs” created in the informal sector! Informal sector, for the sake of clarity, is that sector that works in Alaba. In other words, this, err geographical expression’s formal, tax-paying, health insurance issuing, economy, generated only 648k jobs in 2013!

What this can only mean is that more of the kids will veer towards politics, especially with the pensions on offer. Akwa Ibom High Chief, Godswill Akpabio, has ensured that his grand children will have a comfortable life as a pliant state assembly acceded to his request for a bumper reward for eight years of undue suffering. What can I say? It must be God’s will.

Bits and Bobs
In what was probably the most important event yesterday, some wig has asked the Prez to stop getting involved in money matters concerning wigs.
Whether that request will be obeyed is another matter. But I’m almost certain that some wig’s rejection of fine girl’s request for an eternal injunction will turn to acceptance in a bit.

Depending on who you are, and whom you offend, your #NEPA tariff is about to go up, or down. Expect a run on areas with reduced tariffs.
Finally, Baba Eagles have all lumbered into camp in a manner that belies their geriatric natures. Problem is, based on the atmosphere in the camp according to this report, they may be lining up for fourteen year sentences soon enough.

Right of Reply

Victor Konwea wrote,

We are not ready for state policing; community policing, maybe – but handled with GREAT care and circumspection. We are not mature enough as a people and as a nation; nor is our democracy old enough.
We may need another 50 (!) years (maybe even more!) before we can have state/community police forces. If not, we risk giving thugs-in-office veritable and well-armed mini-armies to terrorise their populace/electorate, subdue/crush their opponents or, worse, enforce religious/cultural ‘rules’ which would be completely at odds with our constitution and federal laws.
Biko, e ji m Chukwu yo e, let us wait: maybe our children (or grandchildren) will enjoy state/community policing; but not us…

Chxta responds,

Name me just one, country with a population larger than 50 million, and a low crime rate, that has a central police force as its only police force.

Richard Green wrote,

In Japan, half the arrested offenders are released by the prosecutor,who has power to let them go if they apologise n seem intent on behaving better in the future. The emphasis in the Japanese system is not on a judgement category but on what comes next. The crime rate in Japan is very low. There is one lawyer for 9000 pple compared to one lawyer for 400 in the USA.

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