@DemolaRewaju: Dear Sister, use what you have to get what you want (Y! Superblogger)

by Demola Rewaju

In this post some time ago I alluded to my conversation with a younger brother who just got employed by one of those online sales companies and is yet to make his first sale. As he lamented the toughness of the job and I tried to encourage him, I inquired about the top performers in his department and he admitted there were quite a number, several of whom were females. He proposed that the reason they are top performers is because they were probably sleeping with those they were making sales to – a conclusion that many use to justify the success of any woman.

I brought out one of my sales books – this one written by Zig Ziglar, a leading salesman in the world, titled ZIGLAR ON SELLING and opened to a chapter where he disclosed why women sell more than men and the reason was not sex. By the time we calculated to sales profit of these ladies and the disparity of those who had bought from them, it was obvious that it is impossible to make that magnitude of sales only by sleeping with those men – there had to be something more…

A woman is naturally endowed with many things that aid success in a world dominated by men but most women prefer the easy way out of sleeping with men in return for what they need which is the origin of the title of this piece. I do not subscribe to that practice though because it can only take you so far and no farther. To get to the very top of any profession, there are some other assets that any woman can make use of.

Where men are arrogant, women are generally less so. A woman working under a male boss finds it easier to defer to him if he is competent than a man whose ego would overshadow his relationship with his boss. Wise women have used this humble mien to rise to great positions because they make those around them feel less threatened by them.

Some women also use the reverse – they deliberately show their brilliance to those around them who may have underestimated them on the basis of their gender such that their equals never see them coming but the boss notices those one-time comments at meetings that cut to the heart of the problem.

With a female boss, a younger woman who takes and treats her like a mentor is likely to rise fast. Older women can sometimes be harsh towards female subordinates but going to her asking for advice from everything about work to personal issues (where permissible) will open a door that may otherwise be close. Some women however set about antagonising their female superiors and create a blockade where they should be advancing.

Another natural feminine asset is the visual effect of a well-dressed lady. A woman’ body is endowed with more curves than the average men. Wearing clothes that are stylish and trendy but not slutty draws more attention to a woman in a room full of men. This can sometimes attract the wrong kind of attention but if done just right and when balanced with personal integrity, it can make a woman stand out just enough to be noticed.

Respect is something most women struggle with from both junior and senior workers but a wise woman while not coming across as haughty manages to show everyone that there is a limit to what kind of things she permits to be said around her. Politely walking away when ribald jokes are being cracked yet maintaining an air of friendliness is a good move.

Women are generally more vulnerable than men and a woman who is unafraid to embrace this vulnerability will find avenues to use it. Asking for help isn’t bad as most men will want to help you do whatever you want done. With clients, displaying vulnerability earns trust fast. Clients generally try to avoid being conned and are more likely to readily trust a vulnerable person than think the person is trying to pull a smart one on them. Men suspect other men but trust a woman more.

A woman who knows what she has can successfully use it to get what she wants but one who believes the only valuable thing she has to offer is her body will inevitably consider it her only means of exchange for anything she considers valuable.


Demola Rewaju blogs at www.demolarewajudaily.com

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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