by S’ola Filani
Rapper Eva Alordiah has penned her thoughts on the rampant increase in Domestic Violence against women and
rape menace in Nigeria.
In an exclusive interview with YNaija, the ‘lights out’ crooner began saying: “First I think any man who cannot contain his anger within him or channel the energy someplace else in the time his emotions are fired up, is hardly a man at all. It is absolutely savage to look at a girl, or woman and think you should take her against her will, or beat her.”
On proffering solutions to the problem, she said “This isn’t a problem that can be solved, except of course you want to remove the emotion of anger or whatever it is that breaks a man’s ego down in minute particles to the point where violence seems a logical response. For a lot of men, it starts from an inherent need to keep the ego intact. For a lot of girls involved with and still staying with men who are violent or have shown signs of violence with them, it is a question of value. How can the feminine folk begin to give value to themselves? How do you see yourself as a girl? What do you think you deserve? What kind of man is deserving of you?”
She added: “If you don’t give value to yourself, enough to know when to take a walk from a relationship that brings you pain, enough to know when to walk away from a man that is quick to aggression or has shown aggressive tendencies, enough to look yourself in the mirror and realize you deserve better and much more, then there’s a problem. So there’s a lot of work to be done in building value for ourselves as women. ”
Speaking further, Rapper, Eva Alordiah who recently released the visuals for ‘War Coming’ which features Sir Dauda, said: “I look forward to a Nigeria where a girl is respected for the genius encapsulated between her ears, for her immeasurable contributions to society, and not objectified and seen as just hundred yards of marriage material, or property acquired.”
“There are a lot of young women stuck in relationships where face battering has become the order of business, yet they stay on. Afraid to walk away because someone or something has made them believe this is the best man they could ever get.”
“Or the men are finished in the world. Most of the time, women are worried about what people will think if their marriage were to fail, and so they stay on in such relationships which is rather sad. In this society there is a shameful pressure on marriage, especially towards young girls, and these girls are faced with hurried decisions on relationships and marriage to the point where they are willing to settle. For anything sometimes.”
“If I leave this one, where will I go? Who will love me? Who will take care of this and that? How will I find another man? How will I survive?” And this list goes on till we lose another girl. Another queen.
“Girls need to begin to know what they are worth and begin to build that value for themselves. Do not settle for just anything wearing boxers inside trouser.”
“On the other hand, as much as we hate to admit it, there are two sides to a coin and in some cases girls are just as responsible as the men are. Our tongues can be sharp sometimes and we do get disrespectful. If you bruise a man’s ego by disrespecting him or saying things you shouldn’t say, a hand can land on your face in slaps faster than the speed of light. If you are in a relationship with someone you cannot completely respect and adore, pull out.”
“Rape in and of itself is a whole other thing. You never know the devil lurking around. I empathize with anyone who has gone through that or experienced it. It is such a terrible thing for anyone to go through.” she quipped.
The full interview will be published soon.