“Young women of these days are so quick to scream ‘divorce’ at the slightest issue. Our mothers went through worse and did not leave their marriages. They were submissive to their husbands and took pride in raising us, the children. The bible says that a wise woman builds her home. Go and ask your mothers how to build a happy home.”
Whenever I come across a Nigerian man who says this, I know that two things are involved:
1. He has NEVER asked his mother if she was happy in her marriage.
In fact, he’s assumed her happiness — after all, she was married and had children, sons even. What more could a woman need to be fulfilled?
2. He actually doesn’t care if she was happy or not. As long as the facade of a happy marriage was presented to the world, and he and his father were ‘respected’ as the men of the house, all was wll in Paradise.
So she cried often? Big deal. Women cry all the time for silly reasons. Daddy shouted at and insulted her in the presence of visitors? Well, she should’ve just kept quiet and stayed submissive. He beat her? Ayayai! What’s common beating, compared to having a broken marriage?
Remember: God hates divorce.
If a man tells you his mother went through worse and still stayed………..RUN!
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“He used and dumped me. Can you imagine, I gave him my body, my time, and money; I even ended my friendships with other guys because of him. I did two abortions for him and he dumped me. It will not be well with him in this life.”
When I meet a woman who talks like this, I know one thing is involved.
1. Entitlement.
Sigh. What is it with women who think sex is something they give, that men should be beholden for?
It’s a relationship, sister. When you’re intertwined in the throes of coitus, you’re not the only giver. He’s giving too. And you’re both doing so consensually.
Money, time, friendships etc, you weren’t forced to sacrifice these; you chose to. Own that choice.
And all these ‘I’m pregnant for him….it’s his pregnancy’….hmm…
Sister, you’re not just a receptacle. You both contributed gametes; you’re both pregnant for yourselves.
You didn’t do two abortions for him; you agreed and chose to do it for yourself too. So he’ll be happy, so your relation-ship won’t sink in the waters of unplanned parenthood. Because you love him so much and can’t bear to break up with him over a ‘common’ pregnancy.
And unless you think yourself some sort of garbage, you weren’t dumped. The relationship had run its course on his end, and he’d moved on. Yes, it hurts, but don’t muddle the waters with the ‘after all I did for him’ line. Unless you were the only one doing, in which case, the fault is all yours.You should’ve chosen a better partner.
I know there are mental and figurative guns to the head that may make you do things.
But without an actual threat to your life, all these are choices you’ve made of your own freewill.
Don’t be so entitled!
And I’ll say this again: stop doing stuff for men with the expectation of marriage. Ko. le. Never. Werk! It’s just a recipe for heartbreak.
Keep your money, guard your heart and be wary. The times are evil jare, and whether single or married, these niggas ain’t playin’ witchu.
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