Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their funny rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous.

Here’s a roundup of the best we saw today:

Male factor infertility is responsible for about 40 to 50% of all infertility cases in Nigeria…

So Kings stop assuming your pull out game is top notch…you may just be infertile.
?

— Ugwunna Ejikem (@UgwunnaEjikem) September 13, 2019

Nigerians love their culture so much until it’s time to worship Ifa

— Olanrewaju (@Olanrewaju__Max) September 13, 2019

When Dbanj, Psquare, Tuface where on top…. we no dey wait for song to grow on us o….

Song not Plant.

— Fake Earpiece (@Mister_Judah) September 13, 2019

When I worked at DSTV, this guy came to complain that he didn’t have channel 325 or 326 and wanted it so I went in to confirm his claim.

Turned out he was right, but when I came out to fix it, he‘d vanished. Gone without a Trace

— Four-eyed Edo boy™ (@Alex_Houseof308) September 13, 2019

No Pogba
No Martial
No Shaw
No Wan Bissaka

The fate of Manchester United rests on the shoulders of a prolific teenager. Only he can save them from impending doom

His name? Lingardinho? pic.twitter.com/CKULmKAzGa

— Tega? (@ehte_) September 13, 2019

Someone once said that “to know who your real friends are, you need to go to jail”

— Biyi The Plug ? (@BiyiThePlug) September 13, 2019

Most downfalls of men is caused by multiple girlfriends. Sex is a spiritual encounter, not all girls have good spirit, & vice versa.

— Igwilo Kelechi † (@_igwilo_) September 13, 2019

If to say I be Uber driver, I for don go out of business sha cos na so so 1 star rating I go dey get?

Put your dirty leg on top my seat, I go slap the leg comot.

Drop anything, you go pack am before u comot.

Tell me “shut up”, I go come down drag you by your wig comot my car.

— Ugwunna Ejikem (@UgwunnaEjikem) September 13, 2019

Being born into, and growing up in institutionalised and systemic racism is a completely different life to what Nigerians who go abroad to study face.

— Timi Ajiboye (@timigod) September 13, 2019