I love my wife but…

by Bunmi Babz

A few days ago, I was in Abuja with a friend around Area 11, en route to the airport to reschedule a flight. It was pretty late in the evening, but I decided to take a taxi to the airport. After I’d waved down a few cabs with no luck, I jumped into the taxi of the 4th driver, who wanted enough money to build a house, and off we went. The most interesting thing about rides, traffic, and strangers is that we all find ourselves in situations that we really don’t want to be in but must comply. On a normal day, the trip should have taken about 15 minutes, but due to traffic, we were in the taxi for about an hour.

About fifteen minutes into the ride, the taxi driver’s phone rang. I peeked at the name on his caller ID – “mama Sade” – and after a few exchanges in Ijesha, I figured he was talking to his wife. He promised to be home around midnight, and asked after the children. Furthermore, he said the traffic was extremely bad, that he might just drop me off at the next bus stop to take another taxi. After he got off the phone, I spoke to him in Yoruba. expressing my disappointment in his statements. I told him firmly that I’m not getting out of the taxi, so we’d better get very comfortable with each other, seeing as we were both from the same area in Osun. I spoke a bit of Ijesha to him and he apologized deeply, saying he should have known better.

After a few seconds of silence, he turned to me. Actually, he said, he was a bit upset about a certain situation before he’d stopped to pick me up, and that really was the cause of his agitation. Of course I wanted to hear it! He proceeded to tell me that his girlfriend disappointed him. He was sure that she had another man in the house with her, and that he had been working from 3pm to about 9pm to make enough money to make her happy, but she’d told him not to come over anymore. I asked him why he had a girlfriend on the side. He revealed that he has four children, with the oldest being in SS2, but that he has been seeing the same woman for over 15 years of his life and needed a change. He further expressed that he loves his wife, but the woman he refers to as his girlfriend was “sweet”, tall, full, and very fair. I asked him if he was willing to leave his wife for the other woman. Before I could even finish the statement, he cut me off. “Never!,” he said .

The only question I have now is “why”? Why would a man (I know many do) have something great at home, but decide to have “extra curricular activities” – activities that can jeopardize what he has built for over 15 years with a woman he can’t imagine living without – with another woman who he has to share with many more men?

Wisdom of the week: He is not calling you, making plans or making time to see you? He is really not that into you. Have a game plan to get what you want or move on.

3 Comments

  • Naija men want to eat their cake and have it. I sure hope your wife also has her own toy-boy on the side. I'd love to meet her and give her one. I'll handle the costs.

  • Amazing summary, bookmarked the site with hopes to read more!

  • @Lagoshunter n Twitt says:

    We do it because we can. We do it because being married isn't the same thing as being married. We do it because we enjoy female company but we don't enjoy that company when all she's gonna talk about is what's broken in the house, how much more money needs to be spent doing this and that or any other fancy idea she's come up with to keep her in competition with her friends.

    I am married but have never been faithful in my life. My marriage is beautiful but so are my extra marital affairs. I really don't care if I am sharing my girlfriend with other men as long as she's being honest about it. As a married man, you must be selfish to want to keep your girlfriend to yourself, after all, you both know you ain't gonna marry her.

    I love my wife, my kids & girlfriends,in that order.

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