by Ayotunde Adeniyi
As my alarm clock invaded my sleep, I groggily reached to switch off the damned instrument. My hand brushed against a sleeping form. What the hell. The sleep cleared, and the events of yesterday evening came rushing. Ok, time for another quick discharge, as Jennifer (or was it Jane?) stirred and cooed my name. I artfully dodged her while I headed to the bathroom to freshen up. Two hours and one breakfast later, we quickly exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. Jane, an otherwise lovely lady, got a cab and headed off to work. I finally had my apartment back to myself and while doing some long overdue house chores, I wondered if it was really worth it. The shag, I mean.
In today’s world where sex is everywhere, and one night stands are now a multiple occurrence in the week of the average-Joe-in-his-twenties, I long for the days of our fathers when the chase was long and the seduction process was an exciting prelude to the climax of claiming the trophy. In today’s world, ladies now seem to be as bold with their sexuality as the guys, and sex is no easier to access than your average Munchies take-away. While all this is fun (more of us are getting laid), I wonder if a guy should sample every passing girl that comes his way. I understand that from 17- 22 a guy needs to sow his wild oats, but I believe that sex from then on should be a process that is savoured slowly, with lingering memories afterwards. With junk sex you don’t even remember if you came or not. And midway through it, you get tired of heaving and just can’t wait to get off. Apart from the apparent cons – diseases and unnecessary abortions – aren’t we boys tired of the whole routine (get drunk, have a go at drugs and shag for about 20 minutes)? What happened to the fine wine, Egyptian sheets and the fabulous music that came with sex in the eighties and early nineties?
Yes, in today’s fast-paced world, the copulation process has been quickened with Blackberries, social networks and busy schedules, but I still think that guys need to take a step back and carefully select bed mates before they proceed to seduce and ravish them. Players should not be measured by quantity but by quality, and the sex shouldn’t be about how many but how good it was. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not against the exceptional threesome, but I think guys need to quit the junk sex and go for some real loving. Or else sex becomes so boring that Rachel is riding Chuks while he’s busy tweeting about his hectic day at work.
So what happened to Jane? I hooked up with her over the weekend, and we had a very nice time. I just might be sticking with her while I cut away from the adrenaline-induced ‘pumping away’ after next weekend’s heavy drinking session at Rehab.