Onoshe Nwabuikwu: The world’s most uninteresting BBA, the Big Friday Show and some airmail

Finally, BBA Star Game ends

Last Sunday, the 2012 Big Brother Africa Star Game came to an end after 91 days. And as you must have heard, 22 year old South African Keegan is the winner! All this can’t be news to BBA followers. Keegan had six votes to beat Prezzo (Kenya) his lone rival after Lady May (Namibia), Talia (Zambia), Wati (Malawi), and Kyle (Uganda), had been evicted earlier in the course of the finale show. Keegan’s victory wasn’t that surprising though. Not that I would’ve voted for him as he wasn’t the most entertaining housemate and definitely not the most charming. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t have been surprised if any of the other five finalists had emerged winner. This either means the BBA Star Game was such a close race and the finalists closely matched or there was little to distinguish them anyway and as such it didn’t really matter who turned out winner. I’d have been rooting for Barbz (South Africa) had she still been in the race.

I did talk about winning by default a few weeks ago. With some people being shooed in to Upville and potential evictees in Downville being decided through a lottery pick while the Upville residents slugged it out every other Monday nominating themselves, there was always the real chance we’d end up with not the most deserving finalists.

In the past, some viewers used to have BBA withdrawal symptoms after the finale. But after last Sunday, I’m quite sure a few people must have heaved one long sigh of relief last Sunday. There are definitely plenty reasons for relief a few of which I’ve talked about on this page. With the BBA Star Game in line to win the title of ‘The Most Uninteresting BBA’, that alone is enough cause for relief.  Then again, the six finalists must have felt relieved that the endless onslaught of cameras 24/7 had come to an end. And what relief Keegan must feel at winning the money ($300, 000) and the girl (Talia) to the bargain.

By the way, in another not so unrelated matter, Big Brother Nigeria still remains the most entertaining Big Brother as far as I’m concerned.

Goldie, Prezzo’s ex-housemate

Can’t end this without talking about Goldie, Nigeria’s celebrity housemate in (Upville) BBA. During host IK’s last conversation with the finalists, Prezzo was asked or forced to say who (or what) Goldie was to him: ‘An ex-housemate’. Just an ex-housemate, not even a friend. IK had to ask: ‘Are you for real?’ All that time, the camera was on Goldie in the audience. Thankfully, she didn’t engage in any of her market woman ‘Mo gbe’ antics. For that we have to thank God for small mercies. For those who don’t know or have happily forgotten, Prezzo was Goldie’s better half during her 70-something day stay in Upville. She cooked for Prezzo, cleaned after him, and even helped him ration his cigarettes. And several times, the ‘L’ word was used to express their feelings for each other.

Of course in the real world, Prezzo had a child and a wife who he may or may not have been estranged from. Even if he were single with a sign: ‘Looking for Goldie as wife’ hung around his neck, our girl should’ve put a higher value on herself. And it still would have been better to leave certain things till they both got out into the real world.

Goldie claims she went into the celebrity section of BBA as her real self Susan. Perhaps she was looking for love or a husband. Unfortunately, the Kenyan rapper went in as a celebrity and not his real self Jackson Ngechu Makini. Maybe that’s where the problem originated from. You can hate Prezzo for basically thinking women are just handy toys but you cannot blame him for being unreal. As Prezzo, he kept it real. Upville was conceived to be for all kinds of celebrities not your normal average people. And definitely not for Mama Put wannabes. Although I’ve queried this bright idea of mixing celebrities and ‘commoners’ in one contest but if Goldie (who dressed mostly as Goldie) had wanted to be judged as her real self Susan Olabimpe Harvey, she should’ve gone into Downville like Ghana’s Mildred who dropped her stage name Eazzy and became just another housemate.

Nigeria’s prize: Ola, everyone’s heart throb

A Nigerian may not have won the top prize of BBA Star Game but it seems one may have scored big in another area. Ola, one of the Nigerian housemates in Downville has turned out to be a hit among many of the BBA Star Game ladies. Even before he left the house with his partner Chris, Namibia’s Junia was already trying to work her magic. Maneta (Zimbabwe) later named Ola as her ideal man. A view shared by some of the other female housemates who were part of that discussion like Zainab. After her eviction, Uganda’s Jannette also mentioned Ola as one of the guys she liked.

This should make us happy. It’s good for the rest of Africa to see that Nigerian men are not all as bad as painted.

 

NUGGETS

Brekete Family: Voice for the voiceless

The above headline is how the producers of Brekete Family promote the show.  Brekete Family is a Radio programme on 104. 5 FM, Abuja that seeks to right a few wrongs. It’s a cross between being the people’s court and a social club. Although I’ve listened to it in passing on occasion, it was a few weeks ago (on a Friday) around 8 am that I paid better attention.

On this day, there was a retired police ASP who was being owed by someone he’d used his entire retirement gratuity to execute a job for. The man’s sick wife needed money… But the police were not being particularly helpful. Even though there was a repayment plan, the other party was not keeping to it. This was what took him to Brekete Family. And he got some reprieve. Apart from promising to take action, the show’s presenter promised him N100, 000 in the event that he wasn’t paid by the next week Monday.

In a country like Nigeria, one cannot over quantify the usefulness of programmes like Brekete Family. There are very few avenues for the helpless and ‘voiceless’ masses. Nothing works like it should. Is it the judiciary? Or the legislature? Or the I-don’t-give-a-damn executive? For those who don’t wish to take matters into their own hands, succour may never come. Which is why Brekete Family is a viable option alternative.

The Big Friday Show

Quite a lot of noise was made to herald the Big Friday Show especially by MTV Base. Hosted by comedian Basketmouth (Bright Onyekwere Okpocha), BFS runs on STV on Friday from 6. 30 pm and MTV Base later in the evening.  Each week, Basketmouth pairs with a celebrity guest co-host. There have been people like Flavour, Banky W, Timaya, etc. I was pleasantly surprised by Timaya who nailed his mimicry of a typical Calabar man’s accent. It’s refreshing to see Timaya moving on from his victim-made-good mode.

Basketmouth is a capable host. It’s not just because he’s a good comedian. He understands that he’s on TV and that there’s an audience to woo. So, before other companies copy this idea by signing on other comedians as if that’s all that’s needed, they must think of their shows’ content among other things.

 

AIRMAIL

  • ON BBA & GOLDIE

I totally agree with you, this year’s BBA Star Game was a complete mess. Someone should get fired for this shameful show. It was clear to all they had no idea what they were doing. As for Goldie, she is just an empty case. Please she should not insult us further. We don’t give a damn.

Chimdi Ozor

  • ON COCA-COLA TVC

Thank you so much for your short but definitely right insight into the silly Coca-cola advert. I thought there must have been something wrong with me for having an issue with it too…thank God NOT!!!

It is really condescending to say… “While the rest of the world…” Obviously, we are a people too stupid to worry. Enjoy a coke…open happiness, abi? And all is right with our world!!!

Jade

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Comments (3)

  1. True that. Very very boring BBA, they better not try this next time or evryone would lose interest in BBA kpatakpata!

    They should try and bring back BBA naija, still the best .

  2. Nice article on bba,they(organizers)need to go back to the drawing table,this years show was just filled with ueslees heads apparently as u said earlier on I'm sure no one misses d stargame.to be totally honest I felt relieved when it all came to and end which is so un usual.and as for goldie,I'm honestly tired of talking about that girl..no one should blame prezzo for all he supposedly did to her,she's d mumu that didn't go to the hous with her thinking cap…I hope they give us something better next year.

  3. Ohhhh, didn't catch d writeup on d coke advert. That advert is too shameful to bear. Its soo cheezy n cheap, dim witted even, ha. Tot I was d only 1 that noticed

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail