Opinion: How the 2015 elections could make you rich

by  Olabode Emmanuel Olawumi

Elections

Branding is the key! The system is gone past making use of illiterates and thugs to influence the electorate’s decision. Now, it’s the pen and paper, the social media, music among other things.

As a young entrepreneur and an ambitious fellow, I’ve come to understand the challenges that come with making a transition from the lower rung of the society to the class of the elite.
I need not tell you how frustrating it is to have an impressive number of ideas running through your mind, and they are just there, in your mind, lacking the right resources to bring them to life. What makes it more annoying is seeing some clueless fellows possessing those things that could make your dreams come true. They have it in abundance, but they do not know what to do with it.
Leaders who should serve you; who are obliged to create the right systems and policies that will (at least) make life easy for the common man are less concerned about your affairs. Once they get into power, they become gods. They fly out of the country at the slightest headache. Their children study in foreign universities, while our tertiary educational institutions are on strike. They acquire private Jets, not minding if the nation’s aviation industry is in good shape or not. They are the highest paid politicians in the world, and guess what? Most of them are illiterates. They’ve got this low IQ that only functions when it is time to consume goods, but cannot, and would not function when it is time to produce. Even their wives now parade themselves as the ‘Mother of all Citizens’, so much so that their presence in any state brings activities to a halt.
We get to school only to meet old lecturers flaunt their obnoxious lecture notes; notes older than time. When they get more considerate, they download materials from Wikipedia and tell us to do photocopies. They come to class only two times in the semester; the first, to give you the scheme of work, the second, to give assignments. Most students have lost their interests in school as a result of this. Then before we say Jack, these individuals begin to throw stones at the Federal Government, embarking on indefinite strikes. They tell us they are fighting for the development of the education sector. What they’ve refused to tell us is that, students’ welfare is the least of their priority. They too want to be rich since the teacher’s reward is now more on earth than in Heaven, Heaven most of them may not reach.
I know you’ve been wondering, where then, does being rich from the 2015 elections come into place. I’ve taken time to explain the challenges the common man faces to bring you to an understanding that you are in that poor position because you are not within their circle.
As the 2015 elections draw near, the quest for the seats of power becomes more intense. Parties are merging, politicians are joining the social media, and youths are being recruited with the promise of fat pay checks. They have resumed their propaganda once again. It’s now obvious that President Goodluck Jonathan will run for the same position, come 2015. And with all the stunts, drama, verbal attacks that have been hitting the media, for Jonathan and the PDP it’s a ‘do or die’ affair.
Since APC has merged to form a major opposition, I await their Presidential candidate. But if we should go by the list of previous candidates that have vied for this almighty seat of power, I make bold to say that APC is doomed to fail if they present anyone of them (you know their names) to run against Jonathan.
My friends, judging by the recent activities in the country, I have lost faith in their generation to lead Nigeria to the Promised Land (I’m not saying I trust my generation 100 percent either – that’s a topic for another day).  They can make individuals rich though, if one is ready to lick their arses.
I’m sure you know how people do it these days. They organise leadership awards, invite these politicians as sponsors then recognize them with awards of excellence. Even Bode George had his own fair share. Another way is to join these political parties, be an active member, and be loyal to the ogas at the top. But you’ve got to have packaging. Branding is the key! The system is gone past making use of illiterates and thugs to influence the electorate’s decision. Now, it’s the pen and paper, the social media, music among other things.
Are you a good speaker, (o boy) you can become rich from the 2015 elections. All you need do is know how to propagate your party’s gospel. Make the bosses spot you. And gbam! You become a spokesperson. I guess you can write too. That’s very interesting. Write articles about politicians, issues and parties. Support those who will make you wealthy and disgrace those you hate in your articles (Learn from Reuben Abati). Your headlines will make wonders. Trust me, by the time those you support measure your level of loyalty and it is to their satisfaction, your good days would have just started. Who knows? A car, a special-adviser-on-media-matters’ position, or probably a Local Government chairmanship ticket could come your way.
Oh! I will never forget twitter. You are a twitter celebrity right? Believe me when I say you have the resources in your soil. Just hash-tag your favourite politician or political party, say something nice about them and make it trend – Nigerians sure know how to do that considering the high rate of unemployment.  Oh boy – or oh girl as the case may be – by so doing, you would be securing yourself a post of the party’s ‘Social Media Ambassador’. I even heard PR on twitter goes for at least N5,000 per month. Some even earn as high as N50,000 per month. Now imagine if you had a politician or a political party as your client. You don hammer!
That leads me to being an entertainer. Are you an artiste, an actor or actress, a radio or TV personality? Your days of want are over! Just get into the studio and sing about a particular politician or political party. Make sure the song is high tempo. Dance hall music is the key, friend. Oh! You are in the movie industry? Your next movie should celebrate a political figure or party. Also, if you are a celebrity, ensure that you pay a very influential political figure a condolence visit, if (or) when he loses his dad or mom. And don’t forget to mention the ex-Vice President on Twitter. Call it ‘famzing’, I say it is the golden key that can unlock your prosperity.
Why complain again? Your time has come to be rich. Ask the richest men in the country how their relationships with politicians have made their business flourish. Or do you think it’s only ideas that sell? It’s more than that. Shine your eyes well!  The ball is in your court.
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Comments (2)

  1. This is the mentality that has plunged Nigeria into this greedy psychophant-ridden country. We have to start looking beyond the money and start asking out leaders for action. Ee have to stop singing unnecessary praises and booth-licking and start holding our pot-bellied politicians accountable. This is an abnormal unpatriotic article.

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cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail