110 girls were kidnapped from Dapchi, and the woman known as “mama book haram” apparently knows where they are:
Aisha Wakil
“They are with the girls, and they are going to release the girls. I begged them let this not be another one thousand and something days of Chibok girls. I tried to ask them where I can come and stay with them for few days; they didn’t tell me anything. I can assure Nigerians that my son Habib is a nice boy. He will not harm them, he will not touch them, he will not kill them. He is gonna listen to us. He has indicated he loves peace. I love them, I believe what they say. They will definitely give us the girls”
The remaining part of her statement is about Nigerians not condemning because they are not God. What the [insert appropriate expletive] is that?
Aisha Buhari
The First Son is back. That would have caused Nigerians to truly rejoice, if it had not been announced that some taxpayers’ staff left their duty posts to lay a red carpet:
“We thank God for the return of our son Yusuf today after his medical trip. On land at the airport he was received by the Minister of Health (State) Dr. Osagie, while at the Villa he was welcomed by family members, Wife of the Vice President, the Interior minister, Governor Yaya Bello & associates”
Anthony Joshua
The heavyweight boxer shared his thoughts on boxing, family and life with GQ, but one part about strictness caught fire on the internet:
‘I don’t think I’m that strict with Joseph, I don’t know why. But with my niece I’m strict. My view is you have to be a good woman, respectful, one day you will be someone’s wife, you have to learn family morals… what it is to be a good woman”
Reactions have poured in the negative, some expressing disappointment that the boxer is part of a culture of double standards for bringing up males and females. To be fair, the boxer did say “I won’t let him [Joseph, his son] get away with the stuff I did at school”, but that was not in the viral screenshots from the interview.
Kingsley Moghalu
The CBN deputy governor under the Goodluck Jonathan administration has formerly declared for 2019:
“With love for our country and a fierce commitment to a vision of rapid progress for our more than 180 million citizens, and following wide-ranging consultations, I offer myself to serve you as President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria as from May 29, 2019.”
Donald Duke
At the moment, those wishing to be on the 2019 Presidential ballot include Adamu Garba, Fela Durotoye and Kingsley Moghalu. Mr Duke has yet to shake body; what’s up?
“My presidential ambition is still intact, I am only waiting for the opportunity to present itself to make the right move”
Rochas Okorocha
Change of heart klaxon!
“I have decided to run for the Imo West Senatorial zone because if I don’t, bad people will take the position. I told you earlier that my interest is the Presidency but since President Buhari will be contesting in 2019, I decided to put my ambition on hold until he completes his tenure”
Donald Trump
The Donald is trying to broker a gun control deal in the wake of Parkland, but his proposal has set off an alarm:
“I like taking the guns early. Take the guns first, go through due process second.”
His proposal will violate the 2nd, 5th, 6th and 14th amendments of the US Constitution, according to many commentators.
Arsene Wenger
Gunned down by a three-goal margin to Manchester city twice within the space of four days, the #WengerOut brigade has never been louder or more justified. But Mr Wenger wasn’t shaking in his seats at the post-match presser:
“You go up by stairs and come down by the lift. That’s what confidence is”
He ain’t going nowhere gooners.
Ayisha Osori
Our third ‘Aisha quote’ from the week is more strategic advisory than the delusory statements of the two above. Ms Osori has been giving insightful political advice based on her experience from running in 2015, and her piece in The PUNCH will have Nigerians be more cautious in their 2019 choices:
“If you dress a goat in a lion’s mane, the goat still won’t pounce on and kill a buffalo. In fact, it will have a zero desire to do so. Some of us are beginning to understand that if you have a sausage-making factory, everything that goes in will come out shaped like a sausage, so tinkering with what the factory is designed to produce is important”
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