Article

Sex before marriage: 5 reasons EVERY couple should do it

by Kiri Blakeley

couple

Not having sex with the opposite sex can also mean you ignore those longings you might have for the same sex, and therefore don’t acknowledge them.

A lot of teens these days are taking something called the “purity pledge,” wherein they vow not to have sex until they get married. Hey, I’m all for people putting off sex until they’re adults and can handle the ramifications. Because even with safe sex, sex comes with responsibilities. It does tend to emotionally bond you to someone, and that can mean getting emotionally attached to the wrong person. Once sex enters the equation, a relationship is never the same. But one woman recently wrote about her “purity pledge” that went wrong. It led to an incredibly short starter marriage. Once she realized that she and her new husband had absolutely zero sexual chemistry, she counted down the days until she could get a divorce, which happened six months into their marriage. Here are five reasons to get rid of that purity pledge and do the dirty before you say “I do.”

Sexual chemistry.

Jessica Ciencin Henriquez, who kept her “purity” until her wedding night, writes in Salon:

Our bodies wanted different things from one another, so what we ended up with was a horizontal battle. I would hear married girlfriends talk about the joys of make-up sex and continue to sip my coffee in silence. We would fight, and then have bad sex and then fight some more. Every flaw in our marriage and in him seemed much more miserable when combined with the possibility of faking orgasms until death did we part. There was no relief. Six months into our marriage, the idea of separating seemed more appealing than feigning headaches for the rest of my life.

 As Jessica found out, sexual chemistry is something that can really only be ascertained by, well, having sex. Jessica would make out for hours with her husband before their marriage, so she thought that would translate into awesome horizontal mambo. But it didn’t.

Sexual identity.

I know too many couples where one partner was able to cover up his or her true sexual persuasion because he or she simply didn’t have sex with anyone. Not having sex with the opposite sex can also mean you ignore those longings you might have for the same sex, and therefore don’t acknowledge them.

Sex itself.

Not everyone is great in bed, and most people don’t start out very good at all. A lot of good sex is about listening to your partner and being able to respond accordingly. But how do you know if someone is a good listener or responder unless you try it first?

Size.

Don’t you want to know if your husband is packing a hunting rifle or a tiny little plastic kid’s pistol? After all, he knows how big your boobs are. I’m not saying size would be a dealbreaker, but don’t you have the right to know what’s down there?

Sexual issues.

Sexual problems like premature ejaculation, inability to get an erection, or even an allergy to your partner’s semen are all possibilities, wouldn’t you rather deal with those issues before you’re married? This way you know if your future is even going to address them.

Let’s face it, sex plays a big role in marriage. Just like you should discuss children, religion, and where you both want to live before tying the knot, sex is too big a part of a relationship to leave to chance.

Do you think it’s a good idea to have sex before marriage?

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Read this article in  Huffington post

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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Comments (9)

  1. Lies! Lies!Lies. These are all lies from the pit of hell. If you are reading this, please do not be deceived by this writer, Sex before marriage is a Sin that God frowns at. BE WISE!

  2. My dear, you don't need to encourage moral decadence. It's true that most of us might have found ourselves in such situation but this does not mean that it's right to have sex before marriage. We are explicitly warned not to embrace fornication: Shun youthful lust( 2 Tim. 2 :20-22). Trying to know a man's sexual ability before marriage shows shortsightedness. God knows the type of man that will be okay for for you. It's not only sex that matters in marriage so if we want to go by tasting, how many things are we going to taste before marriage? It's absolutely wrong to be carnal . Let's submit to God and our heart desire will be granted.

    1. Sm pple, hmmmmmmm! I no say anything oooooh

  3. devil dey decieve you, u na dey talk say u wan get knowledge, all of you might see yourself in hell in a little package.

  4. This is not trashy neither is it immorality, these are facts and we tend to use religion to cover it. If you are married you will understand the role of sex in marriage. I am not sure any woman not to talk of man can put up with bad sex.I am sure some people commenting here had sex before their marriage they are just here forming hollier than thou.

    1. Evrybdy cant b lik u or d writa.

  5. Trashy…..could not bring myself to read it through! When it comes to stuffs like this, u have no place telling people what is not, allow each person to make der own personal decisions esp wt us all knowing wat is ryt and wrong! If I choose d wrong path, I will sort it wt God…..but don’t mix people up!

  6. Your posts are increasingly becoming very trashy. Why promote immorality? Yes, many have sex before marriage, but they know its wrong and will make their peace with their God. But for you to encourage fornication??? May God forgive you!

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