by Itunuoluwa Adebo

Yes! I personally commend your courage and guts for wanting to take the very tricky step of sliding into a girl’s DM or even dropping her a line on her timeline. It definitely takes a balance of confidence and vulnerability to do any of these things, so high-five bro!

So for those of you who have probably been under a rock and don’t know what “sliding into DM’s” means, here’s the quick fix: Sliding into DM’s is the millennial way of walking up to a girl on the street and asking for her number”. See her, like her, send her a direct message, quite simple and straightforward right? Not so much

So let’s get to it;

Confidence is MAJOR key

You have got to be confident and own it. Since you’re the one initiating the conversation, you have to HAVE a game plan so you don’t end up being blocked or ignored. Do NOT start off with calling her any form of endearment, words like bae, boo, baby, damsel, sexy, pretty, beautiful or declare “you’re in love or crazy about her”.

This would instantly put her off. Trust me, it will.

Do your research

I know the thought of doing research seems quite daunting but I’m not referring to a PhD thesis, but it is very important. If you have friends that know her, ask about her. Once you’ve gathered information that you’re satisfied with, introduce yourself, be pleasant, clever and witty. If she responds to your introductory message, send a follow-up message. Still no endearment, please. You have it from here. Chat with her without flirting until she shows some form of interest. If she doesn’t show any, keep scrolling!

Typing the word ‘Hi’ and nothing else

Saying ‘Hi’ is great, definitely better than ‘Hello Sexy’. However don’t just send Hi, it doesn’t cut it either. A girl’s first response is usually to *roll her eyes* introduce yourself briefly and comment on a recent post of hers- a friendly, but not overly familiar comment. Abeg, biko, please do not say, “I want to be your friend”, that line is one of the biggest cliches in the boy-meets-girl-directory. Be direct, leave a “call to action” (request for her number so you can talk further) at the end of your message.

Do not ASK or SEND nudes

Enough said.

Please Proofread your message before hitting send

The point is that you should be careful when sending DMs by looking over your spellings and apparent level of thirstiness. Hit send only when you can proudly say, “I got all the game!!!”