Elnathan John: How to get (and keep) foreign friends

To maintain foreign friends you need to have foreign thoughts and habits. You love all things foreign. But despite the repeated olive-oiled anointing your pastor gave you and your passport, you failed to get a Visa. You failed thrice- to America, Canada and Britain. You lost a lot of money trying. After the long grueling... Read More

elnathan john, Embassy, foreigner, friendship, imagination, visa

August 31, 2012

Elnathan John: How to be a Nigerian writer

You know the value of books. The process of making them intrigues you. You want your name on the front cover of a book and, like an earthworm inches through dirt into the ground, you want to make your way into people’s homes, heads and hearts. I am here to help you achieve that. First,... Read More

Book Launch, elnathan john, publishing, writing

August 23, 2012

Elnathan John: How to succeed as an opposition politician

Our politicians in the ruling party have failed us. And God will address their matter. But before that divine judgment must come the judgment of the people. It is your responsibility as opposition politician to deliver this well-deserved judgment on behalf of the good and oppressed people of this country. Your status as opposition politician... Read More

elnathan john, nigeria, Politics

August 17, 2012

Elnathan John: How to cope with stress in Nigeria

Most of us who were born in Nigeria, take a lot of things for granted. The kind of trauma we experience daily would send the average Japanese guy flying out a 23rd floor window. Make no mistake about it, Nigeria is a... Read More

Alomo bitters, elnathan john, motivational books, nigeria, stress

August 1, 2012

Elnathan John: How to behave as a car owner in Nigeria

by Elnathan John You have crossed that awkward, deeply uncomfortable, sometimes shameful social state of being without a car. I mean in some countries where the public transport system works, not having a car is no big deal. But you are in Nigeria, where public transport is living hell, and owning a car can be... Read More

car owner, elnathan john, satire

July 22, 2012

Elnathan John: How to worship the Nigerian ‘God’

by Elnathan John The Nigerian god is one. It may have many different manifestations, but it is essentially different sides of the same coin. Sometimes, adherents of the different sides may fight and kill each other. But Nigerians essentially follow the Nigerian god. This article is for all those who want to become better worshippers.... Read More

Church, corruption, elnathan john, God, mosque, Religion, worship

March 13, 2012

The piece everyone’s talking about! How To Become A Nigerian ‘Activist’ 101

by Elnathan John (Editor’s Note: Article is posted with author’s permission) You stare at the Nigerian on CNN; at his gleaming forehead. He is taking his time answering questions about Nigeria in an accent that is improved for export. After his name comes the title, ‘Activist’. This man has gone places with this title. You... Read More

#OccupyNigeria, activist, cnn, elnathan john, nigeria

Elnathan John: How to get (and keep) foreign friends

Elnathan John: How to be a Nigerian writer

Elnathan John: How to succeed as an opposition politician

Elnathan John: How to cope with stress in Nigeria

Elnathan John: How to behave as a car owner in Nigeria

Elnathan John: How to worship the Nigerian ‘God’

The piece everyone’s talking about! How To Become A Nigerian ‘Activist’ 101

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