Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Drey

Shey you people see this one now?

I need a girlfriend that will steal her father’s car for me, sell it and tell me to eat the money alone. Do those kind of girls still exist?❤️

— ?? DREY’ LO ?? (@RealDreylo) November 13, 2018

Ole!

2. Ebitu

Dear Lord,

Today, bless this day. remind me that it is not meant for me to fully understand, nor to control every trial, or situation. but give me the wisdom & the faith that I need to trust You beyond my own knowledge of things. take away my burdens & add more joy. Amen??

— E B I T U™ (@ProEbitu_) November 13, 2018

Amiiiiiin!!!

3. Chukwuemeka

When it's raining, a foolish man increase the population by thinking weather for two while the wise men increases their bank accounts by thinking people need umbrellas. Stop thinking only of your pleasure & start thinking of your treasure. Treasure brings pleasure.

— CANADIAN CHUKWUEMEKA™ (@GodspowerSpeaks) November 13, 2018

Okay we have hear.

Is it your weather for two?

Choices bro, choices.

4. Smart

Why do young boys of nowadays hate the source of their birth, WOMEN? Once you say anything about treating women with regard, love and honour, they will start agitating like snakes

— OGA SMART (@Smartnoys) November 13, 2018

Let’s guess. ‘Upbringing’…’experiences with women’…

5. Thonydking

This is wah we go through twice in a month…..#sperm pain pic.twitter.com/gFW5JVV3Hk

— thonydking (@thonydking) November 12, 2018

Twitter… I want to make a suggestion.

Let’s (I will be on the board) start doing usability tests for people that will like to use the app.

Because I do not understand what that guy is saying now.

6. Bez

I've always wondered… why does the couple arrive in cars that isn't theirs for their wedding? I did it too, so don't ask me ?

— BEZ (@BEZidakula) November 13, 2018

Look at this brother. After asking, you now say we should not ask you.

7. Dr S.

A sperm cell contains about 37.5 MB of information. There are about 100 million sperm cells per ml; the average ejaculation is about 2.25ml, and takes about 5 seconds. This makes the average bandwidth of the human penis 1687 TB/sec

I know, that's a lot of information to swallow

— Dr. S (@LordSurh) November 13, 2018

Wehdone oo, Wehdone. A lot of information to swallow indeed.

8. Kizz Daniel

With God everything go just BAM ✊?

— KIZZ DANIEL (@iamkissdaniel) November 13, 2018