Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here are the ones we saw today:
If you are looking to post someone’s nudes, think deeply about it. After you do it, you will lose your job and you will sleep in panti with fellow criminals. You will be arrested on a Friday, so you will spend the weekend in jail before being charged on Monday. Be wise.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) March 5, 2019
This should reset the brain, regardless.
The Nigerian Constitution is totally silent on the existence of traditional ruling/royal families: Are they ceremonial? Are they accountable? What’s their relationship to the state structure?
Reason 28 why we need a new and transformative constitution for the Nigerian people.
— Ayo Sogunro (@ayosogunro) March 5, 2019
This is the tea.
The fact that Nigeria has endured for almost 60 years doesn’t prove anything – after all, North Korea has been around for more than 70 years. Would you like to live in North Korea?
— Onye Nkuzi (@cchukudebelu) March 5, 2019
Let me take my chances, Onye Nkuzi.
What if all the cool kids who are too cynical for politics actually got involved, and helped us push out the parasite contractor class?
— Chief orwelliANDYstopia (@andyRoidO) March 5, 2019
What did you just call it??? https://t.co/k4WJmqzC8V
— Ogundipe Omotayo???? (@tayo_dips) March 5, 2019
This tweet has murdered me.
Another day, another disappointing straight man.
— Alithnayn (@Alithnayn) March 5, 2019
You haven’t heard? Straight men are trash.
When Bernard Dayo isn’t writing about pop culture, he’s watching horror movies and reading comics and trying to pretend his addiction to Netflix isn’t a serious condition.