by Ifreke Inyang [@ifreke]

[9th – 14th May, 2011]

MONDAY: “Oh no! 2day can’t be Monday! 🙁 ,” @SlimMariam tweeted. “What happened 2 d weekend? Dat was d fastest weekend I’ve had in a long time!” While she was still wondering, @jordan302utd was thankful for the new week. “I’m just waking up and I’m thinking , WOW, I’m so blessed to be alive. Thank you God for the gift of life!” he tweeted. @2ndelawal tweeted his desire about the week. “This week shall be better than last week by His grace.” He said. While everyone else looked forward to the new week, @riKOKOmasta was looking forward to the next boxing match that would involve Pacquiao. “The next Pacquiao fight, I’m selling one of my kidneys on e-Bay and putting all the money on him to win!” he tweeted.

TUESDAY: @misslasgidi was going to spend all her money on shopping today. “My bf just dropped some gud dough for me,” she announced joyfully. “It’s time to hit the boutiques!” @Ugo_Thomas was in a salon and he tweeted his frustration at not being attended to promptly. “Been in this salon for2hrs now. WHEN WOULD I BE ATTENDED TO FOR HEAVEN’S SAKES……arrghhhh!” @imeldagurl told us about a party she attended today. “I’m going for a buffday bash in a bit. I hear it’s going to be mad fun.. Omo, I don empty my belle o… Na the food I dey target jawe!” she confessed. @hosker7 was having fun all by himself but it turned sour. “Now I knw drinking red wine in d afternoon is not good…. Chai! I don enter am today…”

WEDNESDAY: That didn’t stop @Sal_VaDoR_ from asking those in Gwagwalada to hook up with his

friend for drinks. “So if u r in Gwags and u wana Booze , u can like to ff @stritzdrimz his doin hiz thin today  #GirlsOnly” he tweeted. Someone who would definitely not be eating out for a while is @MajorBoy8 and he told us why. “Dear Fastfood, my kid sista is in town. I’m sorry I won’t be seeing u this week…I’m not trying to dump u or anything but…I’m sorry..” @toluogunlesi was going to unfollow some people and he wasn’t sorry about that. “I have to start a campaign of mass blockage on Twitter. Too many math-wizards on my TL. TL is overheating. I need more human beings abeg :)” he tweeted. @fizweet was however pondering what to do with the perpetual broadcasters on his BB. “Dis same tragedy at Lagos/Ibadan Expressway does it happen everywk?” he asked angrily in his tweet. “Cos I am tryin to find a reason why my bbm contacts kip sendn d same msg!”

THURSDAY:  @1sick9jadude didn’t know why guys were chasing him on twitter but he set the records straight with the tweet that read: “My asshole is meant for “shitting” alone….pls lemme alone o!”. @tobiamoo was hoping that some of those who pestered him to read their blogs would stop if he started telling him the truth. “The next time someone asks me to read his/her blog or story, I’ll just be honest and say it as it is! Hopefully, I’ll never get asked again!” he said in tweet. @ImFromBRITAIN asked her Aunty to send her clothes and she didn’t like what she got. “My aunt sent me two dressed from London and it’s safe to say she doesn’t know my taste or my size.” She fumed. @Lucya_E was struggling with her addiction to the taste of Nutrimilk. Her tweet was: “So I woke up ds mrnin and said to myslf see ur fat face’. Then on my way to class I stopped to buy a bottle of Nutrimilk dt mkes me fat instantly. Smh.”

FRIDAY: @tomwah_: tweeted his grouse with fat people. His tweet was: “Dis fat pplwe cheat slim pple o….we pay d same transport fare n dey end up using more space….kmt!” For those who wanted to lose weight or keep fit however, @som1twisted had a special announcement. It said: “500L boys training frm 7am tmrw. Fitness and tactical training. Pls be punctual.” @fabuloussbee was quite eager to see Thor at the cinemas. “I just gt ticket to see Thor in 3D. If it’s no good ehn I knw d ppl on twitter to harass for a refund..” she warned in her tweet. @Kemmiiii was her way home and she didn’t like the fact that she had to stop over at the hospital with her Dad. “This is why I hate going out with daddy…we hafta stop at the hospital before going home….*sigh* lemme enjoy my pre-clinical time while it lasts.” She tweeted.

SATURDAY: @OvieO had a great week and he was thankful to those who made it possible. “What a week!” he tweeted. “The hard work def paid off… thanx 2 “certain ppl”… And my only disappointment isn’t such a setback afterall :-D” It wasn’t the same feeling for @iamdban who  vented in his tweet: “ Now that’s it. No more shows for me by Amateur promoters sorry my fans if u want to see me get a professional promoter..” @Shakar_EL was thankful to all those who played his songs though. “Shout out to all the DJs and radio that are still playing my joints out there. No management, no PR company, no godfather, jus good music..” his tweet said. Man Utd might have not played good football all season but they confirmed their record breaking 19th title today. Their fans on twitter joined the celebrations. “Manchester United – Got The Point, earned the point and proved the point #19” @PengBoiz declared.

Gbagaun of the week: Take your pick!

@bidecks: I’m need to do that right now

@Sal_VaDoR_: I’m not as think as u drunk I am

@AnaMer_DeLeon: I just kill an Ant! :'( & if it have childrens? :”'(

@lianneblaze: SIREradical why you don’t know how to swim?

@Abraham4lyf: @Onana_aisha Ok, which university did u applied for?

@SpiderAnderson: Runnnning to the airport I can’t lost my fly today…ooosss

@Daa_Last_CoOkiE: Watch Tv Or Doing Sumfin Fun. .

@yeansix: I’m about to sleeping..

Recommended: Follow @GossipBoyNaija, @Emmykeyz and @LaoluSwaggz and ask for a follow back.

Rant of the week: @djbuzzle:I Speak my Mind & its my Opinion. Psquare’s 2Singles re Good Party Tracks but they Should use oda Naija Producers…I’ll wait till Album sha

Tweet of the week:

@IamroteSki: I am tired of folks! You ping them in January n they won’t reply till June!

Retweet of the week:

@MTNNG tweeted: “This is the official MTN Nigeria Twitter handle. You can provide feedback here too! Life is richer with MTN :-)”.

@modernwifey retweeted and said “Rich? Stop it oooo!”

Did you miss this tweet?

@234next: Staff salaries still being owed at 234next.com http://bit.ly/hW3033

Seriously tweeting:

@Tufab: God is watching us in 3D let’s be careful… He sees clearly all we doing 🙂

Quote my tweet:

@medianemesis: No, you won’t see me cussing any of the telecom coys in the next 7 days or so. Shebi na me use my own hand pay for BIS from bastard company?