by Ifreke Inyang [@ifreke]
[16th May – 21st May, 2011]
MONDAY:“Good morning world. Are you runnin’ already? Hope you didn’t forget to pause and reflect before hand,” @ScoreorOffside tweeted as the new week began. @aquamarine05 reflected on a weekend where she pretty much had nothing to do. “This was such a lazy weekend for me, loved every moment … Gonna be the last one in a long time 🙁 #OnTheMove for the next 7 weeks :),” she tweeted. @femcee_cyclone was already looking forward to the rest of the week and his prayer was: “This is d week that will turn our lives around for the better…” However, while trying to get better OS, @eggheader ended up with issues. His tweet read: “In a bid to upgrade the OS on my iPad, I just lost the functionality of my “SCREEN LOCK” key. Is that common to everyone pls?” In @Sal_VaDoR_’s opinion, the word ‘royal’ was too common these days. “These Days every Gurl is a Royal Somethin Sha E.G Royal Hottie, Royal beauty, Royal Goddess but av never heard Royal Ugliness Before.. smh” he tweeted.
TUESDAY: @PengBoiz felt he wasn’t looking as good as he used to anymore, thanks to a shave. “So this people finally made me shave! Look at me now! I look Less My Age ☹”he said in his tweet. For @RaufTheBaous, he was worried that he would not be here on earth to celebrate a new age. “My 18th Birthday is around The Corner! Wait does that mean the world would have ended? *burst into tears* wtf?!” @Aniekeme’s sadness was that she didn’t send her stuff on time. “Shit! I was meant to send my FedEx authorization form since now it’s too late,” she tweeted. “It’s going to be a long wait now -_-“ @KevinWithAnL however sent a disclaimer to those on his TL. It read: “#Disclaimer:Ladies, pls ignore any tweet hereby tweeted by @Andhiii concerning a scheduled marriage, the chic is delusionally disillusioned!” @ormainy’s tweet was a wish about an artiste many were beginning to think was actually delusional. “I wish dese were d days of Prophet Elijah! Wuda called fire to burn lady devil gaga!” she tweeted.
WEDNESDAY: @MissLasgidibabe’s wish for her boyfriend to send her some money. “I av just sent a very emotional text to my bf,” she told us in her tweet. “I hope that results in some serious money in my acct!” @Yveolution was more interested in the results of another ‘competition’ which she declared
open. “I now declare the Nigerian Twitter boobs and yansh avatar competition open! *cutting rope* hehehe” she announced excitedly in her tweet. @fididoliks wasn’t excited about his previous semester’s results. His tweet was: “Na wa o! So after all my jackin, I still get one carryover for last semester.. No wahala sha, I don knw wetin I go do” @LaoluSwaggz felt people should be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. “Parents make d same mistake ova n ova –protectin ur kids 4rm makin mistakes wont teach them anything. Just guide them n support wat they do.” He said in his tweet.
THURSDAY: @Yolnizzle definitely saw the mistake in what she did. “I just paused my Donnie McClurkin Album to play Whizz Kalifa’s Black Yellow,” she tweeted. “It just feels morally wrong :-(…” @Drewbaba didn’t seem to share such sentiments as he applauded Beyonce’s new video. “Okay. I hvnt seen beyonce dance lik dat in my life.. oboy dis gal has outdone hersef. Nice video!” he commended. @IamdoyinAce wasn’t impressed by a tweeter who was overtweeting in his opinion. “How can one have over a 100k sweets in less dan 10months???” he queried. “Dat is insane mahn!!! Get a life ooo!! Even dose tweetin since 2007 no get 100k tweets!” @FolaBronzeberry kind of agreed with him. Her tweet was: “It’s rili not about d numba of tweets we have….it’s about the amount of sense d tweets make..” @LalaGidiBoi didn’t see any sense in the rumours that the world would end last weekend. He spoke in his mind in his tweet. “The world can not end jor…. Do we look like we have tribal marks on our faces … Won fe ko wa lobe je ni jor!” he said.
FRIDAY: That didn’t stop the gist being the talk of the day on and off twitter. Tweeps made jokes out of it while others prepared for the ‘rapture’. @TheExtrovertKid saw the funny side of the chance of missing out on the Champions League that would be played this weekend. “Are there Viewing centres in Heaven?” he asked. “There’s the UCL Final. Oh shoot, we can’t watch the “Red Devils” play now, can we? -_-” @kingkc1 stopped following everyone who asked him to and he told us why. “To all d peeps saying pls follow back on my mentions. I follow only Jesus #May21” @AB_Kay didn’t believe any of it. “But who are the sources in Heaven that leaked the news to the Press??? Mshcewww … May 21st ko February 30th ni!” he tweeted. @bubusn advised all those who believed it to plan ahead. His tweet was: “No go do “the world is ending on Saturday” and not prepare for your exams o. E go do u like film trick :D”
SATURDAY: And he was right. The world didn’t end. @TheJDBTweet was really furious. “#IWannaSlap the person who said that the world is gonna end today (Saturday)!” he tweeted. @DJMightyMike wasn’t angry. He just hoped to have an audience with the man who made the prediction so he could understand a bit more. “I grew up with the understanding no one knws d end,” he said. “But if Harold Camping is not insane, I’d still like to know full details of his reasoning..” @MissRebecca_OG however tweeted about some drunk guys who wouldn’t even know if the world ended or not. “These dudes are so high they wouldn’t even notice if the world did end right now. Smh!” Since the world didn’t end, people quickly moved on with their lives. @toki81821 was however not going to make it to a work out session with a celebrity. “So I got an invite to come work out with @eLDeethedon but bros, na Lekki I dey stay o. Before I go reach mainland I am fully worked out sef!” @briksi20990 was sad at the thought of resuming work next week.”So I thot I wud be singing wit d angels by nw… kmt! I actually left a lot of work undone… Monday no go funny o!”
Gbagaun of the week: Have your pick!
@Ms_Deborah02: People liking jumping into me and @deepobanks conversation! Hahahahaha
@iamigbin: Can a Corruption be stop in Nigeria?
@cesc4official: Just watched Spurs vs Arsenal 4-5 the season 04/05 on SS1. What a memories.
@karate_kid_milz: Iono why dis gurls doesn’t want to matures.
@Kingskidmoore: @DONJAZZYMOHITS..Don baba what is the raining doing to you., i guess you have a
lot of koboko’s…lol
@omgugel: People who talk shits about me but they actually doesn’t know who i am #50thingsihate
@taebode: #OnceUponATime chichi of africa and Tosin Jegede were promising young star. Pls where are they now?
@DatNiggaDon: #50thingsihate watching people cry. I don’t be knowing what 2 say to em’ lol
@ezetai: am chil out wit mine peep
@dhebbur: Except me….we’re only congratulation the champions…
@T_buoy: If u skool in Lagos, (Unilag) always thanks God oh.
@Lil_DmZ_FaBz: When God take away something from ur hand it means he keeping empty ur hand to receive something best.
@phemyfreshguy: See dis women oooo, and she is liein on me, in my front @AlhajinNaira But i will go nd sleep in a very soon time woo am atired bt let us talk first
@yinka1010: @Soundsultan I’ve been follow you for the pass 3week but you haven’t follow me back why now? And I luv ur music die
Recommended: Follow @MOsalyHITS, @dnt8Ladell and @Mr_Dibbz and ask for a follow back.
Rant of the week:
@SIREradical: Dem b*tches just brought the light…….now dat i’m goin out……. Thunder fire una mama!
Tweet of the week:
@ChrisIhidero: Chris, taking the laptop into the toilet so you can continue writing this article while on duty is taking things too far, don’t you think?
Retweet of the week:
@sblack11 asked in his tweet, “Where is @rimarocko ooo!” @rimarocko retweeted and said, “I dey heaven jor! Make I ping u later wen dis angel show me where to charge..”
@djbuzzle: After u Gbagauned my tweet wen there was no Gbagaun then u said I should follow u back? I Swear yur Mama nor born u well
Quote my tweet:
@opeolu2: I won’t want my name published as leader of Al Qaeda, it’s just like wishing 2b Aare Onakakanfo… A terrible death awaits you.