by ‘Damilola Oyedele
We wish to apologise to readers who bought Y! Issue 3 and had mashed-up pages of the Asa interview. The error is due to a Printer-Devil (pun intended). We apologise, and have therefore put up the full interview here for your reading pleasure. Thanks for buying the magazine! đ
Meet Asa, the woman.
SHE BROKE onto our collective consciousness with fire in her voice, a bag of captivating tales and the stirring twangs of her guitar â our hearts melted. The dreadlock-wearing, guitar-wielding soul singer was â still is â sometimes too good to be true. But there is Asa the artiste â who can control a stage like no one we have seen since Fela â and there is Asa, the woman who continues to evolve behind the scenes. For the most part, Asa kept her personal life very close to her chest. Until now. The soft-spoken crooner talks to âDamilola Oyedele about the distinctive ideals, thoughts and experiences that have shaped the inner core she has never before spoken aboutâŠ
Growing pains
âSheâs like me,â Bukola Elemide says of one of Nigeriaâs premier soul artistes, a woman she sees as a mentor. âSheâs vague; you never really know what sheâs thinking.â
So yes, she knows what we think of her: that sheâs withdrawn; aloof. âI didnât have a balanced childhood,â she tries to explain.
âI didnât have a balanced childhoodâ
Early in life, the Bukola who became Asa (Yoruba for âHawkâ) dealt firsthand with the bleak reality of divorcing parents. âIt wasnât a sweet marriage between my parents. It was abusive,â she reveals, sharing her response. âAs an only girl, I had a lot of weight on my shoulders. I had to be responsible, I had to be straight, I had to be watchful. Thatâs why some people think Iâm serious or Iâm snobbish, but I just mind my business. I have so much on my small shoulders; you canât imagine, and the less problems, the better for me, so I just take it easy.â
Growing up as offspring of a sour marriage might have damaging, but it came with its unique blessings. âI took a conscious decision to be right for so many, so many people,â she says firmly. âI wanted to prove a point to those who felt, âHey, youâre nothing. Youâve been stained; you donât have hopeââ.
She remembers being just a young girl with a dream. âI always wanted to be a musician,â she tells me. âBut I never got the chance to have an instrument. I only had the instrument in my head, and the table top, and my motherâs cream tube for my microphone. That was the only way out, but I still wanted to let the world know me.â
Itâs not difficult to imagine the little girl drumming on the dining table as she hums a made up tune. Just a few minutes before this interview started, as she waited, scanning through the pages of an old Y! issue, she unconsciously begins to stir her feet in a fast rhythm.  That restless spirit has allowed this eagle soar beyond imagination.
âI needed to prove a point to my mother, you know, that youâre going to have a daughter â children that you can be proud of,â she says.
Mother dearest
Her song for her mother, Beautiful, in her first album, was a true story. âI have a mother who I love so much,â she says.
And just like the lyrics Ni to ri omo, o je iya ni ile oko (For her child, she suffered in her marriage), Asa still believes that sacrifice is one of the hallmarks of motherhood; developing a deep respect for women because of the example her mother set. âI saw my mum sacrifice; she went all the way,â Asa recalls quietly, her eyes still. âShe watched me grow and took me through the stages of adolescence into womanhood. If she didnât stay with me I donât know what I would have become.â
So would Asa let go of her career for her children?
She laughs. âYou know, this is what I love to do, but thatâs why I say thereâs a time for everything. I donât know what it feels like to be a mother; Iâm not yet a mother, but definitely for my child I would,â she says, now serious. âI see it as a very important thing to give to my kids. My mother gave up so many opportunities in her life. It happens. Sometimes you can have your kids and still do what you have to do, but some people choose to sacrifice.â
The older woman has clearly left an indelible mark. âItâs sacred âŠmotherhood,â Asa says. âItâs something that I respect; I look forward to. Motherhood is more complicated than fatherhood. Itâs different. The baby comes out from you; youâre connected from the womb.â
This glimpse deep into Asaâs soul⊠is rare. Itâs rare because it speaks straight to vulnerabilities no one would imagine behind the veneer of tomboyish toughness, confidence. But itâs also incredibly enlightening â leading one to see just how autobiographic her debut album was, and to appreciate the beauty of such brave honesty, and possibly why that album was so magnificently successful â she firmly believes in everything sheâs saying. âMost children I know are closer to the mother. There are a lot of things a woman canât do, that a man can, this is what makes it so sacred. Itâs not carefree; not something you overlook. It is serious,â she says.
There is something simultaneously troubling and beautiful about the Nigerian culture where, she says, âa mother can separate from her husband, and you will rarely find her going to find another man. She would rather remain married to her children. Her children see that and they appreciate it.â
And how much is she looking forward to having children of her own? âIâm chilling. It will come,â she replies, smiling. âIâm not going after it, Iâm not killing myself. I have been lucky to do things at the right time. When itâs the right time, everything is easy. It just falls on your lap.â
I never trusted people â I didnât trust men for a long time.â
Be my man!
After listening to Asa, the first album, for a three-year loop, many would be forgiven for pegging her music as âseriousâ â dealing with themes of war, sacrifice, pain, oppression â but then came the debut single from the sophomore album, and it was brand new woman shaking and wiggling, a naughty smile playing by the sides of her mouth, for her man in the spectacular video for the song Be My Man. We couldnât help thinking âwow, so she had it in her!â.
âThe song is a fun song, Iâm just having fun in the song,â she admits. âAnd Iâm the one saying, you know what, Iâm taking the risk [of falling in love], but Iâm aware. Iâm breaking mamaâs rule. I know itâs wrong, but tonight Iâm in love. Weâre going to go and do all the cheesy things in the world.â
Sheâs all smiles as she talks me through it. âUsually the man says that,â she has a twinkle in her eyes now. âBut this time Iâm the one saying it. It might be good, it might be wrong, but Iâm going to go for it.â
And what kind of man would Asa sing âBe my manâ to? How would she know the one? âI could ask you the same question,â she replies, laughing. âBut you feel it. It takes time to know. Itâs not immediate â you have to build a friendship. You meet people from different backgrounds; with different temperaments. You take something about that person and it stays with you, even from friends. You learn something from everyone you meet, and itâs personal.â
She shares an experience. âMy friends always told me âAsa when youâre in love, mehn, if it goes sour, youâre going to cryâ, and Iâm like âoh, shut up!â I thought I was strong. But later I was in a relationship with a guy in France, and he just disappeared. I didnât know why. For weeks I was crazy, I was going back to the same spot where we met, hoping he would come. And then I asked myself, âwhat are you doing? You have to get over itâ.â
That experience birthed one of the top tracks on Asaâs debut album: the absolutely relatable hard-hitting lyrics and melancholy of love lost on Bibanke. It came straight from the heart. âI was saying âIf I cry, just let me be because I really am hurtâ,â she explains.
I almost wanted to hug her.
Ties that bind
How does she keep herself grounded through all of this though? âI grew up with God,â she says simply. âItâs God that keeps us together in this country where thereâs so much pain and struggle. I donât really agree with the church, but I definitely agree with God. I believe in God. I trust in God, not in humans, because theyâre always going to mess you up. Itâs the way weâre built. We go about relationships the way we go about religion. Thereâs so much religion and so little love â whatâs the idea?â
This sense of a relationship with God clearly defines her views on a lot of matters â including, not surprisingly, marriage. âMarriage is important. Itâs beautiful â you grow, you fight, you make up, you build a life together. Thatâs how God wants it to be â a union,â she says. âYou need your partner; your friend. The most beautiful part is you have your kids, and you share and grow together. But you need to find the right person and nothing less.â
Still, she has a grudge. âWe need to change the idea of what people think a woman should be,â Asa says with some force. âIn our society, young women are pressured to be married by a certain age, regardless of whether they are ready in other areas of their lives.â We share a few jokes, girl to girl, about the concerns of anxious family members.
âEven my mum!â she says, rolling her eyes. âShe asks âSo how are you? Whoâs the guy?â I say, âlook, when Iâm ready to show you the right man, I will! But I certainly wonât go to the first man I meet.â She pauses and then smiles: âI hear that Nigerian men are formatted. They can say âIâm ready to marry in six monthsâ timeâ.â But there is one matter on which she will not smile. âDivorce is wrong. I donât like it. It could ruin the child. Very few children are strong enough [to cope with it],â she says, herself the product of a broken marriage. âI am the result; I was affected by it. I never trusted people â I didnât trust men for a long time.â
Another pause as a thought clearly runs through her head. âI think that was a good thing, because I didnât get pregnant,â she adds, smiling.
One wonders though, where her father is in all of this. âHeâs still my father and I respect him for that,â she says, also sharing her tight bond with her siblings, to whom she still plays mum at times. But again, itâs her mother thatâs queen of her heart. âSheâs proud of me,â Asa says, proud of herself.
Thereâs so much religion and so little love â whatâs the idea?â
Beautiful perfection
Talking about her life might get her quiet, but talking about her music makes her light up â and Beautiful Imperfectionhas enough wattage â but itâs also because the album speaks to the place she is at right now in her life, and itâs a good place.
âIâm happier in this album,â the soul singer confesses. âYou say itâs more glam, but Iâm a chick! I just want to be a lady and really start to live the way I want to. In the first album I was so very disappointed. I had to leave university. My parents didnât have money. I needed to bring that out, and I did. Iâve said mine, and now weâve got to move on. Whatâs the next step? I said âhey, Iâm a lady! Iâm actually a beautiful lady, come on!ââ She giggles.
âWhen I know the song is the right one, all my nerves stand; they are awake. Trust me, there are a lot of songs that people shouldnât even hear because theyâre not right, or maybe itâs not the right time, but when the right song comes, Iâm fidgeting; I want to share it!â
Sheâs really in a good place now â and you can feel it, and be happy for her. âNow Iâm beginning to live the life that I didnât live as a child, Iâm beginning to open up and look inward; to feel myself. I needed to stop for a minute and quit trying to always sort out other peopleâs problems, because it wasnât any better for me, you know?â She sighs. âMy journey has been beautiful but it has imperfection, and thatâs lovely because it makes me fly; it makes me want to get up in the morning.â
Again, itâs clear: Asaâs music hits home for her listeners because she draws from a deep well of personal experience. Her lyrics and tunes are a conscious effort, pointing to where she is at that moment in time. âFor me, every step has been inspired by the happenings around me, and thatâs why when people come to me and say they relate, I feel proud. Iâm not just talking to myself but to other people,â she says.
Not that making this album came without challenges. There were so many things that didnât work out according to the plan. âIt was great, but also crazy,â she tells me. âWe got stuck in New York because of immigration issues, when I was supposed to be in France. I think God just smiled and said âNo, youâre going to go my wayâ. It worked out and Iâm happy.â
She collaborated with Nigerian producer Cobhams Asuquo on this one as well, though the album was recorded by Tchad Blake. âIâm very hopeful and positive about this album â so far, so good,â she shares. âIâm more positive about it than the last one. A second album is not easy; you donât have as much time as you had in the beginning. You get a little bit of pressure, and I didnât want to be pressured so I went to the village. I love the village â thatâs reality.â
She says âteaching through musicâ is what she has decided to do with her talent. âThere are so many people that do music that makes you happy, and thatâs good, and then there are other people that bring awareness of what is going on around us,â she says. âI remember when I was kid, âBata mi a dun ko ko kaâ, made me bury my head into my book. Nigerians want good music and they deserve to have it. We used to have good music back then â Iâm not saying we donât have now â but I wanted to do another kind of music in the sense of bringing folk back, bringing back the days of storytelling, and the days when we were educated through music.â
But itâs not just Nigerians. âTo everyone,â she tells me, excitement building. âBe you Nigerian, South African, English, American. I wanted to speak on topics that were general, but from my point of view as a Nigerian. We need to be educated. We need to be open. Weâre not open, and itâs because of poverty. When thereâs no food you have no time to think of any other thing but survival.â
âWhatâs the next step? I said âhey, Iâm a lady! Iâm actually a beautiful lady, come on!ââ
The woman
She speaks of survival, because she has known those battles â some times at the most primal level, but through it all she stands â a beautiful woman, a talented performer, a role model to younger women.
âEvery time Iâm through talking to Asa and Janet (Nwose, her manager), I feel like anything is possible!â said a friend of these two to me at the interview. I totally agree. Speaking to Asa leaves you happy, hopeful, and refreshed.
And when all is said and done, if thereâs one thing Asa knows, itâs that sheâs grateful â for where she is now, and for what she has become. âItâs beautiful,â she says, smiling. âTo be a woman is really beautiful.â Y!
This article is culled from Y! Magazine Issue 3, out in stores now. To read more of this and other exciting pieces, buy a copy! (Click HERE to find a vendor near you)
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More pictures of Asa below!
Photo credit: Obi Somto for Y! Magazine
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