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Tag: monkey business
Ifeanyi Dike Jr: Have I mentioned the time my entire family got detained again?
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr There was my mother and sister who were on the UK Immigration Blacklist for trying desperately to smuggle in ogbono, crayfish and miscellaneous. Last week, I…
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Ifeanyi Dike Jr: You have to understand something; my sister is delusional
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr Last year, she met Tuface, Mai and Banky W through me, and spontaneously began to weep as though she already readied the tears for whenever she…
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Ifeanyi Dike Jr: Bad things come to those who wait
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr Sean is the best road trip bud. He is melodramatic and does not suffer fools in Lagos traffic; instead, he conjures up hilarious Yoruba insults and…
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Ifeanyi Dike Jr: I came, I saw, I shoplifted
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr Imagine what more I could mistakenly wear out and if I got caught, I would simply say it was unintentional and then pay for it. But…
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Monkey Business: Dad is a merciful Dad (well, sort of)
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr I did not even know what vulnerable meant at the time but having heard Hilda Dokubo say it in a crying scene, I knew it was…
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Monkey Business: Today was particularly peculiar
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr ‘I did not save your life and frankly, I think you are a pshyco. I don’t like you and I don’t like what you are…
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Monkey Business: You have to earn my thrust
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr Let me tell you about Ray – he has bad breath and a face you just want to punch. Also, he is a liar, the idiot…
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Monkey Business: Children of Nowadays
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr Take this as digest - you have never known true satisfaction until you’ve told someone quite deserving off. The phrase ‘children of nowadays’ has never been…
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Monkey Business: Have I mentioned the time I got detained at Heathrow
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr Other times, when cuteness just wasn’t enough, I would fake temporary paralysis – and it worked wonders. All my life until now, detention eluded me.…
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Monkey Business: Vengeance is moms’
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr After all, the fear of Mrs Dike is the beginning of wisdom. The only truth I’ve known for sure since I got an inkling of the…
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Monkey Business: A really good lie will (not) set you free
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr I once told my primary school teacher, my house burnt down with my homework in it. When has the truth ever set anyone free? I’ll tell you…
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Monkey Business: Karma needs to go on a break
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr There used to be manners, where I would never catch myself exchanging words with an older person for whatever reason until Lagos driving happened to me.…
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Monkey Business: Today, I am a hero
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr Today, there was no mischief, just heroism. And it felt damn good. It is not very often that one enjoys the privilege of an interesting…
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Monkey Business: Don’t bore us – get to the Chorus!
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr God knows the number of lies I’ve told this year to employers and class reps just to keep up with my schedule. From cancer scares to…
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Monkey Business: I don’t get mad, I get even II
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr Moments later, my tongue began to itch and my face gradually reddened and swelled. The last time I felt this sick was the first time I…
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Monkey Business: I don’t get mad – I get even
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr Why some individuals think they need to be arrogant, ruthless b***hes to move ahead in the Fashion Industry is beyond me The pre-buzz for a certain…
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Monkey Business: I had sex on the beach
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr Editor's Note: Today, we launch the weekly column of writer, content producer and actor, Ifeanyi Dike Jr. This blog, Monkey Business, will come to you every…
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Monkey Business: In Transit II
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr I still cannot decide if this trip was more hustle than holiday. I had only just recovered from the drunken couple when the London riot…
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Ifeanyi Dike Jr: In transit
by Ifeanyi Dike Jr I do not converse in transit, period! I am not the sort to do back-stories on an airplane or any kind of travel. However, there…
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YMonitor
- Beyond the Power Struggle: Why a Strong Opposition Party is Crucial for Nigeria’s Democracy
- The Importance of Impartial Reporting in Nigeria’s Democracy
- Understanding the Role of Election Tribunals in Nigeria’s Electoral Process
- The Importance of Active Citizenship Beyond the Voting Booth
- How Ethnic Baiting is Undermining Nigeria’s National Security and Democracy
YMonitor
- Beyond the Power Struggle: Why a Strong Opposition Party is Crucial for Nigeria’s Democracy
- The Importance of Impartial Reporting in Nigeria’s Democracy
- Understanding the Role of Election Tribunals in Nigeria’s Electoral Process
- The Importance of Active Citizenship Beyond the Voting Booth
- How Ethnic Baiting is Undermining Nigeria’s National Security and Democracy