by Cheta Nwanze

For those of you who like a bit of intellectual discourse first thing in the morning, Pastor Aribisala takes on the age-old issue of tithing. On this one, he spoke my mind far better than I have ever spoken it. I hate that.

According to ace comedian, Chris Rock, America is probably the only country in the world where people regularly go out hunting on a full stomach. That is how good Americans have it. Sadly, the other effect of having such a good life is that you get bored rather quickly, and as a result fall into bad habits such as not minding your business. Yes, there is no contest in the fact that America is the world’s biggest busybody. Thus it was that while Nigeria shuffled its feet about the incident in Baga, the Americans have already dispatched a team to find out what exactly happened there.

In normal times, I would be averse to such an obvious impingement of my country’s sovereignty. But the fact of the matter is that when the leaders of my country prove to be a petty lot that are more interested in short term gains such as ego massages, rather than other, not so important issues, such as the welfare of the people, then, as the old saying goes, “anything wey u see, just take am”. How else can we explain the fact that in a country which has a far smaller number of policemen per citizen than the recommended 222 per 100,000 people, most of our policemen are either regimented doing VIP security, or better still, sealing up state houses of assembly.

Ah yes!

The same police that could not locate an “elder statesman” who was ‘mannapped’ and shuttled 145km (twelve Third Mainland Bridges) away before a little matter of N20 millions settled the matter and he was driven right back to his home. Now that’s an adventure for a geriatric who I’m sure would rather spend his remaining days just sitting on his porch and collecting the sunlight.

Tweet of the day

“Whatever happened to the 10billion Dimeji Bankole saga or the Hembe case? Swept under the carpet? @chxta” — @africainmotion puts me on the spot, and being that I’m the new Chief Justice, I told him just where the case(s) had gone.

Bits and bobs

For those of you who like a bit of intellectual discourse first thing in the morning, Pastor Aribisala takes on the age-old issue of tithing. On this one, he spoke my mind far better than I have ever spoken it. I hate that.

Tired of having their behinds consistently handed to them, the men-in-black have sought for peace with the khaki boys.

Thousands of students who failed JAMB have protested their failure (and withheld results in some cases) in Kano. It would help if they read their books with as much vigour.

The Lagos state government sanctioned fitness programme should be getting a boost in the near future. The house of assembly in the state has warned keke Marwa about their driving proclivities. We heard these complaints before, then okada got shoved off. All of this type as a danfo careened dangerously close-by…

Right of Reply

Austin wrote,

The lack of Knowledge of our intricate tribal mix and fault lines is the reason why many ignorant Nigerians think a separation will be a solution to our geo- political crisis. A more informed perspective can only paint the picture of an endless creation of countries along different lines. Whilst the religious fault line may make segregation of the north from the south look like a no- brainer solution to its proponents, it is actually a sad and hilarious exposure of their ignorance, as the issue is not in black & white as they think. For instance, what happens to the idegineous christian minorities scattered all over the states in the core northern parts of the country..? Of which am sure they know nothing about. In any case like the bi-polar Asari said, peace can not be bought. Hence the foundation of our peaceful co existence will be more stable on a foundation built on justice & equity and we must start having that conversation on the way forward, so there fore…..National conference! (I have decided to remove the ‘ojuju calabar’ sovereign that gets us all scared)

Ifeoma Obi wrote,

Chiagozie- Godwin is a Nigerian, he grew up in the North and is well travelled in the North as a salesman so I guess he also knows what he is saying tooJ.
Moving on – Rather than dwelling on the Grid-like or None grid-like pattern of Northern towns, I would rather see us hold our leaders accountable for the issues the North. Hopefully with the security situation escalating there, Northern leaders will go back to the drawing board to solve their issues before the violence from there engulf the whole country. Their current strategy of running to Abuja is not a sustainable solution.   

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.