by M Allana White
By understanding how you make your family feel, you can place yourself in their shoes. This allows you to begin to alter how you react and prevent yourself from falling into the same behavior pattern you did before.
In every family there are difficulties, which is why you should learn eleven amazing ways to rebuild a relationship with your family. Actions always lead to consequences, and unfortunately these consequences could be a major strain between you and a loved one. To prevent you from spending another day without them in your life, read further to discover some amazing ways to rebuild a relationship with your family.
1. TRUST ISSUES
Rebuilding trust is among the ways to rebuild a relationship with your family. Trust doesn’t happen overnight. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s true. The first step in the right direction is to allow them to see for themselves that you have changed, and you are worthy of their trust. It’s a large bridge to rebuild, and you shouldn’t expect immediate results.
Show remorse for your own actions. If you come to your family playing the blame game, you’ll lose before you even begin. It’s best to focus on whatever it is that you did wrong and start there. If you only discuss what someone else did, then you are not solving the problem that exists with you and it actually makes you appear immature. Saying “I’m sorry” is the first step in becoming remorseful.
Forgiveness is a two-way street. Forgiveness is for everyone. If someone hurt you, believe it or not, they lose their power to hurt you when you forgive them. When it comes to family and wrongs, forgiveness helps in creating rights. It allows each person involved in the event that caused the strain or hard-feelings to release it and move forward.
4. A NEW-FOUND REASSURANCE
A new-found reassurance is the key to rebuilding a relationship with your family. It shows them that you have changed, and you’re no longer capable of the same actions. With reassurance and acceptance of this change, your family begins to trust you again.
You should approach these building blocks with empathy. By understanding how you make your family feel, you can place yourself in their shoes. This allows you to begin to alter how you react and prevent yourself from falling into the same behavior pattern you did before. You understand how they felt and understand why you shouldn’t repeat these actions.
6. GUILT TRIPS ARE WRONG
I’ve learned from my own family and from the families of those close to me that guilt trips are inherently evil. Seriously, dealing out a guilt trip doesn’t show maturity on any side. There’s a difference between expressing how an action made you feel and using your emotions as a weapon to hurt one another. If you feel the urge to use them, don’t. If your family cannot discuss the problem without them, step away for a few days and try again.
7. NO SECRETS, NO LIES
While you’re not required to tell your family every tiny detail of life, it’s vital to share your life with them. Families should not keep secrets from each other, especially if these secrets could later lead to therapy. Lies, like secrets, just cause further issues. Be honest with your family in relation to this problem and don’t hide major details any longer.
When rebuilding relationships and even maintaining them, patience is vital. A lack of patience leads to sudden expectations and potential downhill spirals. Depending on how severe this problem is, you should be patient with your family. You should never walk in expecting everyone to fall in line and be alright with your presence, especially if your actions were horrible.
9. THREE SIDES TO THE STORY
You know your side of things; however, you may not know the full story. With problems, there’s always your side, their side, and the truth. What you all have to do is discover the truth instead of each person’s perspective only.
The reconciliation process begins with a discussion between all who were involved in the issue. It’s not necessary to include each family member. Each party should sit together and talk this out. You will need to take breaks from each other to prevent friction. However, you should schedule time together to complete this process.
11. IS COUNSELING NECESSARY?
Some families may need counseling to complete the reconciliation process. In severe crisis, it’s vital to seek professional help. Deep-seated problems could lead to trauma for you and your family members. Through counseling, you discover the root of these problems and more effective ways to cope and rebuild your relationships.
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.