We wondered if to be truly honest about how we feel about this train-wreck of a film, especially if we stand the risk of p__sing off people who don’t strong words?
Then we thought: F__k it. This disgusting mess deserves it. And if we tamped down our emotions, we would be trading in dishonesty.
No. We won’t let this nonsense slide.
When Love Happens Again is the comic sequel for an allegedly good first film, When Love Happens (made in 2014). It launched in the cinema this week, and because we are cheerleaders for Nigerian film, we decided we had to go see it.
There is only one possible logical reason why this s__tstorm was made? The director and executive producer, Seyi Babatope was going to America for a holiday at the same time that most of his friends were going to America for a holiday (Gideon Okeke who was apparently the lead character for Part 1 wasn’t here for part 2, apparently because he wasn’t in America at the same time or because all people of good sense and good conscience from OC Ukeje to Keppy Ekpeyond Bassey who were in Part 1 safely escaped this accident in Part 2) and then they decide: hey, why don’t we do a low-budget, badly conceived, poorly acted attempt at a film, that will piss us everyone that watches it and condemn us to the hell fire of terrible films from across the world?
The first thing that hits you is the sheer stupidity of the film.
Everything is stupid. The lead character, Moduroti Bankole–Smith’s (Weruche Opia) business that has none of the trappings of an actual business. The stupidity of premising a film on the fact that a multi-billionaire playboy will hire a wedding planner whose new company has not even gotten one client yet to run a crucial business merger in Washington DC. OK, let’s even say that one is possible. Let’s leave it to pass like that.
What about the fact that, when her boyfriend and his friend are buying their tickets to America, the agent actually swipes the card on his keyboard, despite the fact that no one swipes cards in any businesses any sane person has seen in Nigeria? The fact that Enyinna Nwigwe’s character (who is, of course, called Enyinna in the film because they were too lazy to think up a name like, say, uhm, Uchenna, or Ebuka, or, we don’t know, Barack?!) who is supposed to be jobless, manages to have an American visa and to just get a free ticket that no one cares to explain to us how it came about?
The fact that two grown men travelled to America without having a place to stay – or calling ANYBODY to provide accommodation when they claimed they didn’t have money to book any flat or hotel?!
The fact that a fully grown, adult, sane male decides to empty his account to go to America for 3-days to go and confront his girlfriend (who will be coming home soon o) because he suspects, without any reasonable reason apart from her moaning alongside three friends on a phone call, that she is cheating on him? The fact that they claim to be at the International Airport, but JUST BEHIND THE COUNTER, we can see local airlines Medview, and First Nation and Azman?
Or the fact that they check in for an INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT and no one had the COMMON SENSE to pretend to show an international passport before they are checked in and given boarding passes to go on an INTERNATIONAL F__KING FLIGHT?
And when he gets there, he loses his phone, so for all three days he is roaming across America, because he is a f__king stupid retard and forgets that, in 21st century America AND Nigeria, there is a little thing called Whatsapp, and Instagram DM, and Twitter DM, and for the Lord God of heaven’s sake, there is EMAIL, through which he could have reached his girlfriend and saved us this two hours of horror.
That’s even what pisses us off the most. Why is such a f__king awful film as long as two f__king hours? TWO HOURS to watch sheer drivel? TWO HOURS?!?
They were ALL more interested in showing how much they could mimic British and American accents than they were in actual acting – especially that one called Oreka Godis (Tseju in the film) who was so determined not to do anything remotely nearing actual acting, and just as determined to annoy the socks out of you by stretching that accent and looking utterly, obnoxiously ridiculous while at this ridiculous game.
Only three things were good about this film, and both lasted, together, no more than 5 minutes.
Number one was comedian, Funnybone’s cameo where he was actually funny – even though of course they went ahead and messed it up when he called himself ‘Hip Hop and Highlife’ in one scene and then forgets (because everyone in this film had lost their minds) and calls himself ‘Hip hop and R&B’ in another scene.
The other time was an actually great line when Mo is asked how come she trusts that her boyfriend won’t cheat and she answers “Tobe is a man, men make mistakes. But God doesn’t, that’s why I trust in him to help me make sure, that Tobe does not cheat”.
The third one? At the end of the film when someone finally decides to have the good sense to do some actual acting and Demilade Adenuga (Jimmie Akinsola) says to Tobe: “You are smart to have come.”
It actually made you stop and smile.
For about half of a second.
Because none of this sane five minutes make up for the 120 hours of disaster that unfortunate victims of this film were made to suffer. FFS at the end, Enyinna (who is actually a good actor in other films we have seen) could not even wink properly. I mean, he screwed up even the simple act of WINKING!
No, no, no, no, enough is enough. We have had enough. We need to start calling bullshit with vehemence whenever we account stupidity like this.
Stupid f__king films like this are the reasons why actual filmmakers are not making as much money as they should, because intelligent Nigerians are immediately suspicious of Nollywood films in the cinemas.
And now they have this stupid, nonsense rubbish as further evidence.
Yes, Nigerians do stupid films. We manage them. Because what are we going to do na? This one however plunges a new low in stupidity.
It was like watching the scene of a ghastly motor accident caused by a stupid drunken truck driver. And having to sit there and take it, for two hours, while somebody robs you of N1000 and doesn’t even give you popcorn and coke zero while you are at it.
This film is that bad.
Everyone – every single person – responsible for this film is a f__king disgrace.
People who make films like this should be arrested for fraud.
Stupid, stupid, stooooopid film.