by Kiri Blakeley
Financial questions are fine to ask, there’s no reason you shouldn’t know if someone is drowning in debt before you get involved, but hold off a few dates.
First dates can be very tricky. On the one hand, you want to find out enough about the other person to decide whether or not a second date is warranted. However, since it’s your first time meeting a total stranger, you don’t want to overwhelm that person with heavy questions that suck all of the fun and breeziness out of the encounter. I’m a fan of asking one or two pointed questions that are very important to you, such as, “Do you want children?” “Do you want to be married?” etc., so you don’t even start with someone who is on a whole other relationship planet than you. There are, however, are nine questions that should NEVER be asked on a first date.
1. Do you want to get married — to me?
Yes, people, too soon. And yet I have heard of this question being asked — sometimes just “jokingly” — on a first date.
2. Would you ever do a threesome?
A question perhaps to be asked much later on when you know this person very well and have a pretty good idea that he or she is into some kinky X-rated shenanigans. NOT appropriate first date material.
3. Have you had Botox/plastic surgery/hair extensions/hair plugs, etc.?
You might be dying to know how this 48-year-old woman looks 30 or that 50-year-old guy has a full head of John Travolta locks, but this is not the time to ask. In fact, I’m not sure it’s any of your business at all, ever.
4. How much money do you make?
Few people would put it like that on a first date, but many do it in a roundabout way, such as, “Do you feel financially secure?” “Does your industry tend to be high paying?” “Do you have a second home?” Financial questions are fine to ask, there’s no reason you shouldn’t know if someone is drowning in debt before you get involved, but hold off a few dates.
5. Do you shave down there?
Yes, I have a friend who got asked this question on the first date. The man claimed he was super-sensitive to pubic hair and needed to know. On the first date, he does not need to know.
6. Do you have any STDs?
Again, this is a reasonable and allowable question. But not something that should be broached on the first date. A good reason not to hop into the sack on the first date either.
7. Are you attracted to me?
Talk about putting someone on the spot! I can’t think of a more ridiculous question and yet I’ve heard of it being asked! What choice does the person have except to say yes, even if he or she isn’t? A hardy few might be honest, but then talk about an awkward next few minutes while each person tries to figure out whether to leave or not.
8. Do you want to go dutch?
If you’re a guy and you asked the woman out and you even went to the trouble to choose the venue, you do NOT ask this question — at least if you want to see the woman again.
9. I Googled you and was wondering about that time you … ?
Please, for all that is holy, no Google questions on a first date. In fact, don’t Google before your first date!
Read more in The Stir
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.