Abigail Anaba: Tribute to the Dave’s of our lives (Y! Superblogger)

Mother and child

I remember each time he looks into my eyes, for fear of disappointing me and how I look away because my greatest fear is disappointing him.

My name is Abigail. I am a mother and I have three sons. The first is called David. Actually, his father named him David long before he met Abigail. But that is not the subject of this post. My son, David, the first, turned 11 this March and this milestone put me in a reflective mood which took me back 12 years before. You see, there would never have been a David. Before he was born I had serious thoughts about aborting him. I never wanted to have kids.

March 6th 2002, David was born and what a bundle of joy he was! I have often heard women talking about the joy of childbirth; it is one of those things you don’t know until you know. I had a prolonged labour and the midwife on duty had to literally help me push the baby out. They say having a child changes you. Having David changed my world. I suddenly had a responsibility, someone to care for.

I remember all his firsts especially his first day at school. How he walked out of class and school and attempted to come back home on his own: His first crush *Laughing* I know there’ll be more to come and my wish is that I can see him go through all the heartbreaks until he finds the one; His first signs of puberty; His soft heart (almost too soft for a guy); His love for animals (he wants to be a vet, you see).

The first time he stood and read 15 verses from the bible in front of the congregation. He was just 5. He has always loved and devoured books. The stories he weaves! My boy can make up stories! How his brothers would gather and say, ‘David tell us another story’. The things he tries to explain to me, things I already know but would still let him tell because he is just so enthusiastic about everything.

I remember how he grew so fast, he is now in his second year in Junior Secondary School (JSS 2) ahead of his contemporaries. He may never have come first in class, but he will always come first in my heart.

I remember the day he tried to be Superman and missed the bed. The scar on his forehead will be an eternal reminder that some adventures are a no no. Yet, will boys not always be boys?

I remember each time he looks into my eyes, for fear of disappointing me and how I look away because my greatest fear is disappointing him.

David, my own David, I love you with all my imperfections and I hope that someday you will understand this. That everything I do, everything I have done is because I love you. I love you with all the fullness of love I can muster and I wish that to you I could be a better mother. I regret the day the idea came into my head to abort you and I thank Mary Nelson Brown for being the friend that took advantage of my naivety to ensure that I never did.

I do not know what you are going through right now, perhaps there is unwanted Dave in your life. I just want you to know that no matter how bad you may think it is, an Igbo proverb says “it is not like death.” If you just can, DO NOT abort that baby, DO NOT take that life. Let us live to such a time when we can collectively say: Take a bow, the Dave of my life.


Abigail Anaba is a wife, mother, writer, teacher. She studied Mass Communications at the Nigerian Institute of Journalism. She blogs at www.anabagail.wordpress.com and tweets @anabagail


Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija

One comment

  1. Awww, May God Bless David and his soft heart.

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